I see what they were going for, they didn't achieve it tho

Rob Reiner’s “North” has a history all its own. Quite possibly the most reviled movie of the 90’s, it redefined the word “hate” and how many times you should really use it in a sentence. I had never actually seen the film til now which is odd considering it has Bruce Willis in an easter bunny costume and who wouldn’t find that adorably funny. I was also a fan of Elijah Wood.

And oddly enough I thought I had discovered something here. The film is broad, quite possibly one of the broadest ever made, but I think you can see the fable amidst the silliness. It feels like it was written from a picture book- the adults in the film present a long line of cartoons while the kids, of course, are much smarter. And what Reiner does with it isn’t totally unfunny but he does eventually lose its way.

It has Wood playing North, an overachiever in everything from sports, theater, and academics. His Tevye is lauded by the school paper. But even with all this, his parents (Jason Alexander, Julia Louis Dreyfuss) are inattentive and too wrapped up in their own lives. Other parents love the kid, which gives North an idea. What if he became a free agent; going on the road to audition the perfect parent for his needs.


Over the top? Sure. But a fun concept nonetheless for anyone who’s always wished for greater understanding from their own parents. The situation is nicely set up too. An ambulance chasing lawyer (Jon Lovitz) wins North his emancipation and soon every kid in the neighborhood is making their parents sweat. North’s parents are so shocked they fall into a coma and the world turns upside down with one kid (Mathew McCurley) in particular planning a New World Order where kids are on top.


There are a handful of funny scenes here. Alan Arkin riffs in amusing, fast talking style as the judge. Then there are the auditions, all of which meant to prove to North that new isn’t always better. Dan Aykroyd and Reba McEntire are amusing as a pair of stereotypical Texans where of course there’s even a hoe down during dinner. Next a scene with Hawaian parents has a very funny line about how, in Hawaii, North will be guaranteed straight A’s.


Then there’s Willis, working as sort of a Jiminy Cricket character here, although confusingly he’s always playing a different person. In one scene he’ll be a cowhand, another a beach bum, another a second rate comedian. He’s there to guide North in his travels, though it’s odd that he seems to start North on this adventure, only to spend the next several scenes telling him it’s a fool’s errand.


Odder still is that while Reiner gets some decent laughs out of some of these vignettes, he doesn’t allow a wonderful cast that also includes Graham Greene, Kathy Bates, and John Ritter to make more meaningful impressions. They’re not here to be touching or offer much in the way of lessons, but rather to play exaggerated versions of Eskimos and suburban Ward Cleavers.

But even then Reiner can’t stay on top of the ridiculous fantasy he wants the film to be and while it does a decent job of lightly poking fun at different cultures without being offensive, he begins to lose his way in that too. A scene involving Eskimos sending their old grandfather off to die hits all the bases of awful- not funny and a heinous stereotype not even common in the culture. And a subplot which takes up the last third of the film has one man actually chasing North around New York City with a gun. Where is the fun and fantasy in that?

Ultimately, why this movie seems so allergic to quiet moments of real, touching sincerity is baffling to me. Silly jokes and people are fine for a while but Reiner should have known every movie needs a heart and “North” is always too much of a globe-hopping cartoon to make the moralizing really stick. I understand what it was trying to do, and for that I don’t hate it, but i’m in agreement it should have been done better.