I believe he knew he had died since he could travel and see his wife and kids. Just don't get why he couldn't stay? If they were all dead couldn't they stay together?
Obviously I think he also knew they were dead and what she had done to them before Anne even told him. He seems in a very depressed state for someone who is seeing his children and wife for the last time. He spent two days in bed.
I'm confused about the dad too. "He came back to say good bye to his wife and kids" so my thinking is that his soul either isn't at rest in the battlefield and that's where it lies, or he needed his family to die in order to have closure and say goodbye before he could pass on to heaven. I don't think going to war against the Nazis would put one in either hell, purgatory or limbo.
shareI agree that he has finally accepted his death and will either go to heaven or simply that his soul will finally rest (whatever that means); it may even mean that he just simply ceases to exist anymore. Either way he's letting go, but couldn't let go until he said goodbye to his family.
He knows Grace; he knows her personality and that she will be unable to let go because of her desperate need to control her environment, and that, as a result, her children will never be able to let go either, so he will probably never see them again, and they will probably never be at peace.
The war was still going on. He knew he was still needed at the front.
shareThat was my take on it too. He was a wandering spirit that finally found his way home. When he did, he got the closure he needed so that he could let go and move on to the afterlife.
shareHe is no kind of husband or father. I'm sure if he knew her state of mental health or had some clue somewhere, he wouldn't have gone to war; he would have taken both of the kids when she was asleep and moved them out of the house, out of the country far, far away from her and raised them alone, but then we would have no movie. [shrugs]
shareThat's an interesting take. A soul coming to grips with the futility of its existence.
shareYou're all missing the plot.
Anne and the kids can't leave because they died in the house, that is where they will always be, just like the servants. They died there so they will stay there forever. The dad died at the front so he cannot ever leave, he says the war is still going and he has to go there. Remember when Anne tried to leave and the fog prevented her from leaving? Same with the dad.
I figured it was a religious thing.
She comitted murder and suicide, which by some rules, means they don't get to go to heaven.
The father was probably killed by enemy soldiers.
I'm not sure exactly how time works for them, or is perceived by them, so it's hard to say when the father died in relation to when they died, and when he came to say goodbye.
I kind of thought that once she figured out what happened, that they could move on to wherever, but then I guess she just decided to give in to haunting the house for good. Maybe because they were in Purgatory, but I'm not sure. I don't know if anyone who worked on the film has explained it or not. Maybe it's left up to interpretation.
Edit: My bestie mentioned that it seemed the father had been wandering for a long time, trying to find them. I theorised that he probably couldn't find them until the mother started to (but not fully) accept what had actually happened. Then, once he found them and said goodbye, he could move on.
The children were innocent, I don't see why they wouldn't go to heaven.
sharemaybe there is no heaven.
shareMaybe the children couldn't let go of the lives they'd lived, because they died through no fault of their own.
The poor sprats never did anything wrong as long as they lived, their deaths were painfully unjust. And in my experience human beings will NEVER let go of a feeling that they've been wronged, I've heard people almost a hundred years old complain about things that happen to them as children. So while I don't believe in ghosts, the idea of someone clinging to their sense of being an innocent who is terribly wronged to the grave and beyond... makes narrative sense.
I'm not Catholic so I don't know a lot about Purgatory but wouldn't Grace have gone to hell for killing her kids? Even if she'd "gone mad" at the time?
share[deleted]
I had the impression that Grace stayed in the house because that's where she was happiest. She had screamed at the living that it was her house and she'd never leave it. The husband would've stayed, but the daughter told him what Grace had done and he didn't want to be with her after that.
share[deleted]
I see. Thanks!
shareI’ve thought about this a lot, and my interpretation is that the father died on the battlefield and had been wandering like a lost soul. Even when Grace brings him to the house, he’s still a lost soul. I don’t think he even knows he’s dead yet, because Mr. Tuttle asks Mrs. Mills, “do you think he suspects anything?” To which she replies, “no, I don’t think he even knows where he is.” He’s sort of just going through the motions.
When Anne tells her dad what happened the night Grace went mad, that’s when he realizes they’re all dead. He says he has to back to war and that it’s not over, but part of the truth is that he’s leaving because he doesn’t want to be in the house with Grace to begin with.
Grace had screamed at him about how he didn’t even have to fight; he volunteered. And she claims the reason he left was more than just the war; he wanted to leave her and couldn’t stand being trapped in the house. But for her, loving him was enough to bear “living in this darkness, this prison.” I think that’s part of the reason he eventually chooses to leave them again to go “back to the front.” And I don’t believe he went into a heavenly afterlife; he just left to continue wandering, maybe returning to the front, which is why he whispers “forgive me, Grace” before he disappears.
Now that's a new meaning to the phrase: A messy divorce!
share