MovieChat Forums > Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995) Discussion > Things we learned from Demon Knight...

Things we learned from Demon Knight...

posted 15 years ago by nd1433
16 replies | jump to latest

You know how this works...

1: The collectors folks are gonna love Jeryline
2: The best way to introduced your 'real self' is to punch a hole in a sheriffs head/face
3: Small towns often have dumb and useless hick deputies
4: Humans aren't worth the flesh we're printed on
5: The number 7 isn't that lucky (breakers stars)
6: The new collector will catch the new bus
7: Getting the last 'universe key' in the cosmos will lead to a promotion
8: A$$holes don't have friends...
9: Neither do whores...
10: Half a bottle of vodka is enough to take off the pain of your arm being torn off...and stop the bleeding
11: Nothing gets you *beep* up faster than Boilermaker whiskey
12: Cordelia can be called girlfriend instead of whore with dinner and a movie
13: Walley doesn't need anyone else screwing him
14: Roaches nipples are smoking
15: Directors are often dug up

When you talk to God it’s called prayer...when God talks to you it’s called schizophrenia...

[–] macabre_madness 15 years ago

16: You can pick a car lock with a switchblade.
17: Waitresses run around with one shoe on.
18: Shooting demons in the eyes is easy.
19: Killing your husband for his money makes you hot and squishy.
20: Cleaning the stove is an all night affair
21: Guacamole stains are hard to get out.
22: Some keys are just too big for a key chain
23: Demons love ponytails
24: Walley is reading your mail
25: Cordelia gives freebies

[–] big_poppa_hnoudis 15 years ago

26. The guy from Ned and Stacey likes getting his nipples scorched.
27. Billy Zane is an evil piece of *beep* who's cool as hell.
28. Jada Pinkett Smith is here to save us all.
29. Uncle Willy knows how to *beep* party.

Your only as healthy...as...you...feel - [Taxi Driver]

[–] LiteHearted 15 years ago

30. You can be possessed by reading a comic book.
31. When you become possessed your tongue can grow to incredible lengths.
32. The pretty, charming man is always evil and the rugged plain guy is always the misunderstood good one.
33. Demons have fire in their pants.
34. Demons have glow-in-the-dark, radioactive blood.
35. Demons have sharp fingernails.
36. Middle aged black women are sassy.
37. Jeryline's stew can be used to glue the key under the table.
38. You can live long enough to and speak calmly while filling the key with your blood after your heart is ripped out.
39. Demons can say the word "love" in regular conversation, but can't pronounce it when they are saying "I l-l-l.. you."
40. If you anoint something and then shoot through it, it breaks the seal of protection and the demons come after you.
41. If you get your arm ripped off, it will be offered to you on a silver platter, on a bed of lettuce if you agree to join the "dark side".
42. If you're a little boy, you will skip looking at the naked boobie women hanging out with Willie to check out how you become a demon and rip someone's heart out instead.
43. When you spit blood on demons and melt their fake faces, they become gigantic pteradactyl skeleton creatures and burn.
44. All small towns have dark, cobwebby tunnels running underneath them.
45. If Billy Zane shaves his head for a role, it ends up falling out completely.
46. If you are a tiny, 5 ft. tall woman wrapped in a shower curtain and dragged roughly down a flight of stairs, it won't hurt enough for you to cry out and spit out/swallow a mouth full of blood.
47. Demons love to do the tango.

[–] Reddragon840021 15 years ago

48. When hit by a bullet, the front of a car will automatically catch on fire.

[–] Whooligan151 15 years ago

49. That eyeball Sh*t only works on low level demons.

[–] poisonthewell515 15 years ago

50. You can be a hero if you call a demon a *beep* face"
51. You can still flip off someone without having a half of your arm

[–] RomeClone 15 years ago

52. Hat Store

[–] brimst0ne13 14 years ago

53. the postman ran out of money for bullets.

54. if the grenades are on a suicide belt, you HAVE to commit suicide with them.

55. a demon can rip half your arm off like a super clean cut.

56. for a 100+ year old man, Brayker has no real hand to hand skills against little boys.

57. one vial of blood lasts 78 years.

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] suburbannightmare 14 years ago

59. This land is hereby.........condemned.
60. Cats can be possessed, too.
61. Brayker's not judging.
62. Clean gloves mean the oven hasn't been cleaned.
63. Cordelia is NOT afraid of Roach.
64. Offering shiny quarters won't put a child at ease.

"I've SEEN things you people wouldn't believe...."

[–] salrlopez 13 years ago

65. When someone says "get that pussy off the table", their talking about the cat!

[–] breathfromanother (828) 6 years ago

^Ha!

[–] TheBassLebowski 10 years ago

66. Billy Zane lies...just ask Roach

[–] Dream_Demon 10 years ago

67. Billy Zane's junk is made of fire.

68. Billy Zane is a master illusionist.

69. Dick Miller is a lecherous boozehound.

70. William Sadler, whether playing a good guy or a bad guy, is a badass nonetheless.

Welcome to my Nightmare- Freddy Krueger

[–] ajmotion 10 years ago

71. Irene has a husband.

[–] Jpazz 9 years ago

Children that are possessed can pass through the seal, whereas other demons cannot.

You look my size when you're sitting in a truck.