MovieChat Forums > My Life Without Me (2003) Discussion > About makin love with another man?

About makin love with another man?

posted 16 years ago by nightfury37
27 replies | jump to latest

This movie was really good. I will give a 9/10. But the thing bothering me is why would anyone want to have sex with another man, even though she's in love with her sweet husband, and to the worst she also says she's also in love with Mark Ruffalo at the end.

Is this some kind of fantasy that one should have sex with more men, before getting married? and that she missed coz of married younger and had sex with one guy???

I am not being rude or judging, but I don't know much about this culture. I am from different country.

Pardon me, if I am wrong. It would be great if any of you help clear this thing off my head?

- Gilli
"Expectation hurts"

[–] KAnnD86 16 years ago

She got married and had children so young, she missed out on a lot of experiences. She loved her husband but perhaps wasn't in love with him.

Tomorrow's just your future yesterday!

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] pale_green_stars 15 years ago

She writes on her list "make love to another man to see what it's like." It's more curiousity than anything else - too see how sex can be different with different men.

I thought it was pretty selfish actually. Yes, I understand, she is dying, but I don't see that as an excuse. She chose the life she had - maybe she didn't plan on getting pregnant so young, but she chose to keep the baby.

Her husband seemed like a genuine, caring guy that loved her very much. Wedding vows state "till death do us part" yes?

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] leopardk 15 years ago

Yes, she is looking for an experience she may have missed marrying so young. "My life without me" can also mean her life up to that point, as well when she is gone.

Also, I think she has a sense of "no consequences." Her life and everything in it is ending. "Till death do you part" indeed. Maybe the Mark Ruffalo character suffers as a result, but they make the point that this guy has no life until Ann comes along.

Good point about "telling what is on her mind." She spends the rest of the movie concealing her impending death in almost every scene.

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] nightfury37 15 years ago

May be we can keep that love makin part aside, coz she never experienced it.
But how can she say I LOVE U to Mark even she's in true love with her hubby!

-Gilli
Expectation Hurts

[–] mynystry 15 years ago

i think she didn't want to "make love", what she wanted was to *beep* with some other man (men?) just to see how it feels since she only tried one sausage. For me her character is extremely selfish cos she doesn't care about the people she will hurt by easing her hedonistic curiosity. She is also a liar and unfaithful wife to a lovely husband... Yuck!

"On thought fills immensity" William Blake

[–] babybearsporridge-1 13 years ago

If the Mark Ruffalo character had been given the choice of 2 months only with Anne or nothing with Anne what do you think he would have chosen? How can you say that Anne "didn't care" about other people? You may disagree with her method but her motive was to save her family and friends from 2 months of hand-wringing agony as they watched her die. That's not selfish! Yes, technically she lied, and she was unfaithful, but if you are given a 2 month death sentence doesn't that give you special dispensation from the normal rules of life? I think if you walked a mile in Anne's shoes you might reconsider your comments.

[–] mynystry 12 years ago

Sorry for the late answer, I didn't check this forum for looong time. Regarding your comment, I disagree. I believe honesty is one of the most valuable virtues a human can possess, and her lies seem to me just disgusting. Sure, I am not an angel, but I am pretty sure I would not betray and hurt those i love if I had just few days before dying, actually I would do exactly the oposite, try to love them in the most intense way I can think of before dying. But hey, this is a big world and there's space for different thinking. Cheers

"On thought fills immensity" William Blake

[–] Gary7-1 10 years ago

She's angry that she's dying, (who wouldn't be?) Maybe someone more mature who doesn't feel that she needs to hurt the world (her world) and the people in it by withholding information about her impending death. So she doesn't tell anyone until after she's gone. Did Lee go to her husband and compound their mutual grief by revealing the fact that she said to each of them that she loved them both?

Absolutely selfish and hurtful

[–] Rpdsf 10 years ago

Babybearsporridge-1 wrote, "That's not selfish! Yes, technically she lied, and she was unfaithful, but if you are given a 2 month death sentence doesn't that give you special dispensation from the normal rules of life?"

Where do people come up with this crap? So just because she's dying gives her the freedom to do as she pleases? No morality? No right or wrong? I can do whatever I please because I don't have to suffer the consequences and to hell with everyone else? Where does this kind of thinking of stop?......What's the line?....Because reasoning such as this gradually erodes at a civilized society.

[–] kincaid-5 15 years ago

People shouldn't assume that the film wants us to approve of everything Ann does. In the scene where she writes her list, she vows to say exactly what's on her mind. Two minutes later, she's rude to the waitress who's been nice to her -- saying exactly what she thinks. We're being encouraged to look critically at her actions.

Whatever you may think of having sex with someone else, setting out to make someone fall in love with you when you know you're not going to be around, when you know you're going to break his heart, is just cruel. No two ways about that.

Of course, it eventually backfires on Ann, when she falls in love with him and realizes what she's done.

Join the fight for national health care
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[–] torrentevision 15 years ago

I didn't mind her having sex with another man to see what it's like. After all she is dying, and already setting her husband up with another woman . . .

But I don't understand how she could be so in love with this new guy when she still tells her husband how much she loves him.

I really liked the film, but the relationship with Lee was one part I didn't understand.

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] feydora 14 years ago

What I don't get is all the criticism she is getting from goody-two-shoes people on this forum. No one would have even mentioned that thing is the dying main character was a man.

So, face it. She's a dying woman wanting to experience life as much as possible before the lights go out. The fact that the end is SO near might also have been a major motive behind her action. When there is just no time left , then there is no time to fuss about anything.

She did her best to set up her family before her departure. As someone wrote, I agree that she may very well have truly loved her husband without being in love with him. I think that anyone should be allowed to fall in love at least once before kicking the bucket.

[–] Bullish_Captain 12 years ago

What I don't get is all the criticism she is getting from goody-two-shoes people on this forum. No one would have even mentioned that thing is the dying main character was a man.

Because we already generalize men as pigs/man-whores. So when they do it, it's just expected, not worth mentioning.
We seem to expect better from women.
But things have been changing since the 1960s. Soon women will have lowered themselves to our(men) level, and everyone will be equal.

[–] murfdog19 13 years ago

Maybe you would see it differently if you were told you have two months to live. You have no idea of how it would change you.

Not me, I don't care what happens!

[–] intofilm 13 years ago

Oh, come on. This happens all the time. People really love one person, and fall in love with a second and still really love the first one. Anyway, who could resist the Mark Rufalo character? It wouldn't have been able to continue indefinitely; either Mark or she would have cracked from the strain, or the husband would find out, but it is totally believable for a short term situation. This is just the way relationships change, develop, come and go for a lot of (very normal) people, even though other (very normal) people say they "can't imagine" it.

[–] nightfury37 13 years ago

"People really love one person, and fall in love with a second and still really love the first one"
You kidding me? :D
If the second person made you fall for them, then nowhere you are in love with the first. Heart has four chambers for blood circulation, not for n number of loves :P

-Gilli
http://www.passionfury.blogspot.com

[–] jackJo 12 years ago

@ gilliatnet
I dissagre with you, respectfully :). I think some people can love more than one person, or at least love one and be in love with another. I am one of those people and I doubt I'm the only one out there.

As far as other things mentioned in this thread.... actually, I don't see Ann's act as selfish. I understand why she did what she did, she just wanted to touch someone else's heart, yes for her own enjoyment but I think she's completely entitled to that. Experience something more for the last time and maybe leave a mark in another person's life.

Don't be so fast to judge, at least walk a mile in her shoes before you do.

[–] Tribe-of-Judah 12 years ago

I agree with you jackjo. It is possible to love more than one person. Yes, I agree that she was everything but selfish. She did sacrifice so much, and didn't want to burden anyone into knowing that she was dying and at the same time, make plans for her family so they were set when she died. She may have fallen for someone else in addition to her husband, but to be fair, her new neighbor, Ann, she helped to get together with her husband and the girls. It's true, people are way too quick to judge. They judge without complete understanding.

I'm from this little rock called Staten Island.....

c.a.m.