MovieChat Forums > Dahmer Discussion > Is it wrong to feel sorry for Dahmer?

Is it wrong to feel sorry for Dahmer?

posted 12 years ago by TrentReznorandAtticusRoss
33 replies | jump to latest

I ask this, because everyone keeps telling me it's wrong. Everyone keeps reminding me of how fvcking sick he was. Everybody keeps telling me how badly he mutilated young guys - and all I had to say to them was, No fvcking sh!t, Sherlock.

I can't help but sympathize - and in some strange, unnerving way, relate to Dahmer. I can't say that I know how it is to be a homosexual, (especially being raised by anti-homosexual parents) under those circumstances.
But Dahmer was extremely lonely. I think a part of us can relate to that. That constant loneli-ness that is always at the back of your mind, and you always know that it's your doing, and that you can't help it. I know presicely how that feels. So, everyone who keeps telling me how fvcked up he was, obviously have no clue how that feels like. I'm sure that one day, their friends shall obandon them for a day or two, and they will feel that lonely-ness. Because nobody likes being lonely.
Sometimes it doesn't kill to be open minded, look at it from Dahmer's point of view: He cannot relate to anyone that well, and he doesn't want to be around others (unless they're dead, or mannequins) so the only way that he can connect with someone is over their dead body. So to speak.
When people can shut the fvck up and actually look at it from Dahmer's perspective, they will - or might, see just how lonely he is.

I'm not defending him, on the other hand. Of course, he did to terrible things to people, and is a monster. But monsters have reasons. What he did to his victims were horrific. But as a person, he just wasn't taken seriously enough.

If I someone asked me if I wanted to speak to Dahmer, here's what I would say to them - P.S, this is the infamous quote by Marilyn Manson on the topic of the Colombus shooting:

'I wouldn't say anything, I'd listen to what he has to say, and that's what no-one did.'

I would like the opportunity to speak with him, if I could.
I would on the other hand wield a knife, or a gun, in that situation.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] calico_skies 12 years ago

Dahmer is probably my "favorite" serial killer, because he <i>is</i> intriguing, and yes, his crimes were horrific (especially looking at crime scene photos...eesh), but I do find myself feeling some empathy towards him, unlike other serial killers who I don't feel sorry for at all, even if they did have bad childhoods. Being an aspiring forensic psychologist I would have <i>loved</i> to interview him. (And I think I would be safe, as I am female. Hah.)

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] cthulhulurks 12 years ago

Bundy?

my vote history:
http://www.imdb.com/user/ur13767631/ratings

[–] JRichardSingleton 12 years ago

That he was a sick freak from a normal household should disgust you more, frankly.

[–] xlos_crudosx 12 years ago

I do feel sorry for him. Even though his parents deny there was any physical or sexual abuse..I don't believe them. I think in most cases a monster isn't born from nothing. As a teen he was already a drunk. Where do you hear of teens getting drunk before school to cope with life? I believe his dad probably raped him and physically/mentally abused him. He had a lot of secrets and worries and no one really liked him or accepted him. Eventually all that loneliness led him to fantasize then eventually he went through with it. The things he did weren't right, but I do feel sorry for him because what he went through as a kid no one should ( I'm sure his dad raped him) then to be bullied and a loner and secretly gay. That's a lot to go through and not have anyone ...

[–] bellapeligrosa 12 years ago

I watched the Dahmer interview, and his matter-of-fact nature as he talked about the killings. This man destroyed lives, by drugging his victims, injecting acid into their brains whilst they were still alive. He was a cannibal and necrophiliac, not to mention a child-molester. Whether his parents molested him or not (but I don't believe they did and there is no evidence that suggests it), the only reason he killed in the way he did was because he was a very mentally ill man. Perhaps that in itself should illicit some sort of sympathetic response in me, but it doesn't, no more than I'd feel sorry for the Bundy's, Hindley's and Brady's of the world.

Now Renner's portrayal of Dahmer: yes as I watched it, I felt sympathy. But Renner is an extremely attractive and likeable actor, with a captivating onscreen presence. Bathed in red light, he seems almost ethereal, a chain-smoking angel of death, playing with his victim, who still looks alive through his eyes, to a haunting melody intercut with him striding into the woods as a newborn killer. In reality, those acts would have been horrific, the flat and the body must have stank of decay. The movie looked at one angle, most of which must have been speculation. Dahmer killed 17 people. He was born with whatever makes a psychopath, he acted on his compulsions, he covered up his tracks. Maybe nobody liked or accepted him because on an instinctive level they knew he was a killer, or maybe he just chose to stay away from people because of his sick fantasies. In Dahmer's instance, I'd have to go with nature, not nurture.

It's too cerebral! We're trying to make a movie here, not a film!

[–] deborahkerr1992 10 years ago

well said. I think this guy was just a bad seed. I also like the way you described the actor as having life in his eyes. He essentially humanized Dahmer. Who in real life, had the vacant, cold, dead eyes of a predator.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] MaraChanel 12 years ago

I stumbled upon the crime scene photos-the real ones,mind- one day long before I saw Jeremy Renner's Dahmer.It scarred me because the sheer reality of what I was looking at.
Because I study psychology and am interested in specialising in forensics I read up a lot on these real life killers. They had no profound effect on me until I saw the aftermath of their crimes. I love watching horror flicks but seeing the effects of the degeneration of the human being like that,I learnt not to feel sorry for them but to view them as merely a case gone bad. To be honest,I understand where you're coming from a bit. I feel a bit sorry for Ed Gein. He had some serious mommy issues. If I pity them,it's because sometimes their lives and childhood was so warped and twisted,I wonder how they would have been had it not for their upbringing. It makes me wonder,would Charles Manson have turned into a homicidal false prophet if he didn't grow up the way he did?
Jeffrey Dahmer on the other hand,can't be classed in the same category. Here is a man who it seems was destined to be the way he was. Serial killers have no emotion,do they? No remorse for their victims. In the film it was shown that he wasn't abandoned,his father tried really hard to reach out to him. He had a normal upbringing yet he committed some of the worst crimes.Cannibalism and I think even necrophilia.

[–] fridaynight-1 12 years ago

There are thousands of people who were abused in childhood, yet they never became murderers. And there are lots of serial killers who had normal parents and normal childhood.
Dahmer was not crazy, he knew it was wrong what he was doing, but he was doing it anyway.
He doesn't deserve sympathy.

[–] xlos_crudosx 12 years ago

They always say he had a " generally normal childhood" but if you watch the interviews with his family. There are some clearly visible awkward moments when they ask his parents questions about his childhood . Watch them on youtube. Was very glad to have found them there .

[–] SteveH2002 12 years ago

It's never wrong to feel compassion, even for the loathed and despised. In fact, if you want to understand someone like Dahmer it might be impossible if you see him as an inhuman monster. It's pointless to try and understand the inhuman - they are too alien.

Serial killers are compelling because they're driven to break the last taboo - the murder of 'innocent' strangers. How did their hard wiring go so wrong? How were they able to function in the everyday world? How do they get away with it?

btw - this is an unexpectedly good movie.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] TrentReznorandAtticusRoss 12 years ago

So did you expect to see a movie where real murders are glamorized?

Or did you completely miss the point of the film.
His struggle with his sexuality didn't make him into who he was. His fascination with the human body was. His struggle to find a place in the world (i.e, struggles with his homophobic family) is where my sympathy comes in. Because deep down we can relate to personal struggles and fitting in, and yes, sometimes our sexuality does lead us into fvcked up places even in our state of mind. But that's just a demonic consequence of being human. There's nothing we can do about it. Except for relating and support.

Clearly nobody wanted Dahmer and that's what made it worse, also.

So, you must be GOD if you cannot understand these things or have not known someone or expirienced these yourself.

...Or perhaps you need help opening that closet door?

[–] pas_si_simple 12 years ago

demonic consequence?
no.

i have some empathy for dahmer's fear of losing control, abandonment issues, and feelings of isolation and alienation BUT i don't ever forget that this film's POV and even dahmer's own real life opinion of himself was that he CHOSE to do the things he did.

ia w/ your view that dahmer's fears/motivations are all but human, but there are no angels or demons.

[–] fridaynight-1 12 years ago

Yeah, and Dahmer was the first person on planet earth who felt that people didn't love him or understand him. His expirience was so unique that he had only one way out - to make others suffer.
You people surprise me and disgust me.
He was a murderer. He knew perfectly well what her was doing, but he did it anyway.
Nobody deserves to be murdered, raped and dismembered just because there's a poor little boy whose parents are mean to him.

[–] war-path 11 years ago

Yes. It is absolutely wrong for you to feel sorry for him. The fact that you wrote you would like to speak with him if given that chance and at the same time would only do so if you had a dangerous weapon on you for just incase.... kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it feel like it?

By the way, that quote from Marylin Manson is on the topic of the Columbine shootings, not Columbus.