MovieChat Forums > Dahmer Discussion > Is it wrong to feel sorry for Dahmer?

Is it wrong to feel sorry for Dahmer?

posted 12 years ago by TrentReznorandAtticusRoss
33 replies | jump to latest

I ask this, because everyone keeps telling me it's wrong. Everyone keeps reminding me of how fvcking sick he was. Everybody keeps telling me how badly he mutilated young guys - and all I had to say to them was, No fvcking sh!t, Sherlock.

I can't help but sympathize - and in some strange, unnerving way, relate to Dahmer. I can't say that I know how it is to be a homosexual, (especially being raised by anti-homosexual parents) under those circumstances.
But Dahmer was extremely lonely. I think a part of us can relate to that. That constant loneli-ness that is always at the back of your mind, and you always know that it's your doing, and that you can't help it. I know presicely how that feels. So, everyone who keeps telling me how fvcked up he was, obviously have no clue how that feels like. I'm sure that one day, their friends shall obandon them for a day or two, and they will feel that lonely-ness. Because nobody likes being lonely.
Sometimes it doesn't kill to be open minded, look at it from Dahmer's point of view: He cannot relate to anyone that well, and he doesn't want to be around others (unless they're dead, or mannequins) so the only way that he can connect with someone is over their dead body. So to speak.
When people can shut the fvck up and actually look at it from Dahmer's perspective, they will - or might, see just how lonely he is.

I'm not defending him, on the other hand. Of course, he did to terrible things to people, and is a monster. But monsters have reasons. What he did to his victims were horrific. But as a person, he just wasn't taken seriously enough.

If I someone asked me if I wanted to speak to Dahmer, here's what I would say to them - P.S, this is the infamous quote by Marilyn Manson on the topic of the Colombus shooting:

'I wouldn't say anything, I'd listen to what he has to say, and that's what no-one did.'

I would like the opportunity to speak with him, if I could.
I would on the other hand wield a knife, or a gun, in that situation.

[–] j778899 10 years ago

Some people descend to that of a sub human, "He did terrible things to people" is an interesting statement, he tortured and killed them for his pleasure, "I wouldn't say anything, I'd listen to what he has to say, and that's what no-one did", tell that to his dead victims, God I hope you don't reproduce.

[–] younngl 10 years ago

The simplistic thinking surrounding this is astounding and very ignorant... Actually I have found him to be more sympathetic then any other serial killer I have heard about or done research on. Psychology is extremely complicated and having sympathy for somebody doesn't equate to "they should let him off with murder." A sympathetic killer is still a killer.

Dahmer is a very interesting case study... Why? because he did not find killing in and of itself enjoyable, hence why he drilled a hole in one of his victim's head and poured muriatic acid in order to create a "zombie sex partner." It was sick, but nonetheless he wasn't like Gacy and his case may be pertinent to stop more serial killers either before they start, or before they become serial killers. I don't think it's wrong to feel sorry for somebody who may have been created to be the monster they are through society.

[–] shlone3 9 years ago

"Created by society"

What are you basing that on?

[–] Circle_of_the_Moon2101 10 years ago

Whatever happens in the childhood or teen years of Dahmer and other mass murderers is NO excuse for the crimes that they commit in their adult life. I am so tired of sympathy being produced for these savage maniacs by devoting focus on trauma that they might have received in their younger years.

I don't feel sorry for Dahmer at all. When it was announced on the news that Dahmer was assaulted and fatally wounded in prison, it put a broad smile on my face. Lex talionis!

[–] imthebaddest11 10 years ago

No, Dahmer said in many interviews that he never intended to kill anyone he only wanted them to stay with him forever.

[–] deborahkerr1992 10 years ago

I used to feel sorry for him. He has such an innocent look and his words seem so sincere. It wasn't until I looked a bit more in depth, watched the interviews of folks who were there and who actually spoke with him at length about his life and crime that I realized Dahmer was highly manipulative. He and played the "poor me I just wanted company" role to a T. I see people write over and over that he was so lonely. The reason he was lonely was because he didn't want any sort of normal reciprocal relationship with any of these men. He, in his own words, wanted a sex slave. He preferred these guys dead because he could do to their bodies whatever he wanted. He didn't have to have conversation, hear their demands or deal with their wants and because he was so selfish, he knew they would inevitably leave. Which of course he could not allow. His so-called loneliness was self-imposed. There are loads of people who don't want the hassle of a relationship, but they don't kill people to make them stay. He wanted to possess and control these guys without any regard for what they wanted. In his eyes they had no rights. They were objects to be used. What Jeff wanted was all that mattered. This is 100% psychopathic behavior. He had no feelings of love and he didn't want to be loved. Please do not waste your sympathy on this monster. Instead, save your pity for the victims, their families and even Jeff's family.

[–] 10 years ago

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[–] Falconeer 10 years ago

The problem is that if you only know Dahmer's story from this movie, it will be normal to feel sympathy for him. Although a very well-made film, this movie is wildly inaccurate where the facts were concerned. The movie would have you believe that J. Dahmer only killed 1 or 2 people, which is outrageous. There should have been allusions to his many other victims..for instance a shot of his refrigerator filled with multiple body parts. They didn't even show him bring home more than one guy! They could have told an accurate story without showing actual gory footage. I'm not sure why they presented his story this way..it's too bad, because this movie has a great look to it, and Jeremy Renner was an extremely good Dahmer.

"IMdB; where 14 year olds can act like jaded 40 year old critics...'

[–] 10 years ago

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[–] millsyooksy 9 years ago

I pity him because I think he was born to be a sadistic psychopath. I don't think he was made one I think he was born one, it was genetic.

But, I don't relate to him at all. I'm not that disturbed. I'm not perfect but I could never hurt someone like he did. He was truly insane.

[–] joke_ster36-2 8 years ago

Nobody has had a perfect upbringing. It's a combination of genetic predisposition to violence and usually child abuse. I've never heard about Dahmer being abused by his family,although his parents did argue a lot and got divorced which made Dahmer feel even more lost, but I have read from various articles that he may have been sexually molested by his neighbor when he was young.