Regarding the film, based on what is depicted in only 2 short scenes, how does some occasional shouting in the household constitute "growing up in an abusive home"?
And, regarding the comics, how does much of what you write, and the examples you give, constitute "growing up in an abusive home"?
Doesn't the concept or definition of "domestic abuse" include reprehensible things like regular beatings, unlawful confinement, sexual impropriety, forced starvation, etc?
interesting questions. i don't know if i can answer them because the definition of abuse is tricky and is different in each situation but i'll try.
domestic abuse doesn't have to be physical at all to be considered abuse actually. You can abuse someone without so much as lifting a finger or causing physical harm to them. You don't even have to yell at someone to abuse them either. Guilt tripping someone into staying in a relationship is a form of emotional abuse for example.
Verbal abuse is described as a negative defining statement told to the victim or about the victim, or by withholding any response, thereby defining the target as non-existent.
Psychological abuse, also referred to as psychological violence, emotional abuse or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.
So in the first Spider-Man film, Peter witnesses MJ walk out of her house with her dad following her and yelling "you're trash. you're always going to be trash just like her." it's a form of verbal bullying from her parent no less and one can infer that since she lives with this parent she's exposed to it quite often. Since the film focuses on Peter, it only shows the viewer what he sees of MJ and from his perspective.
In a later scene Peter also witnesses her and her parents fighting when he takes out the trash to which she exits her house emotionally distraught. So the film's first few introductions to her that offer a much longer glimpse into who she is as a person is through Peter's eyes where she's seen escaping her father's bullying on her way to school and later escaping her parents screaming at each other while at home. She doesn't seem to be in a mentally healthy household with that much hostility happening in her personal home life the 2 out of 3 times Peter sees her when she's not at school.
It's been a while since I've watched this film but I believe in the beginning of the conversation exchanged between Peter and MJ he tries to tell her that his aunt and uncle get into fights sometimes as well to which MJ implies fights happen a lot more often at her house than normal by changing the subject.
A deleted scene in the extended version of the sequel confirms MJ's emotional abuse at the hands of her father when she expresses to her friend that by getting married to John Jameson she's proving her father wrong about his claims that no one would ever love her to which her friend tries to talk some sense into her about marrying someone she actually loves and not someone for validation. As an adult the emotional damage inflicted by her father has already been done and set in stone and it also dictates the way she handles relationships.
Regarding the comics and in real life I suppose as well, the way a person deals with witnessing abuse at home whether being the victim or living with it manifests in different ways. You're right that getting hit and yelled at is not necessarily abuse if it's a one time thing but if it occurs on a somewhat regular and repetitive basis AND if there's genuine anger behind the person who is inflicting it..then it is. Sometimes it's the intention behind an action.
Anyway in the comics MJ presented herself to her friends as a carefree party girl who ran away from relationships. The comics focused on her being fun and almost empty-headed at times. Peter eventually found it tiring after a while and insults her as shallow and as someone who 'wouldn't even cry if her own mother died' after the death of Gwen Stacy. Instead of running away MJ decides to stay with Peter as he mourns the death of his girlfriend which showed readers at the time there was a lot more to her then she let on. The comic eventually revealed MJ's home life and why she created an outward persona of a cool chic that didn't want to settle down or get married due to her shielding herself from the abuse that she was witnessing to her mother and sister at the hands of her father at home.
In the first spider-man as well MJ acted differently with her friends at school then she did when it was just her and Peter when no one else was around.
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