The first time I saw the film the line "I'm way past scared. This is somewhere between bed-wetting and a near-death experience." had me laughing so hard I almost fell off the couch.
Another one of my favorite lines is also Rizzo's - "He died? And this is supposed to be a kid's movie!"
“A platypus ... ... [hat is put on] ... PERRY THE PLATYPUS!?!?!”
"The big blue wet thing" and "My pants are filled with starfish" are 2 of my faves. I'd have to watch it again to pick an absolute favorite.
shareI have so many favourite lines, but I think "I'm way past scared. This is somewhere between bed-wetting and a near-death experience" is the best of all too. Love this film.
"Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage"- Madeline Kahn(CLUE, 1985)
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I don't know why, but I also liked this, maybe for how Kermit delivered the line:
"A cook, and a man who lives in a bear's finger"
"Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage"- Madeline Kahn(CLUE, 1985)
"Excuse me. There's no Billy Bones here and I'm not a girl."
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whoa, weird. i came here because i'm showing this movie to my kids right now and Jim delivered that line RIGHT as i read your post.
next thing you know somebody will delivering me the...(hold on a sec, doorbell)
OH NOOOOO - THE BLACK SPOT!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
also - the best line in this movie is
"you don't have to wear a suit...."
or the lead-up to Kermit showing up
"is he bad tempered???!! the man is raging volcano, tormented by inner demons the likes of which mere mortals can not fathom"
"BEWARE RUNNING WITH SCISSORS!!!!"
"we...are standing in a room...WITH A DEAD GUYYYYYYY"
Not a spoken line, but a line from Cabin Fever:
"Cabin fever has affected all aboard/This once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward!" STILL kills me ever time I hear it.
"Ready?" "Ready, Freddy." "Dorothy, they know." RIP BA and LN.
There are so many funny lines in this movie! My sister and I are always quoting them too each other.
"Oooo a pretty little girl"
"I think I smell something burning no?"
"Billy Bones! It is I Blind Pewwwwwww"
"Well it could be worse, we could be stuck in the audience!"
"Dead Tom's always been dead. That's why he's called Dead Tom"
Also the Cabin Fever song.
Last Seen:
Pirates 4:7/10
Tangled: 10/10
Scream 4: 10/10
Waaay late to the game, but I'm surprised no one mentioned:
"Hello, Loooooong John." "Oh no! Him, too?"
One I just thought of for the first time in years, Kermit: "WHO hired this crew!?"
Another one I love during the sailing song:
Gonzo: Every storm we ride is its own reward
Rizzo: And people die by falling overboard!
And yes Cabin Fever, gotta love it! Especially "I've got cabin fever, I think I lost my grip!" "I'd like to get my hands on whoever wrote this script!"
Statler and Waldorf
"Take a cruise you said!"
"Huh?"
"See the world you said!"
"Huh."
"Now we're stuck on the front of this stupid ship!"
"Well it could be worse, we could be stuck in the audience!"
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"I'M not Jimmy Jim Jimmy Jim Jim Jim Jim... HE'S Jimmy Jim Jimmy Jim Jim Jim Jim!"
Jim: I hate my life.
Gonzo: I hate your life, too!
Rizzo: If I had a life, I'd hate it.
"We saved the pig and the frog!"
"Well, it was too late to save the movie!
During roll call:
Sam: Clueless Morgan?
Clueless: huh?
"As long as there has been one true god, there has been killing his name."
The line itself isn't funny, but Tim Curry's delivery of it kills me.
Clueless: This must be a cursed place!
Long John: Now that sounds like an informed opinion.
Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once, everybody lives!share
Everybody here has already posted all my favorite lines, except for this one:
GONZO: I thought pirates had talking parrots as pets.
LONG JOHN: Talking... parrots? o_O
POLLY: What an imagination! First pirates, now talking parrots, what's next--a singing, dancing mouse with his own amusement park??
Supermodels...spoiled stupid little stick figures mit poofy lips who sink only about zemselves.
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I forget how most of it goes, but my own favorite is near the end of the movie, where Miss Piggy & Kermit (if I'm remembering correctly) are tied up, & Miss Piggy starts talking about her bad luck at romance, & she says "I'm starting to see a pattern here."
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