I realise that this is many years after your original post, but I am going to aim for a reply anyway....
First of all, i *DO* commend you for asking these questions and wanting to know better. I am a gay guy, and once upon a time I "didn't get it" either. I always thought "If you're gay, and want to be with a guy, why would you want to turn yourself into a girl? The men who found you attractive as a man would not find you attractive as a girl anymore!"
(and vice versa for those who are born women but become men)
What you need to know, and realise is, is that who YOU ARE and who you are ATTRACTED TO are completely different things. Have you ever noticed that we don't have sexual feelings for anyone at all, whether we are gay, straight or bi, until we hit puberty? Which is usually the ages of 10 and up (some start early, some start later....)
Well, we just *KNOW* that we are boys and girls LONG before that. Me and you, we've always known we were boys. And girls just always know that they are girls, right? This is what we know as our gender... it is what gender we realise we are. It's easier for us because we are what we look like. With Trans people, it's exactly the same... at the age of 2 or 3, we just start doing things that we like and want to do - "boyish" or "girly" things. Only sometimes it is a person who is biologically a girl who takes on all boy things, and realises that they are, and feel like they are and always meant to be a boy --- and in the same way, a person who is biologically a boy comes to realise that they are female, and feel like that's the way it's always meant to be. Trans people often feel like they were born with the wrong set of genitals and wonder why they have to endure what they have been given and be raised and treated in ways that they don't identify with (although their parents/people raising them usually don't know this until much later in a kids life).
THIS IS LONG BEFORE THEY (OR WE) ARE EVER EVEN ATTRACTED TO SOMEBODY.
(it is also completely different to a girl who is simply just a tomboy or a boy who feminine but still feels like, and would say he is, a boy)
In fact, once we start becomeing attracted to people, our lives just become confusing. Yes, yours and mine, but most especially trans kids who start having feelings for someone. You see, a kid who was born male (and essentially is male in all respects, male at this point) yet has thought of themselves to be a girl, would feel straight and normal when they have feelings for another boy.
And at some points in their life now, they will become confused, and think maybe they are just a boy, and that they are not a girl as they always felt they were, and think "maybe I'm just a gay boy instead" (and also always vice versa for the girls as well) so they go through a phase of questioning both what gender they are, AND what gender they are (or are meant) to be attracted to.
Usually it's long after a person's high school years, and first loves (or first crushes) are long over when they realise that they are, still, after all this time, the gender that they always thought they were. Just put all questions about WHO YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO aside, and ask youself - who are you? Do you feel like a man? Or do you feel like a woman? Do you feel like you are right now, as you were always meant to be?
That's what it comes down to. It's got nothing to do with attraction. If Bree were a real person from this movie, she would tell you she is nothing but a straight woman. She may not necessarily be straight, because that can change when you grow up in a world were you have to ask yourself constantly all these hard questions, but most trans people see themselves as straight. The act of being with someone of your "opposite gender" before surgery would technically look like, and be literally be a case of two people with the same genitals "being together" but to them, inside their head, it would be "straight sex". Sure, it clearly isn't - but it's all they have to work with AT THIS POINT (when they are pre-op).
That why they do want the operation.
HOWEVER ----- your very original question - why is it so important to undergo surgery, is a good question too. The whole point of Bree having a therapist who needs to okay Bree's surgery before she has is, is to make sure she really wants, and needs to have surgery. There are some trans people, who eventually decide *beep* IT!" and say that IT'S GOOD ENOUGH for them to simply identify with being a woman or a man, and transform the rest of themselves to whatever extent that they want to, without having to go that final step and get corrective surgery, as it's called. It's called corrective surgery because the surgeons correct trans people up to be the gender on the outside as they have always felt that they are on the inside. Some trans people realise, with counselling, that they don't want to go all the way and get something done that they may regret later.
_____________________
I say all of this from what I know from many long conversations in the past with two trans friends that I have (both guys, their names are Giles and Ed) which makes me know what I know now. I don't mean to speak for any of the trans people here, but I hope what I do say is quite true of all of them and they feel this accurately, or as accurately as I can possibly put it, answers your question. They too had to have AT LEAST TWO YEARS of extensive counselling and therapy sessions to make sure that they really are ready to have these quite major surgeries done. They do this to make sure that the patients really want it, and they don't accidentally give an operation to someone who just decided overnight that they wanted it done (and apparently these sessions were conducted with always 2 psychologists/therapists in the room at once). After the two years was up for Giles, the psychologists were convinced that he was doing it for the right reasons, and was ready for the surgery, so they approved him getting a mastectomy (removal of his boobs). After this, he was able to legally change his gender on his birth certificate and other legal documents (he hasn't had any work done downstairs yet) and go on to marry his girlfriend (now his wife). That's the system in Australia... I can't speak for anywhere else.
reply
share