Sara Ramirez

No such thing as bisexual.

Sara has chosen to come out publicly and to tell her truth. Good for her that she felt comfortable and safe enough to do so, especially to help the youth who go through so much because they decide to do so.

Sadly many times at great risk of being kicked out of their homes, of being placed into "therapies" and "camps" to "cure" them. Think of all of the issues that kids in the LGBTQAI communities face (especially if they're Latino/Latina, Immigrant, African American, from more conservative religions and cultures) and those issues are not because they're LGBTQA, they’re because of the negative and hurtful comments that they read on the internet (including places like this) and hear on a daily basis. Imagine what those things do to them emotionally and psychologically.

Look at the statistics of the LGBTQAI communities, especially the youth. 40% of homeless youth identify as being LGBTQ. The higher risks of depression, the anxiety, eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, self harm, suicide attempts, and suicide.

People are born Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Asexual., and Intersex These sexualities, sexual identities, and expressions are not a choice, and they most certainly not made up. Some know when they're little, some know when they're older, and some don’t know what it is that they're thinking and feeling until they have a name for it, and once they get a name for it, some might not know what to do with that name and what that exactly means, be too afraid to admit, to embrace it, to come out because of their family, their friends, their communities... because they're afraid of what might happen to them. Some might be sent to "therapy" to change them, some might be kicked out of their homes and rejected by their family, their friends, and their communities.

To say that LGBTQAI are made up, that they're choices, are wrong. These things are very real and they need support form the non LGBTQAI community. They don't need judgment. They don't need to be told that they just want to “eat fish on the side”, dress up or that they cheat on their spouses or that they chose to be.

Sara is now living her truth. To say something like, “That she’s doing it now to keep herself relevant because she’s not on Grey’s anymore to keep herself relevant” or “She’s married to a guy, so I’m not buying it” or “because she’s married to a guy it doesn’t matter if she’s into chicks or not”.

Maybe this is new for her. Maybe she's known for years, maybe not. Maybe her family, husband, friends, and maybe some cast mates knew, maybe she didn't come out publicly sooner because she felt that might have been too close to her character (a part of Callie that she suggested to Shondra and Betsy), and didn't think that it was appropriate to come out while she was on the show.

It is not our place to judge or speculate or make comments like “how convenient that she comes out that she’s no longer on the show”. Maybe her suggesting Callie be Bi was part of her journey, maybe it was the first step of her journey. Maybe she kept this to herself for years. Maybe she felt this was the right time to do so.

Sexuality, Gender identity, and expression is a journey, a process, and like for everyone else, it's hers to take. Maybe it took her until now to feel comfortable enough, safe enough, and she thought that where and when she came out would be the perfect time to do so. (If you saw the video, look at the smile that she gave when she mentioned “Queer” and “Bisexual”, she looked so happy and so free. It must have been so liberating and freeing for her.)

We should not judge her and say things like: "It doesn't exist", "It's a choice", “because she’s married, I don’t by it”, and assume that this means that she doesn’t love her husband or cheats on him or that he allows her to do so. Just because she's out as Queer and Bi, and married to a man, that does not mean that she is a cheater or that he allows her to do so. There is more to sexual identity and expression than just the physical act, there's the emotional part as well. Maybe she and her husband are working on this together in private... maybe they have an open marriage, but again what she does in her private life and how she lives her private life, especially with her husband, is not our business.

Here are some definitions for you, in case you don't know or are confused:

From Wikipedia, Queer is defined as: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer

From Wikipedia, Bisexuality is defined as:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality

From Wikipedia, Transgendered is defined as:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender

From Wikipedia, homosexuality is defined as:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality

From Wikipedia, Lesbian is defined as:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian

From Wikipedia, Asexual is defined as:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

From Wikipedia, Intersex is defined as:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersex

And for those of you who haven’t seen the video from True Colors Fund, 40 to None Summit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPzogvmQLDw

I applaud Sara for her bravery to come out and so she can live her truth and live her authentic life as she defines it. This is her life and it is hers alone to live. We might hear more about her journey, but maybe not. That's up to her. Who knows how many lives, whether they're straight or part of the LGBTQA communities, that she'll touch, help, and save, especially with the organization that she is working with.

Personally I think being gay and being bi-sexual are very different things. Even though there is one supposed community of LGBTQI, there is still a fair bit of division between them.

I know quite a few married women that are bi-sexual, but they don't have to live the lifestyle. If they walk down the street holding hands with their husband, who is going to even know one of them was bi? If a woman holds hands with her girlfriend and walks down the street holding hands people will automatically assume they're lesbians. How many bi-sexual women actually end up with a woman? Honestly, I wish I was bi because then it would be a hell of a lot easier to just fall in love with a man and get married and have kids. As it is same sex marriage is illegal where I live and it's a hell of a lot harder to have children.

I don't have a problem with Sara Ramirez coming out as bi, I just think is it really something that will have any impact on her life?

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