Underrated lines


"You already put a dent in my fackin' piano."

ROFL, one of the most underrated lines in the whole movie. And the way he says piano, it's like he says it "pianah", and he's so pissed over it, it's so random and funny.

"Heavy? What I wouldn't give to know heavy, you insensitive prick. Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'm going down the street for a cup o' coffee."

Also, that strange look Ted gives the hitchhiker, while he's explaining the 7 Minute Abs and the songs, Ted gives him this hilarious "WTF" look really quickly. Oh, and "I'm only waitin' 7 minutes! Your seats are making me itchy, man! What are they, made outta cactus?"

And finally, the therapist in the beginning of the movie who skimps out on half of Ted's...story, or whatever, and sneaks back in the office near the end of it, then he throws out "You know, rest stops are the bath houses of the 1990s, for many, many gay men. Anyway, we'll delve further into that next week....haha."

"He's just a dentist Kramer.
Yeah? And you're an anti-dentite!"
-Seinfeld

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My favorite is the hitchhiker's schizophrenic rant: "Seven's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. seven dwarves. Seven, man, that's the number. Seven chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby!"

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"He never even looked her up down there! He was down there closing his deal with the Rice-a-Roni people the whole time!"

The sincere belief in his statement and "how he figured it all out" is classic.

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"I know this is the Bible-belt but where I come from, this isn't a big deal."

And it's still true that I kick ass... hiya!

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[deleted]

HE WAS MASTURBATING!! HE WAS MASTURBATING!!

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Dom: You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you? Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. Oh my God, he doesn't flog the dolphin before a big date. Are you crazy? That's like going out there with a loaded gun!

Ted: Oh my god! I've been going out with a loaded gun
Dom: People get hurt that way

Pat Healy: Those goofy bastards are just about the best thing I've got going in this... crazy world.

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After Mary and her mom go up to fix the dress her stepdad goes over to warren and looks at Stiller and just goes: You Son of a bitch!!!!

That always cracks me up

How do you like your brandy, sir?
In a glass.

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Norm: "Well at least I don't blow farts in her face!"
Healy: {Annoyed} "You've been watching us!"

When Ben Stiller's character is leaving the jail the cop who beat the crap out of him extends his hand for a handshake and says "No harm no foul?"

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After Mary and her mom go up to fix the dress her stepdad goes over to warren and looks at Stiller and just goes: You Son of a bitch!!!!

That always cracks me up


lol, I agree. One of the most hilarious moments in the whole movie. The funniest thing is that for such a shy guy like Ted, that probably would be nightmare scenario while visiting some other family's home (to be treated that way).

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When Ben Stiller was hiding out in the bathroom and Mary and her family were all outside, Mary's mom started talking about how she thought he was j*cking off. Then she said something like "Well come on, he was looking at us through the window!", then Ben Stiller said faintly, "I was watching the birds!" I thought it was so funny how he answered, which meant he heard what she was saying the whole time, which meant he heard her saying he was j*cking off. I just thought it was subtle but really friggen funny.

If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why is there a song about it?

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"what..you mean roller pig!"

"they pay by the pound over there...like tuna!"

"he was masturbating!! he was MASTURBATING!!"

"Nepal..oh yeah..i've been there...don't know why i bought the damn place"

"Son of a bitch!" *after ted and warren fight in the beginning in the house*

"I work with retards"

"exceptional my ass"

"i wasn't following you..i was following her..i ALWAYS do :|"

"Ah shut up...cock tease"

"what about Brett..Fav..re"

some of my favourite lines..the whole hitchhiker scene was genius...hilarious

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I agree with OP. The scenes with Ted moving his boss's brothers stuff was so funny. The quadriplegic(I believe he was actually one)was a badass! Just really ironic and unexpected. And the scenes w/the hitcher. "Not even a mouse onna wheel" Same guy that played the cop in D&D, which was 1 of my favorite scenes in that movie.

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"I thought you said she was a real sparkplug!" "No... I said butt-plug. She's heinous."

Rod: Ancestors protect me.
Kevin: May they protect you!

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What about...Brett Fav...re? :D

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