Best line in the movie.. - Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) Discussion

[–] Danielle74 18 years ago

Someone should add the part where theres heaps of pizza and KFC on the table and the wife is like "you're gonna enjoy this! I spent all day slaving over this hot meal!" i donno what she says buts it something like that. Thats my favourite line.

Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

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[–] thedoft 18 years ago

Indeed! That was awesome to! The whole dinner scene was awesome

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] crazy_blonde_angel08 18 years ago

Haha i like a lot of them, but my top 5 are probably:
1. If ya aint first, your last
2. If you dont chew big red then F* u
3. Shake and Bake
4. Watch out old man or I'll come at you like a spider monkey!
5. Yes ma'am I'd love to sign your baby

Allie: Do you think our love can make miracles?
Duke: I do.

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[–] HSJDesign 18 years ago

the scene with the knife in his leg

"We're gonna pull it out with this other knife"

I literally bursted out lauhghing.

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] lynmi 17 years ago

the entire dinner scene including when Cal reaches out and says "i'll hold your hair."

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[–] bdwilcox 17 years ago

The best line in the whole movie isn't said at all. It's the look on the anchors faces when they come back from the clip about the french driver's personal life.

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[–] icecarl04 17 years ago

haha, I know

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[–] justin_miller 17 years ago

The room's startin to spin... cause of all the gayness. Cal... I love you

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[–] red_dragon311 16 years ago

piss myself ever time i see that scene

in fact pissed myself right now

"For there's a man inside me. And only when he is out...can I walk free of pain"-Tobias Funke

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[–] mahoganytouch 9 years ago

Yes! I laughed reading your comment.

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[–] fatkidtigerwoods 17 years ago

Remember when we got kicked outta Biology for playing with Matchbox cars? --Yeah-- Who's Retarded now!?

This sticker is dangerous and inconvienent, but I do love fig newtons.

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[–] harrychalcraft 17 years ago

"MOTHER *beep* WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I CARE!?"

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[–] actorboyNC 16 years ago

One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth!

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[–] mahoganytouch 9 years ago

Yass! I use this one often.

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[–] crazydustyn 16 years ago

That Idea ain't worth a velvet picture of a donkey and a wale getting it on

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[–] sandyclaws123 10 years ago

I believe it's "...dolphin and a whale..." not "donkey".

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[–] Muse_fan78 18 years ago

I LOVED THAT QUOTE!!! Turned it into my MSN display name like the MOMENT I heard it!

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] badgersrewl 17 years ago

:3 I hate you.

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[–] JohnTequila 17 years ago

By the way Ricky, I watched the Highlander movie. It was *beep*
Classic line.

http://www.myspace.com/joshtequila

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[–] Jackdon 17 years ago

So many classics, but my favorite is:
"Allow me to quote the late great Colonel Sanders, who said, "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."

Other amazing lines.
"Its me! AMERICA!!!"
"It makes no sense, the 'Shake and Bake', its nonsense!"
"Hakuna Matata, beetches."
"You have speeled my Macchiatto."
"Break it, Pepe Le Pew!!!"
"This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons."

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[–] QueenDagger2000 18 years ago

"Hey i'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red then *beep* you." Hahaha that part gets me every time. :)

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[–] felixthekatt 18 years ago

'She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants and I never did change my pee-pants all day. I'm still sittin' in my dirty pee-pants.' 'I wet my bed until I was nineteen. There's no shame in that', 'The room's startin to spin... cause of all the gayness. Cal... I love you' and when he the guy on the bus starts ranting at him and he goes: 'I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you'

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[–] Danielle74 18 years ago

Hahaha the spider monkey thing is hilarious!! And I love that big red commercial.. that gum was on something today.. haha I love Will Ferrell!! "It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now!"

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[–] kalebscool42 18 years ago

all the commercials are great...
"We like to joke around on the race track but now we'd like to talk to you about something serious, packs of stray dogs that are controlling most of our major cities." lol

But my favorite has to be:
"I like to picture Jesus with some angel wings and singing lead vocals for Leonard Skynyrd. And I'm on the front row hammered drunk."
lol hilarious

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[–] Disco_Banes 18 years ago

the line that really convinced me that i'm defintely a ricky bobby fan was:

"me and you, man, we go together like cocaine and waffles"

excuse my english if it's flawed, i'm flemish

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[–] guox0032 18 years ago

The highlander reference is very funny.

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[–] Params7 18 years ago

Too many good lines in the movie, basically the whole movie had a line after every good 5 mins.

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[–] wolf3de 18 years ago

WIll Ferrel & Chuck Norris Rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[–] cincinnatiredgals 18 years ago

There's a GOD DAMN COUGAR IN THE CAR! hahahahahah

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[–] nopy 18 years ago

In the diner on the pool table,

"just say, i like those really thin pancakes and i wont break your arm"

Cal " He did give you a pretty decent out, but .... its your call...... nah dont say it".............SNAP

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[–] nowornever-1 18 years ago

that Wonder Bread car is toast!

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[–] Neuro-4 9 years ago

Wow! I never even caught that one! It's BRILLIANT!!

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[–] nopy 18 years ago

Commentators

Ricky Bobby has SOLD his windsheild

Yeah, that sticker is obstructive and inconvinient...but i DO love Fig Newtons !

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[–] carpediem76 18 years ago

Some of the gems were the comparisons to Asian food-eating champ and Rue
McClanahan from the GOLDEN GIRLS.

"Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. Will you be my Katie Couric, Ricky?" was
hillarious

My favorite though is the: " We want to retire to Stockholm and make currency
for cats and dogs to use!"

And the commericals were a hoot too:

"99 percent of us will probably die at some point of our lives."

"Cat blindness is a big issue today "

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[–] OutlawsDeLejos 18 years ago

"Hakuna Matata bitches!" "I watched the Highlander movie, it was sh*t!"
and probably "Come Ricky Bobby and face your destroyer, come face your destroyer? Listen to how I sound I sound like a massive prick"

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] jdogporsche 18 years ago

I like...

Ricky: With all due respect Mr. Dennitt, I had no idea you got experimental surgery to get your balls removed
Mr. Dennitt: Wait, what did you say to me?
Ricky: I said with all due respect!!

Or

Cal: When you have the stereo and the T.V. on at the same time, how do you control the volume on the T.V.?
Ricky: Why would you have the stereo and the T.V. on at the same time?
Cal: Because I like to party.

Or

Ricky: Are we about to get it on, because I'm harder than a diamond in an ice storm right now!

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[–] neomorph7 18 years ago

definately when Cal says 'WHO'S RETARDED NOW!?!' when Ricky is about the drive for the first time. Genius. Also, the whole commercial when Ricky speaks in another language. His face is hilarious.

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[–] marshall_1504 18 years ago

Let me quote the late great Colonel Sanders: "I'm too drunk... to taste this chicken."

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[–] piggycrusher 18 years ago

obviously it's gotta be "please don't be worried by the fact that i have an erection, it has nothing to do with you"

now there's a line you can say 10,000 times and it still wouldn't get old :)

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[–] furryflowers 18 years ago

Do you have the least concept of how much 10,000 is? Or are you just that dumb. You most likely are pretty dumb if you like this movie. Any movie that makes fun of Jesus is not worth watching. The media shouldn't mock Jesus it should embrace Jesus and God's love. We would all be better off in the world if everyone would just accept Jesus as their savior. When I was younger I was a rebel, I got myself into a ton of trouble, then I turned to Jesus and my life has been much more fulfilling. I am contemplating joining a convent. All of you should really sit down and instead of watching TV read the bible, then perhaps you could join me in this joyous world of peace.

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[–] ezs_plan 18 years ago

Hey...that wasn't a line from the movie! lol
But this is a good one:

"Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you,jesuz, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two beautiful, beautiful, handsome stricking sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox."

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[–] gaylensquire 18 years ago

The big red line from the movie is by far the best.

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[–] whitezombi 18 years ago

Obviously a flamer. Just ignore.

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[–] Ddey65 17 years ago

Obviously a flamer. Just ignore.

I don't think I will. In fact, I hope furryflowers is reading this. This movie doesn't make fun of Jesus. It makes fun of ignorant rednecks, who among other things misinterpret the Bible. But getting back on the subject;

Susan: "It's because it's what you love, Ricky. It is who you were born to be. And here you sit. Thinking. Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a doer, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years. And it is good. And you use it. And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky. You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?"

This tirade, and a second one like it later on is why the presence of Amy Adams made this movie a little better than you might expect.

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[–] jaimesthesaint 18 years ago

Furryflowers is gay.

In nomine patris, et filii, et spiritus sancti.

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] The_Eminator 17 years ago

furryflowers, you're mentally retarded. Go back to your swamp where your inbred parents accept you.

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[–] hawleyj2 17 years ago

furry-
before you join that convent you should stop calling people dumb, accepting Jesus as your savior doesn't make you better than people, i don't think that's the message the church is trying to convey. you aren't better than the rest of the world, don't act like it.

"Ricky, this car is your Excalibur, the sword that King Arthur used to bring together the Knights of the Round Table....that is until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his lady....in the Biblical sense."

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[–] lord_sargas93 17 years ago

I agree with you hawleyj2. furry is truly a skeeziks. However, he is probably a troll and posted one time and never comes back to read the responces. That being said, I am a legally ordained minister (only did it to be able to marry people for extra money, but as I am twice divorced I can't be cruel enough to marry people)

I think one of the best lines was when Reese was talking about the only things he had in this world. One of them was sweet, stinky weed, and his grandson says, "How much you sellin that weed for, old man?" Busted out laughing at that.

Or the idea of the cheese fountain at Cal's wedding to Ricky's ex.

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

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[–] Number_Nein 14 years ago

Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don't you put that on us! You are NOT paralyzed!

So when you say psychosomatic, you mean like he could start a fire with his thoughts?

Please be 18.

ANARCHY! ANARCHY!

No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it's not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300. Heck, I just read in the newspaper that they put a pig heart in some guy from Russia. Do you know what that means?

Do you think Ricky is passing me in my subconscious?

Ladies and Gentlemen, that is a new track record. As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting on the pole, which is a statement of fact, and is in no way a comment on the driver's sexual orientation.

Hey. I'm Ricky Bobby. When you're workin' on your mysterious lady parts and stuff, you should have the right tools too. That's why you should use... MayPax. The official tampon of NASCAR.

Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn't make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth... hell you can even be fifth.

Sorry, Lucius. Hard habit to break. Like stalking an ex-girlfriend.

Ricky Bobby: You can't have two number ones.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Yeah, 'cause that would be eleven

Texas Ranger: [complaining about doing community service] When do we get to stop doing this, Grandma?
Lucy Bobby: Well, I don't know, honey. When are you boys going to stop tossing me the radio in the bathtub?

We are urging you not to go to Tijuana.

People please don't do this at home: We are what you call professionals.

;}~ - - - Deo Gratias!!!
&
B-Rad Gluckman: Don't be hatin'
.

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[–] FIN_Hulkster 16 years ago

furryflowers, god damn you are one pathetic jesus fan.
Rofl.

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[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] meLazlo1953 11 years ago

thank you for spouting some buzz kill line of nonsense about your imaginary friend on this thread

**** --------------- ****
It's all in the reflexes!

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[–] Neuro-4 9 years ago

YOU spent time not only watching it but going online and complaining about it (I bet to more than one site) about countless other flicks to be sure. Couldn't that have been time better spent with your nose buried in Revelations?

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[–] budt3 18 years ago

I loved that erection line, it was kinda snuck in on you. It makes you feel kinda smart that you caught it.

Be yourself, everyone else is taken

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[–] youscoop 18 years ago

"I like to think of jesus with like giant eagle wings, and singing lead vocals for lynard skynard, with like, an angel band, and im in the front row and im HAMMERED drunk!"

either that or when cal is gonna kill ricky with the pillow:
"it's shadow time buddy!"

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[–] eddiesmith4 18 years ago

yeh well, we invented the missionary position...you're welcome.

'BACK OFF! This yoghurt has bits in it!'

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[–] Phobophile 18 years ago

"With all due respect.. and remember, I'm saying with all due respect, that idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin gettin it on."

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[–] keyanmk 18 years ago

Ricky :You came in and you said,
"If you ain't first, you're last."

Reese :Oh, hell, Ricky,
I was high when I said that.
That doesn't make any sense at all.
"You're first or last." You can
be second, you can be third, fourth.
Hell, you can even be fifth.

Wow, this conversation makes me laugh out of my ass!!!!

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[–] nopy 18 years ago

"you have spilt my machiato"

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[–] Dean_Bacon 18 years ago

when they're having the big conversation about crepes and pancakes:

"Regardless of how this plays out, can we go get some of those later?"

And at the dinner table:

"My contract stipulates I mention Powerade at each and every grace."

Fenton Bailey Is Coming...

search for him at www.youtube.com

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[–] JimBrown75 18 years ago

"In the words of the late great cornel sanders im too drunk to taste this chicken"

Classic

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[–] 18 years ago

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[–] kourtni_d 18 years ago

My all time favorite part was the second time Will Ferrell goes nuts and starts running around the track in his panties. You don't notice it right off but he starts to do the "windmill thing" and the other two crew members are going "You have to windmill INTO him!!"

I don't think I've laughed that hard in a while, it was priceless.

And the second best line is "Get her a coffin." It's great, he delivers it so literally, like any normal person would know that it is fitting to buy an old woman a coffin. It was hilarious!

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