Will anyone else admit to having trouble interpreting the women's ages and identities?

I am a white guy, and I think I do not know enough Asian people to have as good a feel for their faces as I do for whites and even for African Americans. Some of the difficulties I had while watching:

--I thought Ting Ting was NJ's beautiful young wife. I did think he was being overly demanding to order her to empty the trash, but chalked it up to patriarchal Taiwanese culture. After I figured out she was his teen daughter, I was still left with echoes of my impression of her from the beginning, making it hard to look at her in an innocent way.

--It was hard for me to believe, when they ran into each other by the elevator, that NJ's old flame had been an adult thirty years previous. She looked no more than 35! And a very well preserved 35 at that.

--Then later in the movie, it took a while for me to realize she was the same character. Her hair was different and she now wore glasses, making her pretty much unrecognizable from my perspective.