Funniest Lines?!?!? - Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere (2004) Discussion

[–] Hannah_aka_Paddy_Rules 19 years ago

A few of many here:

The Personal Hygiene scene ("Once a week?!?!? Stray dogs wash more often than that!!!!")

Paddy teaching Max to dance was hilarious, especially "I'm a woman and you want me" just as that family goes past on the pedalo.

The directions to market ("Pass the dutchie pon the left hand side" "Dutchie pon")

The speed camera scene ("Can't you say the music got y'all gee'd up" "Yeah, like that's gonna stand up in court - reason for speeding Status Quo!!")

There are LOADS of them!!!

H.

Just think of something witty like .....
~~~~~~~~~
I came, I saw, I went away again.

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[–] HendrixTheLaventriaBeria 19 years ago

Paddy: "its alrite for you, but a good lookin lad like me...it`ll be like christmas day for them lads when i step in them showers"
Max: "no its alrite you see av..........wot ya mean its alrite for me!!!! How dare you!!"

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[–] freestyla24 19 years ago

Mick Bustin: "It's them two bastards!" Then when he realises the keys are missing "Ohhhhhh fuuuuuu*k!"

"Come with me....now, this might sting a bit.....!"

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[–] misscherrypie 19 years ago

lmao!!! sooo funny. u gotta love max n paddy (esp paddy!!)

The Malfoys...evil has never looked so good. POTC - July 7 06

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[–] jon_c_7 19 years ago

How dare you !!!!!!!!
Dirty Pig !!!!!!!!!!!

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[–] tb1901 19 years ago

1. 60-40 to raaayyymmooonnddd
2. Put the cake down flower and piss off
3. How, how have i got vaginal dryness.... think about it yer clown
4. oooooowwwwww fuuuuuccccckkkk
5. Bacon's wat about yay thick, bout fourrr mil
6. 10 to an inch
7. How dare you
8. Look buddy
9. (max with gob full of beans on toast)
Max:"man has needs"
Paddy: "man has lock on door
Max "it was locked"
Paddy "was it"
Max "yesth"
10. Row row row yer boat gently doown the stream murrily murrily murrily murrily life is but a dream

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[–] ronaldo_2004 19 years ago

its tv themes its tv themes!!!!!!

like flies on *beep*

the thinnest..of thing ice!

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[–] ronaldo_2004 19 years ago

but everyone has to agree....the best line....billy shannon...

Billy - ''come here''
Waiter - ''were not open''
Billy - ''come here''
Waiter - ''i said were closed''
billy (sticking his gun out) - ''you are now..... get that fooookn coooker on''

classic!

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[–] misscherrypie 19 years ago

max - its a case of mistaken identity
paddy - mistaken identity? what did we mistake em for....a stag do????
PSML

The Malfoys...evil has never looked so good. POTC - July 7 06

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[–] vicy2k2000 19 years ago

1.My balls have gone up into my stomach
2.You play with feathers you get your arse tickled
3.How dare you
4.No wonder we're eating big bobs bastard beans
5.Alright keep ya shorts on
6.Lets get ready to ramble lets get ready to walk

I could go on and on

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[–] Ur-Demise 19 years ago

"Billy don't be a hero"!!

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[–] cae2775 19 years ago

got to last but one post there before some one mentioned what has to be the funniest scene from the series....

the "my balls have gone up into my stomach" sketch..lmao!!!

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[–] kmep0 19 years ago

someone already said it but

PADDY: Bottled in Afghanistan? Al-Qaida water that is. Osama's had a bath in that!

you know this is a great show when peter kay wears a pakistan shirt!

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[–] salopsi 19 years ago

Billy: ...and whose got this menopuase? - you?

MAx... How?... How av i got vaginal dryness?

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[–] el_pieablo 19 years ago

"its a kinda midget

Isnt that a Queen Song!"

"How dare you!"

"When you are going to shoot, just shoot, dont talk"

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[–] CrCr 19 years ago

Paddy: "and what about bringing your dinner to ya, through those trees there,a couple of naked women, there's your dinner sir and here's your desert."

Max: "what's the desert?"

Paddy: "whatever you desire."

Max: "Can I have angel delight?"

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[–] jamesthomson8 19 years ago

Paddy: Riders, theres two of us.

Billy Shannon: Yeah, but one of them got shot.

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[–] bobdenero 19 years ago

Are there any funny lines? This fat boy is SO unfunny

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[–] redefine 19 years ago

"Oh no, you mo-fo! That's proper whack that."

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[–] airtight39 19 years ago

a packet of condoms ribbed for her pleasure...biscuit flavour LOL!!!

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[–] lauralouise21 19 years ago

'You want to call the (pans in on piece of paper) sitisens advice beaourox (citizens advice beaureau) petal' genius!
'were in the middle of a wood middle-wood!'
'ding dang doo'
'weve done more bird than bill oddie'!!!
and of course ...'how dare you'
'its a kind of midget'
'i guess thats ehy they call it the blues'
oh and not a line but when theyre in the exercise yard and wired for sound is playng in the background-cracks me up! And also Brian Potters ;free the pheonix two' campaign- in the same league as the Crimetime Uk episode of pheonix nights!
xxx

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[–] Bo16 19 years ago

When they're in prison
Raymond: My names Raymond
Max & Paddy: The B@$t@rd!

Oh Bugger!
Cap'n Jack, Dead Mans Chest

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[–] Creamy_G 19 years ago

"hi im cliff, mixed doubles guys"

guard - "one afro comb"
max turns to paddy "you never know, you never know"

"is he a girl or a boy"
"hes a boy"
"and how tall is he,.... i mean how old is he"

"im not perry pissin mason"

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[–] colinobeirne-1 19 years ago

Nothin' wrong with my jizzies. They'll take your eye out

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[–] clearwriter-1 19 years ago

"How dare you!"

It's unexpected of max the fact that he uses this phrase and the insulted/disgusted tone he puts on when he says it. It's fantastic and we've heard "How dare you!" so many times before but Peter Kay makes it funny anyway.

Catherine Tate comes close to the funniness of it with "How very dare you!"

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[–] gen927 18 years ago

I love it when Paddy gets out of awkward situations by shouting "DAVE... IS THAT YOU?!" lmao, makes me laugh just thinking about it.

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[–] BlueOnna 18 years ago

Here are some of mine:

PADDY: When Paddy walks in them showers those lads will think it's christmas morning, they'll ride me like a blackpool donkey!

(in the middle of a forest)
MAX: Lets just stay hear for nite.
(beat)
PADDY: I'm sorry, but for a second there i actually thought you were suggesting that we sleep in the woods!

MAX: I look like a rent boy from love boat!

PADDY: Middlewood...Middle...wood. Were in the middle of a wood!

MAX: How dare you!

PADDY: Paddy has needs!

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[–] peter_askew75 18 years ago

"Willy Wank*r and the chocolate factory take one"

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[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] balboaboy86 18 years ago

Max: "i'm chasing rainbows here love"

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[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] i_love_tobey_maguire 18 years ago

"its tv themes its tv themes "
"no way you slag"
"how,how have i got vaginal dryness you clown"
"there might be hot swets wen paddys in town but certainetly no dryness"
"whoose 4 a ginsters"

alll *beep* classic lines

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[–] jubbyfun 18 years ago

i havent had a poo for five days in chasing rainbows here"

"how do you tell if shes made of wood?"

"build a bridge out of her?!"

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[–] eggo007 17 years ago

( when paddy gets shot ) max runs after

Max : oo *beep* me pastie !!

these two are proper legends...

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[–] madanimal2005 17 years ago

when paddys teaching max to dance and hes bumping and grinding on the lakeside saying "youre a man, and im a woman! and you want me!!!!!"
and then that family going past on the pedalows seeing them lol

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[–] hax_9 16 years ago

Paddy: That'll ding-dang-doo for us

Max showing Paddy his sketches of magnet and steel..

Paddy: I'll do your dentist a favour and knock one of them bastards out

Potter: Can't you see I'm disabled...

Potter : Its not the friggin shawshank redemption..(after max thinks the cake is a way of escaping)

I am Jack's Inflamed Sense of Rejection

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[–] ToySoldierX 16 years ago

Max: DON'T BE A HERO
&
'its tv themes its tv themes'
max has the best lines imo.

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[–] IMDB-is-for-nerds 15 years ago

"its times like that you gotta give your hat off to the crankies. i don't know how they do it!"

"can i have angel delight?"

"man can't live off chips alone"