section close to the start and her father makes her kneal on something, and it looks like she was in pain...
anyone know what that stuff was??
i'm not crazy, just ask my toaster...
grits
shareGrits is a southern food made from corn. When soaked in water and cooked, it can be like oatmeal, delicious with some butter and salt.
However, from the box that he dumps on the floor, it is gritty like sand. I guess kneeling for an hour on it with bare knees would be painful, especially if you moved around on it.
That was torture and establishes him as a abusive father.
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He probably would have begun to sexually abuse her soon if she had not left. It was obvious that her sexuality was beginning to show. Without a wife, he likely would have done it soon and moved her into the role of wife.
shareyou are nuts.
shareI agree with barrellrider; SPOILER ALERT!!!
Did you not catch the scene where T-Ray was trying to drag Lily out of the Bee Sisters' house, and yelled at her "You aren't leaving me again," and she kept screaming "T-Ray, it's me, Lily!" and had to shriek "DADDY!" (which you got the feeling she NEVER called him) to snap him out of it, and he said "you look like her."
I'm not saying it's common for men to assault their daughters who look like the daughter's mother did when she was young, but it's NOT unheard of, and the idea was DEFINITELY supported as a possibility in the scene described above.
LOL!!!
Harlequin Films, LLC.
Wow, that is quite a leap! Men don't just sexually abuse their daughters because their wives die. I'm sure it happens once in a blue moon but if he is gunna be a pedophile, he probably would have started abusing her before she turned 14 and beacuse he is a pedophile, not because he's single.
sharePedophiles are interested in young children before they reach puberty. They often lose interest when they mature and look for new victims. She is into puberty and 14 in many places is old enough to marry. Most victims of incest, are moved into the role of wife, doing cleaning and cooking and parenting younger children. How often does this happen? I have no idea. This is a movie and as far as I know, a made up story.
share[deleted]
When grits aren't cooked, it's just like powdered glass. VERY painful.
share[deleted]
i guess that she was really just scared of her father.. and back then it wasn't as easy to get your teacher involved..parents could get away with a lot more
shareI don't think she was scared of her father. I also think that he wouldn't have sexually abused her. Although he is violent and seems uncaring, they seem to get along okay most of the time. They don't like each other but it does seem like they tolerate each other and just don't have much to do with the other. Whether they love each other or not is debatable, but I got the idea that T. Ray felt he had some sort pf resonsibility to look after fairly decently. The punishment for grits was distgusting but maybe he thought that it was for her own good. He was punishing her because he thought that she'd been with a boy and he didn't want her getting pregnant.
shareThis punishment has happened before since he pours the grits on the floor and she knows exactly what to do. This is not the first time she has had to do this.
shareAnd Rosaleen asked her the next day "how long this time?" and she replied an hour.
Back in the sixties, and even before, girls and boys who attended Catholic schools were sometimes punished by kneeling on Grits for any amount of time.
Or so I've been led to believe.
Creatorof2002 - it was the 60s people looked the other way when kids were abused because it was none of their business.
share>>I love grits cooked but I have never seen or heard of a punishment of kneeling in dry grits. That was kind of strange to me>>
Hi, MyNameIsn'tNobody ~
I love grits, too. I've lived in the southern US all my life, but I have never heard of using dry grits as a punishment. I imagine it would hurt like the devil, though. Poor Lily.
LBE
*****
Just shove a bezoar down their throats.
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>>I must be living in the wrong part of the south. lol >>
Nuh-uh! I think we must be in the RIGHT part since we've never been punished that way!
LBE
*****
Just shove a bezoar down their throats.
In the book, it says that the grits are an invention of T-Rays.
Megann
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I don't think Ellie wants to drum
I think Ellie would like a moment with her star
Hey, LogicalDaydreamer ~
Thanks for your post. I haven't read the book, so I didn't know that. I wonder if this means Sue Monk Kidd made it up, too, or if it's a punishment in her part of the South?
I love your screen name!
LBE
*****
Just shove a bezoar down their throats.
it's a takeoff on some 3rd world countries that punish people by making them kneel on rice and other things like that.
No one in the South is forced to kneel on grits as punishment. Not in any part of the South for that matter.
In the story, it does say the grits were an invention of T-Ray's. At the end of the book there is an author interview and she said she isn't sure where she came up with the idea herself; like everyone else, she'd never heard of it being done even in the strict households in her circles.
shareThanks, margegunderson. I still haven't read the book, but it's interesting to know that about the interview.
LBE
*****
Just shove a bezoar down their throats.
Actually this kind of punishment is quite common all over the world. Replace the grit with gravel, broken bottle, or whatever that would make one feel being punished.
shareYou see, if this was McGuyver playing the teenage girl, he would have pissed on the grits to make them soft, and fashion a spoon from some old dried toilet paper- turning a tortuous situation into a warm, disinfected dinner. TV has all the answers.
shareA poignant story, A serious subject. A stupid comment.
shareOh my God, you rock.
sharelol that's why when she was at the table and they asked her if she wanted some grits, she quickly said no.
shareIt was grits. Kneeling on them is some form of sick punishment. My wife's father used to make her kneel on rock salt.
shareOuch! That would hurt. There are so many tendons, nerves, socket and ligaments there it would be agonizing. And rock salt! That would burn the skin as well as the perspiration would combine and ouch!
The guy's character in the movie is mentally messed up. Sick and twisted is an understatement. ANY consideration he would have concerning her would have to do with mostly that he would consider as his daughter being HIS, as property or in a greedy ownership sort of way. It would be based on HIS feelings and how people would look at him, that is peoples opinion of him as a father. Everyone likes to be well thought of no matter their true nature. He has little or no real concern for her well being or happiness.
I know his type well and know they can not be taught to be a "real" human-being no matter the education, reward or punishment. I'm not saying they can't be got along with, all people have "buttons" and can be swayed one way or the other. Do as he asks, let him be the "alpha" and dedicate your life to his pleasure and I am sure he will "love" you (or tolerate) in his own fashion, a stunted crappy selfish type at best, but none the less I am sure there are millions of weaker dependents who depend on this for at least a minimum of living standards.
At least she LEFT!
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wow,when she knelt on it, i thought it was baking soda.T.Ray thought lily was sleeping with someone at the farm when he saw her buttoning up her shirt....
Yea,I AM A GIRL,got a problem with that?
I just finished reading this book last night. The copy that I got from the library has author's notes in the back and Sue Monk Kidd does state that she had never heard of it being used as punishment and had never had it used against her. Her father was a very loving, caring man and she wanted T. Ray to be the opposite of that, and the grits thing just kind of popped into her head. I'm Southern. Hell, I'm from (and still live in SC) and I've also never heard of it. I would think that people wouldn't want to waste the grits... I could see if it was feed corn and he made he sweep it up and feed to some livestock afterwards, but not something that was meant for them to eat. I just don't see even cruel fathers wasting food. Maybe its just me.
shareSome cultures neel on rice as punishment.
But you are right, I'd much rather eat grits than waste them.
i'm from puerto rico and my father made me kneal on raw rice back in the 70s it was painfull but i got used to it then he moved to craked corn that made the rice feel like flour. ??? i guess i wasn't a good boy back then???
shareWhen my family moved to South Louisiana in 1968,I first heard of this punishment (but with raw rice instead of grits). My friends in Catholic schools reported it beign used by the nuns, and parents remembered it from childhood and some still used it. (Apparently it had been even more common in the previous generation). Even in the public school I went to, a common punishment was to have to "kneel down" (on the plain floor, no rice) for however long the teacher specified. It was not particularly comfortable (the knees did really start to hurt), but the real punitive aspect was that it was humilitating. The kneeling was not in private, but right in front of everyone.
Maybe this was more prevalent in Catholic cultures? I have never heard of it anywhere but there.
I never heard of this sort of punishment until a year or two ago when a girl in my child care class mentioned that when her nephew misbehaves, her brother makes him kneel on raw rice. Poor little kid :(
shareThere's a point. We don't know where he was during the war. maybe this was something he picked up from abroad.
shareI dont understand why the discussion jumped to sexual assult! He punished her yes and its a horrible way to do it but i can think of worse (thanks for the explanations of what grit is btw, being british we dont have it over here)
The way I saw it he loved his wife but she didnt love him and lily was a constant reminder of that. It doesnt mean that he was thinking of raping her, just that he couldnt see her without thinking of his wife! SPOILER!
He left her with the women because he knew they would never be happy as a family coz he couldnt let go and it was a time when men were seen to be the head, wat they said went!