I didn't particularly care for this movie, but there were some lines that had me laughing hystarically. Unfortunately, all I can seem to remember is when Steve Zahn bangs that stripper while describing chemical changes in the brain. Can anyone help me out with some others?
shareWhoa! We got a lady on fire!
uhh, running just feeds the flames.
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Whisper, do you have a boyfriend?
Yeah.
What would you do if he was having sex with another girl?
Play with her tits.
Are you smoking crack?
No, not right now. Why do I sound all over the place?
.....
"I am not one judges books by their cover, unless their cover says, "The man next to me, just sh*t himself."
.....
"HOW MUCH OF HER KOOL-AIDE DID YOU DRINK?!"
.....
"Hey man are you writing a book about my dick? No? Then stop starring at it!"
Right after this line - "I am not one judges books by their cover, unless their cover says, "The man next to me, just sh*t himself." "
"Buddha once said that life is an illusion. If one realizes that life is an illusion, I guess that makes sitting in one's sh!t more bearable"
Didn't really find this movie a great work, but that "play with her tits" was one of the greatest "come out of nowhere" line I've ever heard.
Cheers.
The dentist to Zahn's character, something like, "Are you a cartoon? Does someone come to your house every morning and draw you on an easel?!"
"You wanna go again? It gets better."
"Better than a homicide on Christmas? I don't think so."
"How come you didn't invite me?"
"I didn't think you'd come."
"I wouldn't have."
"So why are you here?"
"You didn't invite me!"
"He sucks dicks! You're gonna give me *beep* about a couple of beers?!"
"I'm not much for the sushi but [...] I'd slurp saki out of her ass in front of my grandmother."
"WHAT? She's the one with the booze jones!"
SPOILER....
The fat coroner punching Wyatt's body saying "Bugsy! Bugsy! Bugsy! Bugsy! Bugsy! Bugsy!" So wrong, but hilarious.
Oh hey Bill. Good Morning. I was just, uhh, pissing on your grandfather.
shareThat line is the best:
"It's Nature's way of getting chicks addicted to their own sn*tch-smack!" I and my girlfriend laughed for about ten minutes straight.
I'f a girl comes she wants to redecorate the goddamn livingroom
or
fat guy: i'm going to make that girl real pretty
Jack: NO THAT'S NOT WEIRD AT ALL!
hey.. u posted this qoute about Employee of the month like two years ago but i was just looking at and its exactly the part of the movie that i was interested in. do u know what Jack says about love. something like...."love is like big foot. its a myth..." and he goes on about it. do u know the rest of it??
shareThe best ones were already taken, but I giggled when I heard matt dillon say "T!ts on a taco, its hot out there"
-R
"F_CK-A-DOODLE-DOO"--Shaun of the Dead
You just gave a dead womans bracelet to an eighteen year old stripper who's gonna *beep* you in the parking lot while you snort crank off of a hunting knife.
shareWhen Matt Dillon comes out of the motel room the next morning... "Damn, Whisper stole my car! I guess I did get *beep*
“All of these moments will be lost in time...like tears in the rain” Blade Runner
Alas the best lines really are taken, but I also loved Steve Z's character saying that he didn't want to sit naked in the sauna "where half of LA's ass cracks have been basting."
At the very beginning of the movie, there is a radio clip. The announcer says "It's as hot as a bowl of F--- out there." It makes no sense, but still funny as hell.