MovieChat Forums > xXx (2002) Discussion > 100 things we learned from XXX

100 things we learned from XXX

posted 14 years ago by gregory-m-rogers
31 replies | jump to latest

1. Probally not a great idea to have sex with a Russian prostitute. Shes gotta have at least 3 or 4 STD's

2. During a avalanche look to jump for the closest atenna. You will be safe than.

3. When trying to escape Colombian Drug lords, Do tricks on the dirtbike to avoid bullets.

4. Quiting smoking not only saves you from cancer but heat seeking missiles.

5. When working for Russian terrorists. You might want to keep an eye on them and not be getting drunk after you hand them the controls to the chemical bomb.

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[–] ObstinateAnnette 14 years ago

6. A large silver tray can help you escape any situation.

7. When leaving on a high-speed chase in a recently teched-out car, don't bring along the guy who installed all the gadgets. Instead, depend on your girlfriend to read the manual as you drive.

I need my 1987 DG20 Casio electric guitar set to mandolin, yeah...

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[–] infuriated_rain 14 years ago

Grinding a stairway hand rail on a tray/platter is COMPLETELY plausible

The Care Package dude can bench like 250

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[–] gregory-m-rogers 14 years ago

10. Go after the terrorists main girlfriend, good way to get in the group

11. If you pay her she will be your girl too.

12. Dont be a DICK

13. Russian Terrosits never wake up early

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They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.

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[–] dkamberi25 14 years ago

14. Bitches come!!!!!

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[–] Larry1134 14 years ago

15. Video games be the only education we got.

16. Agent shavers is totally shavers.

17. Lions hate zoos.

18. When being interigated by a columbian drug lord, don't be a "funny guy."

19. Tony Hawk and Matt Hoffman hang out with criminals in their spear time.

20. Diner waitressess have mad cankles

But why male models??

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[–] tdvda 14 years ago

21. If you find cocaine in Columbia take a bunch of it, you will have no problem smuggling it back into the states

22. Laugh when Machete walks into a room

23. Video tape yourself committing Grand Theft Auto, it will never be used in court to conviction nor will the cops ever see your show to have probable cause to arrest you.

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[–] rascuache2001 14 years ago

24. Even if you're cold, intelligent and vicious your eyes will give you away.
25. Before you have sex with a prostitute light about 20 thousand candles to really get her in the mood, you know in case the money alone doesn't work.
26. To get away from a sniper simply bust an Indy grind to frontside blunt using a serving tray.

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[–] Strazdamonas 14 years ago

27. Silent Night only breakes in deep watter.
28. By aiming you can determine that something is out of harpoon range.
29. Harpoon can hold a parachute.
30. UNDERWATER submarine will not dock underwater when escaping.
31. Beware of the bridges.
32. All statues are wierd in Prague.
33. American intel knows exactly which minute the enemy ship that they did not kenw about yesterday will launch its deadly rockets.
34. Simply pulling out the hard disk will not work, instead one should wait till it starts to launch rockets and then attempt to pull it out.
35. Biological weapon that only gets neutralized in deep water will cause no damage if exploded inside a river. Infact you can explode whole ship full of it.
36. Vin Diesel is UNTOUCHABLE.

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"Common sense is not so common."
- Voltaire

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[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] dragon_x 13 years ago

From this thread, I learned that people do not learn things from movies ... entertainment ≠ education.

You do know Xander passed his tests and was at the head of his class. This class did not include weapons training of any kind, but maybe he used a harpoon before?

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[–] output 13 years ago

37. Anarchists can find "Car number ten", a purple 1967 Pontiac GTO, "hiding out in Germany" and easily deliver it to Prague within 24 hours if they try really hard enough.

38. Whenever driving in hot pursuit through the village of Drhovy, Czech Republic, expect the inevitable "tractor-pulling-a-trio-of-potato-carts-that-has-blocked-the-road" attempt to slow you down. [Go ahead... Do a Google Maps search of "Drohovy, Czech Republic" to find the actual intersection!}

39. Agent Shavers has the ability to install a complete arsenal inside the GTO overnight, but has really baaaaad handwriting. (Rest in Peace, Michael Roof)

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[–] dragon_x 13 years ago

39. Nobody is perfect. Or wOuld this lesson be from life?

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[–] dragon_x 13 years ago

12. Don't be a dick, Dick. (fixed)

47. xXx is a kick arse MOVIE!

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[–] lazlo_holyfeld 13 years ago

40 (or 48). We may get punched in the face for talking too much...

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[–] midev 13 years ago

49 All Russian gangsters can speak very good English.

I am a very decisive person, I think.

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[–] JaySherman7 13 years ago

50) If you're going to snowboard after causing an avalanche with explosives, by all means, only give them a 5 second timer.

51) if you're a brilliant scientist and you're locked in a room with automatic weapons handy, shoot them at the steel door and not the plexiglass with the detonator and guy trying to kill you behind it

52)behind the ear is a perfectly safe place to keep a lit cigarette

54) Xander Cage likes hideous coats

55) after yelling at Gibbons for wanting to wipe out every one of the bad guys and saying they're not all that bad, its okay to immediately throw a random sentry off a cliff when you have a gun full of tranquilizer darts

56) if you need to lay down to shoot the villain, do it directly under a closing door and not three feet back, cause that yard will make all the difference

57) insist on having tons of weapons installed in your car, then have no expectation to use it in your plan whatsoever

58) Russians consider "conversation" a complicated word

59) Gibbons is such a pimp he has a frikkin General chauffeur him around in Prauge

60)if you're aware that you have a Russian intelligence infiltrating your terrorist group, be sure to keep her around for at least two years and let her in on you most heinous scheme

61) Xander Cage has no problems with a butterface

62) spinning the cylinder of a revolver and then aiming must mean you really know how to use it

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[–] !!!deleted!!! (26508686) 13 years ago

63. Everything is "alright" if you have enough vodka.

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[–] madferit1515 12 years ago

64. Jango Fett purchased his toxic darts from the same source as the NSA ("It was just a corvette").

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[–] MurphAndTheMagicTones 11 years ago

65. Sova really needs to shoot the guy who sold him his suit.

66. Dick Hotchkiss can talk to the police less than a second after hitting the Send button on his phone.

67. Xander Cage has NOT knocked over a few 7-Elevens.

68. Ten cars is just an appetizer.

69. Yelena's heart is good for keeping ice cold.

70. Shavers would be happy with a nice Czech girl.

71. Not only can you get parachutes built into your seats, they'll have an American flag design.

72. Before setting off explosives, you must say "fire in the hole," even if nobody's around or you say it too quietly for anyone to hear.

73. If Gibbons tells you not to do something, do it.

74. Kirill will continue to smoke even after it kills him.

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"People who speak in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch."---Melvin Udall, "As Good As It Gets"

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[–] bociekole 10 years ago

75. Alps are in the Czech Republic ^_^

76. Submarines sails always on the surface.

77. If you wanna have a political asylum in the USA, be a russian secret agent and probably a spy.

78. The best idea to destroy the world by chemical weapons, using a submarine is to launch it in the Czech Republic - country with no access to any open waters, and hope that the boat didn't stuck in shoal and also will sail emerted safely through Vltava and Elbe rivers on the territories of Czech Republic and Germany (note, that CZ was not a part of EU in 2002 and border control was required if you wanted to go from one to another country in this times), through cities like Prague, Usti nad Labem, Dresden, Meissen, Magdeburg, Wittenberg and Hamburg and then sail immerted through the North Sea and Atlantic Ocean and no one will realised to destroy it by missles, bombs, torpedoes, rockets, laser from the sattelite or any other weapon.

79. Xander Cage is a prophet who knews before, which car will choose Yorgi and that Yelena will go with him, so he did't plant a C4 in exactly that car.

79. Poor Yelena - she was forgotten by her employers, goverment and even russian diplomats in Prague, so she was enable to seek help in Russian Ambassy or Consulate. She was of course enable to seek help in police, immigration bureau, etc. or in any other country in Europe especially in neighbouring countries (Poland, Austria, Germany, Slovakia). Her subordinates (two Ivans) of course can't rescue her. Only an overseas superhero would set her free.

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[–] switchblade185 11 years ago

Rammstein were only big enough to play small churches in 2002. (now they headline festivals)

Remember that New Years party at Lenny’s. He didn’t even have a clock

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[–] sheila_schumacher 10 years ago

80. There's always a girl.

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[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] HolyTrollingPontiff 9 years ago

WHERE THE *beep* IS 81????

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[–] yusef-ghanima 8 years ago

lol

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[–] v_laakso 8 years ago

81. If you yell the place you want to go on holiday to the main guy after you saved the city and the world and he cannot hear you, whisper it to yourself and then the main guy will hear what you said.

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[–] yusef-ghanima 8 years ago

82 if you wanna save the world, send someone who like it the way it is

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[–] mjack421 8 years ago

83. When a girl kisses you and says "never again," expect another kiss from her and sex eventually.

moviemanjackson.com

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[–] TheUniquePerception 8 years ago

84. A helicopter armed with a rotary autocannon can disable an armored personnel carrier, but cool dudes on dirt bikes are able to dodge bullets while doing sick air tricks. I always knew it was true. XXX confirmed it.

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[–] output 8 years ago

85. The GTO was so cool it will re-appear 15 years later as a "gift" to Xander Cage in xXx: Return of Xander Cage!

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