Abusers don't wait that long. It happens at the beginning of the relationship.
I'm glad Obama won, but I will not jump on the Pro-Choice bandwagon
Not true. Physical abuse does not always take place at the beginning of the relationship.
Also, Slim was being emotionally abused by Mitch for awhile.
He is wearing a disguise and its when she pulls it off that his true colors are shown, but I'm sure there were small signs we just didn't see, like him holding her arms tightly or slamming his hand on the wall near her head, that type of stuff, but when defied him it sent off signals within him that triggered the abuse to start.
shareI agree.
EVERY abusive relationship I've known about, or been in, the abuse doesn't suddenly pop up out of the blue years into the relationship or when things go bad.
It's always there.
The woman (usually at the receiving end) simply justifies/rationalizes/whatever at first. But it's always there, in the beginning.
However I do have to say, almost always the wife is also abusive (takes two to dance). The guy is simply stronger.
The movie Once Were Warriors is the truest depiction of an abusive relationship I've ever seen. The wife also has a temper, and also blows up, but loses out simply because is weaker physically. She is even honest enough to take her share of responsibility for the current state of affairs and even after leaving the guy (Jake Heke), does not resent him nor blame him 100% for it (the sequel).
Most women are never that honest.
However I do have to say, almost always the wife is also abusive (takes two to dance). The guy is simply stronger.
"Where in the world do you get that?"
Police statistics and this Guardian article (hardly a Men's Movement bastion)
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence
http://www.clarkprosecutor.org/html/domviol/myths.htm
Here, it says "A well-publicized study conducted by Dr. Murray Strauss at the University of New Hampshire found that women use violent means to resolve conflict in relationships as often as men. However, the study also concluded that when the context and consequences of an assault are measured, the majority of victims are women. The U.S. Department of Justice has found that 85% of the victims of spouse abuse are female. Men can be victims, but it is rare"
The key portion is "context and consequences of an assault", meaning who's stronger. As simple as that.
"It most certainly does NOT take 2 people to create a domestic violence situation. It only takes 1 spouse striking another."
And the wife usually strikes back. She simply ends up losing and hence becomes the victim.
The helpless innocent victim we see on TV and movies is not the norm.
Don't believe everything you read. I would not base one's opinion solely on any one 'study'.
There's lots of skewed crap about this subject, lots of agendas.
I highly doubt MOST women 'hit back'. Regardless of whether they do or not, who cares?! The man strikes first. Thus, the man is the criminal.
Whoever strikes first is the criminal, my friend.
IF a woman even tries to hit back while being attacked, this is called self-defense!
"I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus."
"Didn't he discover America?"
"Penfold, shush."
"Don't believe everything you read. I would not base one's opinion solely on any one 'study'.
There's lots of skewed crap about this subject, lots of agendas."
Wise advice. But my opinion is based on what I see everyday in my hometown (Tepito, Mexico City). Most poor people (as in dirt poor) I see arguing and fighting I see BOTH hitting first and back. The only ones I see always on the receiving end are the natives (Mayans, Huicholes, Tarahumaras), whose women are unnaturally submissive (against their best interest).
"The man strikes first. Thus, the man is the criminal. "
Sure whomever hits first. But whomever hits first today may be responding to an attack from yesterday (I see many women biding their time to strike back, and sometimes they take days, when you see in a party or whatever a woman taking a shot at her man we later find out it's because he beat her the previous night or something).
All I'm saying is it ain't as black & white as in the movie (nor as absurd). Maybe the women here are on average more violent than in the US, I don't know (latin women are renown for not taking crap quietly). But I would guess black women are just as loud and willing to give as good as they get (what I get to see on COPS and Fox at least). They sure got the build for it.
Right because every situation is always the same and there are no exceptions, right?
Pobre de Dios que no sale en revistas, que no es modelo ni artista, o de familia royal...
I have to agree. There is not only one way for how domestic violence starts. People are all different. I enjoyed this movie even though it was fantastical and unrealistic. However, I found the abuse pattern believable because he show signs of being controlling as outlined by other users -- the comment at the wedding, behavior about the house, ignoring Slim in the hospital when she wanted to hold the baby. Also, you will notice when they are at the beach, he looks bored and distracted. So, I think they had a 5 year honeymoon phase with Slim behaving and being compliant with what he wants. But, he starts to get bored five years in and she confronts him. That is when he snaps. If she had gone back to being the good girl, he probably would not have hit her again. I don't think he likes hitting women, I think he just uses the violence to keep control and his authority. If that is respected and not challenged, then it is smooth sailing.
share[deleted]