MovieChat Forums > The First Wives Club (1996) Discussion > Favorite lines?

Favorite lines?

posted 19 years ago by actress2414
51 replies | jump to latest

To the people who like this movie...what are all your favorite lines?? I'm curious to see!!

Here are mine:

"You have been yanked, and stiched, and stuffed and pulled...you're a turkey!!"

"I'm not Monique's mother. Angela Lansbury's Monique's mother. Shelley Winters is Monique's mother. Sean Connery is Monique's mother...Wait...I take that back. Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend. He's 300 years old, but he's still a stud!!"

"My Morty becomes this big shot on T.V... He was selling electronics, right? On our 20th wedding anniversary it hits midlife crisis major. He starts working out, he, he grows a moustache, he gets an earring. I said, "Morty, Morty, what are you? A pirate? what's next? A parrot?" And all of a sudden I'm a big drag. I'm holding him back because I won't go rollerblading."

"My, my, the bulimia has certainly paid off!"

"Oh yeah, what did you ever win? A pie eating contest? "Best digestion?"

"Yeah, for once in your life make a decision? Who's your friend? Some Beverly Hills science project?"
"...Or a woman with her own aisle at the supermarket?"

"Bye bye love, hello poptarts!"

"You think just because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings. Well you're wrong, I'm an actress, I have all of them!!"

I love this movie!!

[–] irg19 15 years ago

I can't believe nobody has mentioned this one:

Annie: I gave Aaron a home. I washed his shorts, I ironed them and I starched them.
Brenda: You did????
Annie: Yeah well I mean, I supervised!

Life's too short to live it as a bad person.

[–] christopherbkk 15 years ago

Funnily enough, that last post which mentions that Annie supervised some household chores I thought was the worst line in the movie. It implies that she may have had certain things pretty good and that Aaron may have employed a maid for his stay-at-home wife.
That line didn't fit with the other girls' complaints.

[–] irg19 15 years ago

True, but that's part of what makes the line so funny.

Life's too short to live it as a bad person.

[–] christopherbkk 15 years ago

Really? I don't get it. But the rest of the movie was a blast!

[–] Lil_JujuFruit 15 years ago

When Gunilla is telling Shelly she needs a "decorator of death" and pulls out the business card, I love the way she pronounces his name, like she is seeing it for the first time

Du-arto...feliz

Her delivery is priceless

[–] cinemaqueen 15 years ago

In the beginning Elise chuckles into her glass then later she says.."its a holocaust."

Brenda says: I want him dumped!!By little miss midriff. By that stairmaster,loreal crotch jockey! In front of everyone in the western hemisphere.On the six o' clock news. Ooookaayy!!! And after that of course I want world peace."

Elise: I'm going to say the "F" word... FELONY!"

Brenda: "that's just like me and morty.." who? "Morty" She's Butch!

"Horatio and his sunglasses are gonna kick some butt!!"

[–] Frumious_Bandersnatch_46 14 years ago

[Dr Packman to Elise] If I give you one more face lift you'll be able to blink your lips!

[Catherine to Annie] You are married. You have a daughter. You don't need self-esteem.

[Ivana Trump to all three] Don't get mad; get everything!

[–] Livana_Faolan 14 years ago

"You're 45! If I give you one more face-lift, you're going to be able to blink your lips!"

"There she is. Princess Pelvis!"

"No! Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend! He may be 300 years old, but he's still a stud!"

"You think that because I'm a movie star, I don't have feelings. Well, you're wrong. I'm an actress. I've got all of them!"

BRENDA - What's wrong?
WOMAN - It's my lover. She left me for this younger woman that weighs twelve pounds.
BRENDA - That's just like my Morty.
WOMAN - Who?
BRENDA - Morty.
She shows the woman a picture of Morty.
WOMAN - She's butch.

BRENDA - Where's Shelly?
MORTY - In the car.
BRENDA - Glove compartment?
MORTY - Trunk.

[–] 14 years ago

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[–] filmfan311 13 years ago

its not really a line but when Elise chuckles into her glass at the lunch i DIE every time.

[–] 13 years ago

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[–] 13 years ago

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[–] OldFriendOfTheChristys 9 years ago

"I'm not Monique's mother. Angela Lansbury's Monique's mother. Shelley Winters is Monique's mother. Sean Connery is Monique's mother...Wait...I take that back. Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend. He's 300 years old, but he's still a stud!!"

Doesn't she drunkenly mistakingly substitute "Unique" for "Monique" somewhere in there? I swear I hear it, which is actually what I love most about the scene.

[–] pammyb 8 years ago

LOL Yes! I was waiting on someone to point that out...

[–] PeterBlues (790) 5 years ago

this has to be a chick flick, even though goldie hawn is one of the funniest ladies in movies i never could get hooked on this, anyway, the only moment i thought was funny was when she tells one of the other women "what did you ever win? pie eating contest?", i can say the same thing about sarah jessica parker, the explanation must be it's not a funny movie, notice the guy from "beverly hills cop" plays about the same role here, i also recognise an actor from "married with children" and the first "addams family" movie. there is really a lot of buzz about a sequel to this, if so i hope they keep the same cast. al bundy: - "i'm going to a place where there are only girls and no women", bartender: - "oh, los angeles".

🎥 📽 🎞

she dont smile like you did,
the same attention she wont give,
miss your kindred spirit,
your cheer and playfulness,
a massive loss to my soul,
as i got no one in the eve to play ball.