Guys Who Cover For Their Friends

I am a guy. I would probably cover for a friend.

So I can explain why I would.

It is simply not my place to ruin a relationship. I may tell my friend that he should stop, i may tell him that he needs to tell his significant what is going on.

But I would still cover. This is a friend of mine and it's not place to let his signigicant in on his secrets.

I am not saying this is the right thing to do, just offering my perspective.

im a 20 year old guy and i wouldnt "cover" for anyone if it meant lying.

i have a friend who cheats on his girlfriend and thinks its just an okay thing to do, whenever he asks me what i think i tell him i condem it and ive told him i wouldnt lie in the past, thats the thing...when yo have friends you gotta let them know where you stand on things and be consistant. now if his girlfriend straight up asks me i probably wouldnt even respond to her. im nto going to go out of my way to get into other peoples business, its not my place to enlighten her.

Going out of your way to rat out on your friend is like giving money to the homeless.

sure its a nice thing to do, and will probably improve your karma and make you feel a little bit better in your self knowing you got that bum drunk tonight but youre not obligued to do it and it doesnt make you a bad guy if you dont.

but if you lie, that makes you a bad guy. and thats where people trip up cause they get intimidated by female conversational TRAPS cause women are psychotic like that. they corner guys into answering *beep* and the guy feels like he either has to tell her or itll be obvious what the answer is...this is just because the guy is dumb for allowing him self to get into this posisition. and thats the thing....cheating on someone is deception, and that is wrong, and if you decieve someone else to allow that deception that makes you wrong.

so if youre going to cheat on someone dont tell your stupid friends.

i am one of those guys. My best friend of over 10 years is cheating on his girlfriend, and sometimes if she can't find him she'll call me and i'll lie to her. It's even worse when i have to look her in the eye and lie about where my friend was when she was looking 4 him. I constantly tell him to stop cheating but he never will listen. It hurts so much lying 2 her because she's a cool chick and sexy as hell, and the other girl isn't as hot. Does this make me a horrible person?

I don't know how often Fritz saw Gray while Grady was alive. They were obviously NOT close, so I don't know about him "covering" for Grady when he was alive.

That being said, I really thought he told her it was a "one time thing" to protect her. I mean, if you think you could possibly save someone some additional hurt, why not? If I'd just lost my fiance, I don't know that I'd EVER want to know he'd been cheating, because how do you ever reconcile or get closure? You could never fight, break up, make-up, NOTHING. Never an explanation! So why go through that???

So, IMO when the "cheater" is DEAD, maybe the rules change a bit.





"The guitar is fine as a hobby, John, but you'll never make a living at it."

I would deffinitely cover for a friend no matter what, that's what a true friend does. A true friend won't just go out partying with you, they'll be right there in the jail cell with you laughing about it the next morning.

The other thing is that no one wants to beleive they're being deceived, so they may not even beleive you. I had a buddy that was dating a hideous woman and he really didn't know it. I couldn't say anything to him about it til he broke up with the ogre, then i told him how we made fun of him for it.

If you were neck deep in a pool of vomit and a guy had a steaming bag of monkey crap in his pitching hand aimed at your face, would you duck? It's a no win situation for the one stuck in the middle keeping the secret.

That being said, should a friend rat out their cheating friend to protect the feelings of their friends partner, no exceptions or excuses? To the victims being cheated on who feel this is the only correct thing to do, don't be so selfish. What makes you so special? Every situation is different and I would never rat out a buddy just because it's the moral thing to do, or whatever. That's a surefire way to lose a buddy. Nobody wins and suddenly I become the guy nobody can count on, left with no friends because I couldn't keep my mouth shut and mind my own business. To hell with that noise.

Now, say I'm friends with both the cheater and the victim equally. This is a sticky situation. It's also none of my flippin business. But since I'm aware of the situation like it or not, suddenly I'm stuck in the middle. In that case, I make it clear to the cheater that I want no part of it. Either he tells her, I tell her, or he gets his act together immediately because it's not fair to anybody, me included. Wait for a reaction... If he can't agree to that, then to hell with him, he was warned. Should have kept it in his pants and chose not to hurt friend number two, the victim. But even then, I stay out of it as long as I possibly can, because really, it's none of my flippin business.

In the case of this movie, it seems to me that originally Fritz and Gray didn't really get along anyways, whereas Fritz and Gravy were close. Naturally Fritz isn't gonna rat out Gravy, that would be stupid. But as time went on and he got to know Gray better, see her side of things and get close with her, you see he does fill her in on the situation more. So even his critics can't say he's that bad of a guy. But then again, he's banging his dead friends fiancee, but that's a discussion for another thread.

i was cheated on by my brother's best friend/roommate. my BROTHER covered for him for a while before he felt he had to tell me.

i never blamed my brother for not telling me right away. i understood it. at first i was really hurt that he hadn't told me sooner but was happy he told me at all. but keep in mind this was my OWN BROTHER!! and he didn't want to tell me. i can understand why the gradie's friend would not want to tell her. it wasn't his place...and besides, gradie was the one who did the cheating, not fritz.

maybe that's all family really is; a group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

This subject doesn't just apply to guys covering for their friends, it's for girls, too. My loyalty is to my friend, and especially, as was the case in this movie, my BEST friend. I might think it's completely uncool if she's cheating on her boyfriend/fiance', and I would tell her so, but it's not up to me to tell the guy, I'm HER best friend. That's what makes someone a best friend, that you can be your real, true self, warts and all around this person, tell them your darkest secrets, and they will still love you and have your back.

I completely disagree with the notion that Fritz had any obligation to tell Gray about her fiance cheating. I also think it was perfectly fine that he told her when she found out on her own...a)the guy was dead and b) she asked him directly about the affair. I also understand why he told her it was just the one time...he liked her, she's a decent person, and he thought maybe it would lessen the hurt just a little if she didn't know the fiance had been cheating on her for years. It was the decent thing to do. I wouldn't want to be the one being lied to, but I understand the motivation for it.

You are seeing this situation only through the eyes of the offended party, thinking somehow everyone around you and the "cheater" has a moral obligation to "rat out" and/or to stop the cheating, because cheating is wrong...all black, all white, no (if you'll pardon the pun) gray. I would submit to you that there is also a moral obligation to a friend, especially to a friend. That loyalty is as valuable in a friendship as fidelity is in a relationship.

Say your fiance's best friend asked your fiance for a job recommendation, so he could get a position in the same company. Your fiance told his friend he'd do it, no problem. But your fiance told YOU that he wasn't going to recommend his friend for the job because he really thinks the dude is a *beep* up at work and he doesn't want to ruin his reputation with his boss. Are YOU obligated now to go to the friend and tell him what's really going on? What if the friend later wonders out loud to you why he didn't get the job? Do you tell him then that his "best friend" betrayed him? Or is your loyalty to your fiance?

Not everything is so black and white, and it's just naive to believe it is. A friend who decides he or she is the moral arbiter of your life, and who then feels they are justified in meddling, ruining your relationships, and/or ratting you out isn't really a friend at all. It's like having with your own personal Joseph McCarthy. No thanks. Your friend is cheating and you find it morally repugnant, tell your friend what your opinion and that you think he or she should stop and/or come clean with their mate. If they don't and your sense of right and wrong is so offended you can't tolerate the situation, then stop seeing your friend. But it just isn't your place to go running to the S.O. like a little tattle tale.