Usually they have the babies in the baby ward. The child and the parents each have wrist bands so only they can take the baby out. And how can she be in a room left alone with April who cannot get out of bed, much less pick her up
shareSome hospitals don't even have nurseries ("baby rooms"). The baby is required to stay in the room with the mom just like they will in a few days at home.
shareNo matter what you go through it's better to have the baby with you. The nurses can help if you call them.
shareMy niece had her son in her room after he was born, so it is SOP in some hospitals.
๐บ๐ธ๐ฎ๐ชGoogle is your friend.๐ฎ๐ช๐บ๐ธ
When my sister had her baby he was kept in the room with her. He had a security wristband so he couldn't be taken, but other than that she had full responsibility of him from day one.
shareNurseries in hospitals are outdated, much to my regret when I had my daughter ten years ago. Having nurses take care of her would've been a dream. I had full responsibility for her from day one. Which was not so fun considering I then spent my second night with no sleep when my daughter stayed up all night long. I had sent my husband home to sleep and take care of our cats. So the next night, he got to stay up all night with her when she wouldn't sleep. Again. I'm still bitter, can you tell?
One small glimmer of light was when a kind nurse named Leslie took her away for tests and said she'd keep her until my husband got there that next morning. She also fed her beforehand so I could relax a bit. Leslie rocked!
You're bitter....because you had to take care of your child....who was a newborn....and naturally cried at night? What did you do when you brought her home? What did you do when she would wake hungry or needing a change in the middle of the night? Of course you had full responsibility from day one. You were her mother!
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"Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling."
When a woman is in the hospital in labor and subsequently giving birth, it is nice to be able to recover at all. Let's break it down, shall we? I had a really hard time sleeping when I was pregnant because I had unbearable itching for the last six weeks. By the time, I fell asleep on that Friday morning, it was 2:00 am. My water broke shortly before 6:00 am. So four hours of sleep. Off to the hospital where I was in labor all night and unable to sleep again. Every time I almost fell asleep, the epidural would cause a jolt through my body and wake me back up. My daughter was born at 5:23 am that next morning. So by this time, I had been awake for almost 24 hours-- with just the four hours the previous night. I was unable to sleep at all that entire day with everyone in and out of the room. Not to mention, it's very hard for me to sleep during the day.
And no, my daughter did not fuss every so often that night. SHE DID NOT SLEEP ONE MINUTE. I spent the entire night walking with her around the room, trying to get her to sleep. When I could barely move due to lack of sleep, lack of food since I was starved the entire time I was in labor, and pain from the delivery.
So by the next morning at 6:00 am, I had been awake for 48 hours. I was beyond exhausted. That's why it was really nice when the nurse took my daughter for her tests and kept her until my husband showed up after a tearful phone call from me. So that night, my husband stayed up with the baby who DID NOT SLEEP ONE MINUTE-- again. And after about 5 hours of sleep, I finally felt human again.
So yes, I am bitter that there was no nursery service at that hospital. I don't think that wanting a small break at night to recover from pushing a human being out of my body is too much to ask.
And now enjoy being ignored as I will absolutely love never reading your posts again.
An immature reaction by an immature person. How do all mothers in the world handle giving birth and then having to take care of their kids? They just do. I'm sorry if you thought yourself above that, but most mothers across the globe take care of their own babies the second they give birth.
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"Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling."
You sound like a douchebag.
shareI'm sorry, but I think it's very douchebag-y to be bitter that you were expected to care for your own baby right after the birth. that person is lucky they had the baby in the hospital probably in a sanitary enviornment with medication, etc. when many women do not get that luxury. for her to "whine" about having to care for her baby from the start as opposed to passing the infant off on a nurse is appalling to me. Babies cry. Mothers go nights on end without sleep. It's just what happens when you have a baby. Many women cannot have babies and would give ANYTHING for the blessing to be able to have their own baby and care for their own baby from the instant the child is birthed into the world. That someone would actually claim to be bitter at having to do so is appalling to me.
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There's always someone who has it worse than you. That doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to have feelings about your own circumstances. So she was sleep deprived and frustrated after popping out her kid. So what? Childbirth isn't always sunshine and rainbows for everyone. Some people suffer from postpartum depression or have other issues. You don't know that person or how she actually is as a mother. You being all judgmental about her feeling "bitter" serves no purpose other than to make you feel superior.
shareI'm sorry but it's just astounding to me that even to this day the poster claims to be bitter about that night. How anyone can express bitterness on the night of their child's birth simply because the baby cried and she had to soothe the baby is beyond me. And THAT to me is what is selfish - bringing a baby into the world and claiming the word "bitter" in regards to how she felt upon having to care for that baby right from the go. Most hospitals do not have nurseries. Many women have to soothe their babies from the start. The fact that she felt somehow above this is what is superior.
Babies cry at night. Parents go weeks on end at times with just few sporadic hours of sleep because their babies were colic-y or ill. But I have never once heard a woman describe feeling "bitter" about it. It's just a part of what to expect once you become a parent - that the baby will cry and your life will have to be put on pause to care for said baby.
If you aren't prepared to take care of the baby when they cry their first night of being in this world, how are you going to be prepared for all the other sacrifices of sleepless nights and stress? You can be tired, you can be frustrated. Of course you can be. The thing that is really getting to me is her use of the word "bitter."
I just cannot fathom using the word "bitter" to describe your emotion of your child's first night in this world. That is what is making me upset.
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Who are you to judge her situation?
sharea woman who cannot physically give birth to children and who is nauseated at the thought that someone would use the word "bitter" to describe having to care for their own child moments after having given birth. again, it comes down to her word choice. she could have said it made her frustrated, that it made her exhausted, etc. but to use "bitter" to describe having to care for her own baby is just appalling to me. i don't know how much i have to say that. it's somewhere akin to hearing women in the workforce complain about their children taking their time away from them and hearing women say "I cannot wait to dump the kids off at grandma's for the weekend so we can go out and party!" To me, your kids should come first and foremost. While having breaks and doing things for yourself is good, again it all comes down to word choice. Complaining and using the words "dump the kids off" just makes me very uncomfortable. Babies/kids do not ask to be born into this world. You are the one to bring them into it so in my mind, it's kind of a "how dare you" complain about your child's existence when that existence is not something they can control.
It's just a personal issue I take with things like this. i'm sorry if i'm a bit heated about it, it's just something that really gets to me.
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You can not possibly know how she feels in that situation just as she can not possibly know you you feel in your situation. I am sorry for your situation but people deal with things in their own way, and not every mother feels a bond immediately after giving birth. People process things differently. "Bitter" and "Dumped" are just words, and not everyone uses the same word at the same degree.
shareThat is very true.
I come from a very big family. One of my aunts is not careful in her word choice and some of her kids are fine when she jokes about them being her "ball and chain" and that they are an annoyance to her sometimes. However, one daughter of hers does get affected by her words and it's very clear to see that. I guess I just pick up on it because I know that words like that can be hurtful to children to hear and I hope that poster won't tell her own child one day how "bitter" she was.
But like I said, some people can say words without them having any hurtful meaning behind them. Some people can hear those things and brush them off, and others can be hurt by them. I guess I just try to be careful in what I say. I've seen far too many instances of people say things like this and to me - given my circumstances -it makes it sound like they don't know how blessed they are. I guess it just all comes down to how people precieve things and what their circumstances are that lead them to precieve things certain ways.
I do apologize if I was out of line at all. Again, it's just something I get a bit worked up about. But I'm assuming that we are all adults here and hope that in my being adult enough to recognize my words may have been a bit without merit, then you and the poster can be adult enough to accept my recognition of that as well as my apology. Like I said, it call comes down to circumstances. I do not know her circumstances and she did not know mine. My circumstances lead me to be a bit more on guard about words like that being used in reference to children.
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What's appalling to me is the way you just shamed that lady. I'm sorry you cannot have children, but just because you "have it worse" than she does, it doesn't make her feelings any less valid. I think that you read way too much into her word choice, maybe because of your personal situation. People that treat mothers that way you just did are the reason a lot of mothers won't ask for help even when they need it until it's too late and they've developed postpartum depression or worse. They feel like if they admit they need help it makes them a failure or a bad mother.
"It takes a village" is a real thing. There are very few cultures outside of the US (I can't think of any) in which a mother is expected to take care of her baby by herself from day one. Even in places where hospitals/nurses aren't a thing, family and friends will come around to help. Grandmothers will literally plan to stay with the new mom for weeks on end to show her the ropes. At the end of the day, a rested mom is better for baby than an exhausted and frustrated mom, even if it means someone else holds baby for a while so mom can sleep.
What the hell is a Stiles?
Again, her feelings are valid. Her word choice was what was sickening to me. Just the thought of someone being bitter upon the birth of their child is shocking to me. But again, I went into detail about my feelings of it and why it is such a personal thing for me. What you're doing is continuing on this discussion which seemed to have come to a close already, invaliding MY experiences and why I felt the way I did.
Again, it comes down to the word bitter. Bitter equates to feelings of disdain, disgust, hatred, etc. and to think she felt that way towards her infant that had no choice in the matter and naturally cried upon being born, etc. really broke my heart.
Hopefully "bitter" is not the word she meant to use. If so, I do still hold true to my original feelings and feel sorry for her child - that a mother would dare use a word such as "bitter" (ie: disgust, hate, disdain) to discribe the birth of her child.
I apologized if I came across as harsh or overstepped. I said that it all comes down to circumstance. You hashing this out, etc. after my previous message is you invaliding MY feelings based on my circumstances.
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You can feel however you want, you can't help that. I even said that I can see how under your personal circumstances you could take things the wrong way. But in trying to justify yourself you continue to imply that because she used the word "bitter" it makes her some sort of bad person/bad mother. That is what I have a problem with and is upsetting to me. You can have your feelings and even explain them without putting her down.
Bitter: angry, hurt, or resentful because of one's bad experiences or a sense of unjust treatment. Bitter does NOT equal disgust or hatred. Not to mention, she did not use "bitter" to describe her child's birth, nor did she say she felt bitterness towards her infant. She was bitter about the fact that her experience AFTER the birth was less than ideal, and she was exhausted and having a tough time feeling all alone. Would I use the word bitter to describe my time after my child's birth? No, but I was also not in her situation. My child slept four hours straight the night after she was born and my husband was there the whole time. Had things been different maybe I would have felt differently. You can't compare her to other mothers. Everyone feels and experiences things differently. Especially in the hormonal and emotional time after birth.
If you no longer wish to "hash this out" you are free to leave. But this is a public forum and as a fellow mom I really felt I had to defend that woman. I hope she sees some of these comments defending her and realizes that she has people on her side and she is not some sort of terrible mom whose child needs to pitied.
What the hell is a Stiles?
If you follow these boards too much you will learn that that poster is quite a judgmental poster on many threads
shareUmmmmm, All mothers need help and rest the first few days. They often need help from friends and family when they take the baby home as well. Clearly, since you can not have this experience you have no right to have an opinion on such matters in which you have zero experience. Giving birth is beyond exhausting and can also be life-threatening, There is also post pardom bleeding if the mother gets up out of bed too soon and too often. What gives you any right to criticize a woman with less than a day or 2 of sleep the right to need to get some sleep and some rest? Why don't you take your barren womb and give birth to a baby and start taking care of it right away with zero sleep what so ever and then come tell us you are Miss superwoman mother of the year that you can be the first human on earth to ever raise a baby with next to no sleep at all! You obviously are nothing more than a TROLL!
๎By solesister - "Get thee to a nunnery!"๎
clearly you are of three things. 1. A guy who can never have a baby but loves to spout off expertise on the subject. 2. a snot nosed kid who has never had a baby. Karma is a bitch. 3. a troll. Yes we all know women have been giving birth in fields all by themselves since the beginning of time..blah blah blah. Many of those women died. Women "across the globe" often have a large female support system, one that helps with baby and caring for the mother". We do not. We as females do not support one another but expect ridiculous standards. Rest for a new mother is essential. The body goes through tremendous change after giving birth. Oh and before you spout off again, I know. I have had babies and I'm an RN who worked in L&D. So stfu.
shareI have stated my circumstance. It appears though however YOU are the ones that are the trolls considering last night I was talking with my good friend who is a mother and she too was shocked as well that a mother could use such hateful language about her child's birth.
Rest for a new mother is important. No one is questioning that. Her use of the word bitter at having to care for her daughter - when it's been said on this thread that the nurseries are an outdated thing and literally probably a good 80% of new mothers have the same experience she did but don't use "bitter" to describe it is what I am questioning.
And I highly doubt someone who's as professional as you claim would use "stfu" on a message board like a twelve year old.
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They did the first season of GA, when Meredith and George went to see the newborns to cheer them up
shareOoh I remember that! Maybe they do have a nursery and April requested the baby stay in her room? My mom requested that for me, and the hospital complied and all my aunts who have had children have also insisted that the babies stay in their rooms so that the bonding, etc. starts right away.
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That was 10 or 12 years ago. As I said below, hospitals have been moving away from that - particularly overnight- for about the last decade. The hospital where I had my three kids just built a new women'/ center four years ago and they didn't even build a nursery. However, the old women's center had one but they strongly discouraged its use unless the mother was taking a shower or something and nobody was in the room to watch the child. Now, our hospital has the cribs (I call them that but they're really plastic tubs) on wheels and they expect you to just wheel the baby into the bathroom with you. Rooming-in with the baby is really was pushed across the US now. I can't speak for other countries.
shareThe rolling plastic cribs are I think the norm now. And I think it has to do with more and more push in regards to bonding. When I was young, women never used to hose papoose things. Now every mother seems to have one. It's good, in my opinion. Every first few moments, days, weeks, months, etc. are so, so critical.
This is going to be a little off topic but back in the Industrial Revolution times, mothers would leave their infants swaddled on their mats completely alone while they went to work horribly long shifts to provide for their families. It was that era that first really started the idea that giving a baby or child love and affection would spoil them. When you think about it, that era wasn't all that long ago and now we've moved so far from that and study infant and child development and the importance of bonding with the mother.
I think if hospitals still have nurseries, they will be a thing of the past very soon - especially now that there are those plastic cribs on wheels. We know now that it's so important for the mother and baby to be together and bond right from the start. And if the mother does need help, she can always press her little red button and have a nurse come assist her.
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No. they don't. That's an antiquated system that hospitals have slowly been moving away from for the last decade. I have three children and other than my twins, who had to spend two weeks in the nicu bc they were premature, my son stayed in my room. In fact, my hospital doesn't even have a nursery anymore- unless your child is in nicu, they're in your room. Most hospitals across the country have moved away from separation mom and child and those hospitals that still allow it frown upon sending your baby there overnight.
Backing up everyone else who said a lot of hospitals don't do that anymore. I had a baby last year and the hospital actually encouraged "rooming-in", or keeping the baby with you, to facilitate bonding, establish nursing, etc. My baby was with either me or my husband 100% of the time. We still had wristbands that prevented my baby from being taken past the nurses station until we were signed out to go home. As far as I know my hospital didn't even really have a nursery, they would only separate mom and baby if they had to, like if baby needed to be in the NICU or mom was having complications that prevented her from caring for baby at all. Just because April couldn't stand up doesn't mean she can't take care of her baby, all she would have to do is call for a nurse or have Jackson help her out.
What the hell is a Stiles?