100 things I learned from D.O.A.

12) when there's only three minutes left until the "Island" blows up, beat the *beep* out of the conman until the last second.

13) landing hard on a raft will send a girl flying..

There are few things fetching as bruised ego on a beautiful angel.

14. As a male when you enter D.O.A it is absolutely necessary to wear an outfit which normaly would only be used at Halloween.

15. Being repeatedly kicked and hit in the face will not result in any visible injuries or bruises.

16. Female fighting champions fight best wearing little or nothing at all.

17. Ugly female fighting champions DO NOT excist.

18.) Everything in visible sight has the material consistency of a spring loaded floor board. So anything that bounces off of anything else is going to be thrusted to an abnormally elevated height.

I watched it again just to make sure, but if those pirates were Filipino, they were speaking a Filipino language/dialect that I didn't recognize ... not that I can recognize all the languages and dialects of the Philippines, but I digress.

Not that I don't see anything wrong with having Filipino pirates, but what made you think they were?

56. Although it is called 'Dead of Alive' - for heavens sake, dont kill anyone!

57. A trained roller disco ninja chick can kill 20 ninjas without spilling a single drop of blood to the floor or on the blade.

58. Chicks allways win against men.

59. People would really pay loads of money and invest in the fabrication of a new over-the-top fighting style instead of just buying a gun.

60. Everyone knows how to parachute. Of course everyone knows how to land as well, even the old Kung-Fu Guru who probably saw a plane for the first time in his life.

61. It is possible to put on a bra by tossing it into the air and doing spectacularly sexy moves. (How can one get his girlfriend to do this? ;) )

62. You can produce a martial arts-/fighting- movie without a plot (which I didn't expect anyway), no reasonably acceptable acting (well, I didn't count on that one either) but most important: Without any martial arts and fight scenes which are worse than what I come across in kindergarden and primary school. What remains? Tits, correct.

151. Apparently my Sony mp3 player doubles as a super awesome spy camera that takes pictures from the headphone jack.

-
"Hey, what was that big bang?"

166. If you want the CIA to show up at your location, all you have to do is drop them an e-mail.

167. Thin blonde white girls with little to no muscle tone will always be able to beat up well trained Asian henchmen and black men almost twice their size.

168. Getting beat up by one of the said blonde girls and having a terrible green haircut will not get you laid.

169. Setting your self-destruct countdown to only 3 minutes is never a good idea.

170. 3 minutes is actually almost 5 minutes long in movie time.

171. Building your evil island fortress on the side of a mountain is never a good idea.

172. Going through the trouble to set up an elaborate competition like DOA just so you can sell advanced technology to peoples doesn't make sense when you can afford to build an expensive island fortress and advanced nano computers that would bankrupt most billionaires.

173. Doing complex fighting moves in tight jeans will not restrict your legs.

174. Eric Roberts's stunt double had more screentime than Eric Roberts.

Make a movie at http://www.virtual-hollywood.com

1) Kevin Nash always takes Hulk Hogans left overs since in the game Bass is so obviously based on Hulk Hogan.


2 scantily clad women will always help sell and give appeal to both movies and games.


3) people always expect movies based on games to be exactly like the game even when the game has no real script (like the DOA game)

4) Eric Roberts always plays every character in exactly the same way .

5) movie makers always seem to adapt only lesser or lightweight games into movies while leaving games that seem ripe to be turned into movies (gta for example) alone.