1.Biscuit or cake is a really hard choice
2.If you meet Richard Wilson, DO NOT, BY ANY MEANS, SAY "I DONT BELIEVE IT"
3.Crows are pesky glasses theves
4.Keep drunken old priests away fro living room windows
5.Keep elderly house keepers away form window ledges
6.Do not let the new milkman around your girfriend/wife/mum/sister/gran/housekeeper
7.They don't make comedies like they used to :(
Please add more....
243) My lovely horse is a pony no.......more
244) Fr Stack can put your head through the wall
245) The song "Shaft" can cure depression
246) Radiohead can cause a relapse of aforementioned depression
How dare they sack me I'm Henry Sellers!!! I'm HENRY SELLLLLLLLEEEEEEERRRRRSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
247. It doesn't matter what day it is. There is always time for a nice cup of tea.
http://uk.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=38195072share
248. DRINK!!!
God damn these electric sex pants.
249. There's a special tea for Sheep.
250. Men don't wear perfume, expect Father Bigley.
http://uk.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=38195072share
251. Dougal doesn't need to go to hospital when he gets hit by lightning - balloons just stick to him.
252. It's too big for the milk float.
253. Father Jessup really does want to die of thirst.
254. Nuns are people too.
255. Bishop Brennan has to be in Rrrrr-ome tommorow, for an audience with the Holy Father!
256. .. But don't worry, Len. They repeat those shows all the time.
257. When the weather is bad, they store the roads in a warehouse on the East side of the island.
258. Mary has a lovely bottom.
259. Father Ted doesn't know what a clitoris is.
260. Father Ted doesn't like Icey Tea or Scoopy Scoopy Dog Dog.
261. Don't play your guitar in front of Father Jack.
262. Mrs. Doyle wants you to get your bo||ocks out of her face.
263. Father Jack crashes out of the window when he wants to go for a walk.
264. Rabbits are hairy Japanese b@stards.
265. Father Ted's ethnic diversity slideshow was a big pile of crap.
266. Showing controversial films will guarantee box office results.
http://uk.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=38195072share
That Stalin is in heaven
________
Jesus, that's really super... How'da nitwit like you get so tasteful?
1. McGuire's are not only from Scotland.
2. "Drink" is Feckin' Good!
3. When on Holiday, never forget your blow up swim duck.
4. Italians can play soccer well into their 80's without remote control.
5. Lovely horse's dread locks blow in the wind.
6. Hitler didn't die, but is alive and well and living in Father Ted's window.
7. Don't get lost in caves with over-exuberantly poofy priests.
8. Yes, Hamsters in Ireland really do ride miniature bicycles.
9. Priests do not gamble. (yes they do).
10. Mrs. Doyle has a cute litte "arse."
277. Mrs. Doyle can use a bricklayer's hod.
278. Mrs. Doyle is also skilled in interior design.
279. Expect the unexpected on the 13th green.
280. Rabbits can look like Harvey Kietel
281. Priests and fascists are nothing alike fascists wear black and tell people what to do whereas priests never mind
I started this thread in 2008... cant believe its still going on.
282.Pat Mustard, given half the chance, would shag you mother, sister, wife, nan, aunties.... any female you know. And he would get them all pregnant with hairy babies.
283. Isn't it amazing that fella from nirvana survived shooting himself in the head...
284.If you don't have time to fill the forms in to withdraw money from the post office, sure a shotgun will do just as well.
285. July 19th is the day the Ice Age ended.
"Suffocation waking in a sweat. Scared to fall asleep again in case the dream begins again."
286. You can rub the writing off every black board
287. Being inside a very dark cave is just like being blind
288. Niamh Connolly is a vegetarian
289. Erosion is bad for cliffs
290. It's a different shark in Jaws 2
291. Craggy Island has a photography shop which has an enlarger capable of doing a 10'x10' print overnight - impressive for such a small place.
share292. 'The old Heh Heh' is up the stairs and it's first on the left.
293. The island itself is a kinda landmark really, for ships and that. The general rule is if your heading away from it you're going in the right direction.
294. It takes a completely ludicrous situation to find a use for a radio controlled wheelchair and a pair of joke arms.
295. During Leap-Years Father Jack is very much affected by the changing of the seasons. For a short while a marvellous serenity enters his life and he is at one with nature.
296. Dougal's favourite Euro song is by Nin Huegen and the Huegenotes, a group that came 5th in A Song for Norway in 1976.
297. The ants are back.
298. Father Ted really doesn't want to dress as Mother Teresa for the all priests look alike show again.
299. You can praise god with sleep, it's a way of thanking him for a tiring day.
300!!! (better make this one a good one). We should all be very careful on the mainland. There's so much crime around. Arsonists and muggers everywhere. Mrs. Doyle's friend Mrs. O'Dwyer was robbed last week!
301) Do not, by any means, say Feck to Bishop Brennan.
302) Or address him as Len, either.
My quizzes: http://www.funtrivia.com/profile_quizzes.cfm?player=Cuishshare
303) Glamorous Irish lady novelists describing their sex life can give you an embarrassingly painful hard-on.
304] As Irish clergymen go, Ian Paisley is quite sane.
305} Paunchy, sleazy-looking, middle-aged men in moustaches working as milkmen enjoy wild sex with numerous comely Irish nousewives.
206) Bishops love Sci-Fi!
--
Grammar:
The difference between knowing your sh**
and knowing you're sh**.
207) Always have a Bast*** List ready for any awards ceremony. Cut down on the length of the speech by having categories such as Liars, Backstabbers and Twats.
share306) If all else fails you can always say another mass
307) never trust a priest with the name Damien
308) Puppies are great for wiping your face
309) A perfectly square piece of dirt on the window is bound to lead to some form of racism
310) Robbing someone’s whistle is a serious criminal offence
311) and if wrongly accused of stealing such whistle, come up with a plausible reason for why you would
312) when taking a dint out of a vehicle, don’t be a perfectionist
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