Carter: "Women love me 'cause I'm tall, dark and handsome, and you're third world ugly"
I was crying with laughter for ages after that line.
"Warhorse. Warhead, F u c k 'em, man, White knuckle tight. Through black and white"
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[deleted]
Outtake -
*cell phone*
"What, no I'll call you back later...I'm on the set...I'm staring Jackie Chan in the fa... He wants to talk to you."
*Jackie takes phone*
"We are filming! You are wasting our film!"
Chan: You said it was a bomb
Tucker: No, I said SHE was the bomb!!
Chan: She the bomb???
_________________________________
Steven Seagal Fan Club President
[Carter, Talking to Ricky Tan in the Massage Parlor]
Carter: And you asians don't hear that well.
[Takes Ricky's computer, throwing it on the ground]
Carter: Little Ricky. Get your little ... punk ... *** ... outta that chair ... right now!
Carter: You're messin' up my vacation! Now I told you to get up, didn't I?
[Grabs Ricky's robe]
Carter: look little man, you comin' with me.
Carter: Oh my ...
Carter: I would like to pay you for that laptop. I ... I think I should do that.
Ricky: No problem.
Carter: I can get you a new one, I seen on the internet. With a DVD player. That's an old model
Ricky: Now I must excuse myself, Inspector. Have a good day.
Jesus loves you, so much that He gave His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for your sins
"follow the rich white man".
lol. If you want to solve 90% of the World's problems, this is a good place to start.
The whole scene where Carter was singing 'Dont stop til you get enough' gets me all the time!
And "Lionel Richie aint been black since The Commodores!" LOL
Every single line mentioned in this thread was funny. Since all my favs were mentioned, another one I liked was
Kenny: "...Comin' up in my place and embarrassin' me in front of my wife, my child and my friends."
James Carter: "You embarassin' yourself, man, you're a black man with a Chinese restaurant on Crenshaw."
to me the way carter said -did you just take another damn case on my vacation man?
shareFOr one of themore subtlely funny lines:
Carter: This is my informant's place, they got pretty good ribs here too.
Lee: I like Kosher...
lol its not an lol laugh, but its still a great laugh!
"Hey you smokin Mother Nature, this is a bust!"-The Who
"The Legend will Never Die!"-Soul Calibur
my fave scene is at the chinese soul food restaurant.
kenny: you know what im going to do? imma whoop your ass, and then imma whoop your ass.
chris tucker: ill shoot you and tell them you fell in the kitchen
lmao i love that scene.
We may not have a woodshed on board, but that boy is gonna get a whuppin' anyway!
After Cheadle and Chan converse in Chinese Carter feels left out so when they leave he grabs cheadle and tells him:
"Ooh tong ung tang uhn tonski"
The whole scene in Versace with Piven
Lee: "There are several men chasing us"
Piven: "As well they should"
Carter: "Get me 44 long nuthin but silk touches this body and get my partner something from the children's department"
Piven: "You've got the mocha java face big broad shoulders, lets put a dead animal on you! I'm thinking buttercream, buttercream, crocskin, buttercream, what size is the waist?"
Lee: "Watch it sweetness!"
I like when they visit Don Cheadle's Chinese place and as they are leaving, Chris Tucker says something along the lines of 'Oktao eaptao idda omskee'. That was just PRICELESS.
Carter: "It looks like you got everything under control, so I'll just head downstairs and - GOD DAMN! What happened to him?"
Lee: (as Isabella is getting undressed) "Okay. I'll try to stay awake. So boring."
I pronounce you man and wife. Proceed with the execution.
"Hey, I like Snoopy too"
(trying to climb out of the manhole) "eh man,1 at a time...what the hell's wrong with you?"
(listening to kareoke).."what in the hell...am I the only one hearing this? BOO!"
not a line, but the scene where Lee thinks Carter is dead, and is "dancing" to Puff Daddy's I'll be missing you on the car radio
"what ima do with a chicken? I like my chicken fried..ever hear of Popeye's?
the captain..."el capitan"
this time Im not gonna take it easy on you cuz your a woman. Im gonna treat you like a man. A very sexy man, that I'd like to take to the movies.
Lee: I will bitch-slap you back to Africa
[about to fight Hu Li]
Carter: I'm gonna pretend you a man. A very beautiful man with a great body that I'd like to take to the movies
Carter: You know, we could have been a good couple. We could have had something special. But you one crazy-ass bitch!
"I'm just a happy camper! Rockin' and a-rollin'!" - Patrick Bateman, American Psycho