MovieChat Forums > Capturing the Friedmans (2003) Discussion > Elaine Friedman

Elaine Friedman

posted 21 years ago by sunnygirl10901
64 replies | jump to latest

I think Elaine was a very sympathetic character. Her husband was passive-aggressive and she was a scapegoat. He was more of a pal (ahem) than a father and you wonder how these boys were really tied to him. She couldn't win. I felt so bad for her. She was made to feel she wasn't part of the boys' club. Her only mistake was marrying a man who was totally wrong for her and he was totally wrong to be anyone's husband. If he was young today, he would've lived his life as an openly gay man. He was in a completely dysfunctional relationship with his mother and brother and saw things as a child that changed him forever. Poor Elaine is the real victim here though. She chose the wrong man and it made her so angry, she alienated everyone around her. In turn, she was hated. She just wanted to be a mother.
She stayed with Arnold because of the children, plain and simple.
She was freed once he and Jesse went to jail. Jesse was a victim too, but that's another story.
I'm so glad she found a healthy relationship with a man she could love and she could be loved properly in return.

[–] stagebandman 14 years ago

Here is a woman who cannot be happy. She talks about how her father abandoned her. She never had a good relationship with Arnold. Why would she be so ready to believe these things about her own husband? I don't think she's very intelligent, and am surprised who easily she seemed to believe the charges. She could not interact with males, whether they were her father, sons or her husband. She wants only to be absolved of any blame. She wants to make sure that absolutely nothing points to her. I have a very, very hard time believing a lot of what she says.

As for the "witnesses" in the film, I find them extremely unbelievable and inconsistent, along with Jesse's lawyer. I think they were both railroaded. I believe Arnold felt he deserved his punishment for his deep down feelings, and I think Jesse was completely innocent. Absolutely no proof. Their mother threw her family to the wolves. I don't see how anyone could possibly sympathize with her.

I think it's very easy for a community to believe the worst about someone. What happened to this family could easily happen to many of us, and that is a very scary thought. Kids talk to each other. Parents start making things up, often telling their children what happened to them - whether it's true or not. I've seen teachers who were guilty of stepping over the line, and I've seen teachers who were falsely accused. Either way, it can ruin your career and your life. Eventually, the truth comes out, but too often it is much too late for the innocent person.

If we all liked the same movie, there'd only be one movie!

[–] Doge_Urbino 14 years ago

People will project their own adversarial relationships in their own family structure onto these people, which to me signifies that we'll always get different readings off of this family. The one who mentioned the facial characteristics was very insightful, although I think I find her to be generally sympathetic even if I don't approve of her detached nature. I think their children are really disrespectful, that goes a long way if you're the domestic slave of a boys club who don't acknowledge your presence or voice.

I feel like perhaps in my own family we were much more detached but when it came to showing respect or being decent people its there. They were being raised by a serial pedophile who wanted to be their best friend and molest them at the same time. What do you think that would do to the family dynamic? How is it that people criticize this lady, who is no saint granted, but this guy isn't being condemned up and down for being so impossibly perverse?

[–] whistal 14 years ago

I think their children are really disrespectful, that goes a long way if you're the domestic slave of a boys club who don't acknowledge your presence or voice.

I feel like perhaps in my own family we were much more detached but when it came to showing respect or being decent people its there. They were being raised by a serial pedophile who wanted to be their best friend and molest them at the same time. What do you think that would do to the family dynamic? How is it that people criticize this lady, who is no saint granted, but this guy isn't being condemned up and down for being so impossibly perverse?

possibly because our society is a boys club in and of itself?

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Have a heart. Please spay and neuter your pets.

[–] whistal 14 years ago

I hope she has found peace in life. It could not have been easy.

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Have a heart. Please spay and neuter your pets.

[–] Bens_Basement 13 years ago

The film certainly portrayed her as this little old lady that was cheated, betrayed and sometimes bullied by her children. But now I've read up on the case, watched Jesse's testimonial and looked at new evidence, I'm finding it even HARDER to believe that she didn't know something was going on.

New evidence suggests that the documentary was manipulative when it says pornography was only found in Arnold's office. Apparently, they seized two small vibrators/dildo's outside of the office!
What house has dildo's just lying around?

Although I feel sorry for her because she was put into this terrible position. I'm starting to believe that she knew more than she let on which is why; a) she wanted Jesse to take a plea bargain b) she didn't want to be filmed on the home tapes and c) she kept saying in interviews that she didn't want to talk about her husband. It seemed like she'd decided to get out of that family before this whole thing happened and this was her way out.

http://benendsbasement.blogspot.com/

[–] polysicsarebest 12 years ago

She was either completely retarded, had brain damage, or was on some HEEEEEEEEEAVY medication ... she seemed lost, stupid, in some kind of weird sleepwalking coma ... she seriously had issues, had no personality, contradictred herself constantly, didn't really seem to know anything about anything, and she didn't seem supportive of her own family, no wonder they blamed her. Just an insane idiotic person.
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Shuji Terayama forever.

[–] picassa36 11 years ago

lost , stupid wth

her sons alienated her and verbally abused her for not standing by her husband who was a pedo. being a great father doesn't make you a great husband. she had to have known something about this before it all happened. she said all she ever got from him was suris meaning trouble. her sons never disliked their father for a second though he had piles of kiddie porn in his rooms. they didn't give a *beep* whether arnold loved their mother because they didn't like her either. he and a psychiatrist have given evidence that he had molested two kids including his own young brother. david read it and was in complete denial and i remembered some where in the videos where she asked not to be filmed and her sons both joked with each other that whenever we stop talking to her she doesn't want evidence of it and were laughing too. how they blamed her for all this was because they refused to be angry and accept that something wasn't right about their father. they blamed her so much you'd think that elaine had called the police herself and made the accusations of rape.

[–] dalibor-jokic 12 years ago

You are so right, thank you.

"Sure. It's been there a while, it's still got Anthony Eden's lipstick on the bottle."

[–] 11 years ago

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