1. Art is a stranger... I'll have no argument over this point, the child was adamant "Art IS a stranger"
2. It's safe for single white females to invite fugitives into their home provided they have a verbal reassurance that the fugitive is an FBI agent
3. Buildings in Chicago do not have safety barriers on the roof
4. Cracking a 'master puzzle' is it's own reward
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11. if you invent a supercode, put it in a magazine and kill the first person who solves it.
12. kill anyone who knows about you killing anyone, unless that person is bruce willis.
13. 9 year old, autistic boys are a danger to 'national security'
14. bruce willis loves jokes about 4-wheel drive commercials
15. if you are bruce willis, you can punch a cop and hold a gun to his head, and your punishment is to be assigned a different job
16. Alec Baldwin's wife thinks he can't cook
17. If you run through a crowded city waving a gun, everybody will panic except for Asian schoolgirls
18. When using formulae in an email password, it's perfectly acceptable to substitute the squared symbol for a regular 2, as long as it's in upper case. Everybody knows this
19. Finding email addresses without the domain was easy in 1998
20. Bruce Willis doesn't want to know about your personal life
21. Everything is connected to everything, but it's secure to dispose of carbon paper casually if it aids the plot.
22. Alec told Bruce to stop touching the wine.
23. The kid thrashes a lot.
24. Simon would instinctively know to run and hide from the man who kills his parents.
25. The assassin would care enough about the phone bill to replace the phone, thereby giving ample time to have Simon run away.
(btw, number 11 made me laugh out loud!!)
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29. If a hired killer is unsuccessful three times there's no need to start doubting him. Invite him along to the final showdown where he can screw up again.The killers union won't let you just fire him.
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Don't know what happened to the deleted posts (besides that they were deleted) so I'll post after the last undeleted Thing
26 - If he kills and/or beats up enough people, Art's status will change from 'Stranger' to 'Friend'
27 - When killing a nerd rat on a crowded Chicago street, don't waste the extra 2 seconds it would take shooting Bruce Willis, who is standing right next to the nerd and has his back to you, even though you spent a good chunk of act one trying to splatter Bruce's vital on a hospital corridor wall.
share28 - People called Stacey automatically seem like they are good people
29 - when Bruce Willis is worried about saving the lives of autistic kids, he recalls the time when he was powerless to prevent a twenty-something bank robber being killed in the process of robbing a bank. These two situations are exactly the same and definitely comparable
Hey goober, where's the meat?
28 - As long as you are holding a gun and dead, you committed suicide, even if the bullet hole is in the middle of your forehead and a simple ballistics test would prove the shot must have been fired from elsewhere.
share31 - A crawl space is a fortress of security, penetrable only by hard-drinking renegade FBI agents
32 - It takes 30 heavily-armed FBI agents 10 minutes to kill a lone gunman from point blank range
"24. Simon would instinctively know to run and hide from the man who kills his parents." ... but not instinctively know that walking towards a large, fast vehicle will kill you.
27. Autism gives you a crippling French inflection. "MommEEEE, DadEEEE!"
33 - Having a mental illness is akin to being a super hero
34 - It's quite easy to save someone from being flattened by a speeding train by briskly walking up to them and pulling them by the collar to safety.
35 - Hospital corridors are generally empty therefore spontaneous gun play is not noticed by anyone until you go outside.
37. Your still able to call 911 even though you have a bullet in your brain.
share38. Waving a gun around in the face of the FBI supervisor, following a hostage stand-off with an armed militia of wackos, is not a good career move for an FBI undercover operative.
share39. Everyone in South Dakota has a southern accent.
40. The name Rashid Halhabi, prior to 911, could pull at your heartstrings when preached by Alec Baldwin.
41. Autistic kids don't play fetch.... But they might with a gun.
42. When going to back up your partner in a violent situation, bring a young woman and a 10 year old autistic kid.
43. If Die-Hard was missing anything,.. I would have to say it's a pre-teen spastic.
44. It may seem that this new convict in your life may not be on the up-and-up, but that special-needs kid he kidnapped seems legit.
45. Make sure you sip hot chocolate really slow because it's hot.
share46. Miko Hughes is annoying
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