This movie is 20 yrs old, but watching it with 2013 eyes wouldn't you think of a woman spying on a man and his kid creepy? You hear him on the radio, you manipulate to get his address, you fly there and spy in him, etc.
I know it's a romcom and reality needs to be somewhat suspended. It's just odd to me that what I thought so charming before is now somewhat icky.
I think it's the general attitude in the 90's, you know?
Sorta like how people like to claim there was "no pedophilia" back in the 50's, therefore it was a more innocent time. So you had Comic books where Bruce Wayne (batman) could sleep in the same bed as his young ward without any indecent activity going on, and nobody would bat an eye.
And Goober from The Andy Griffith show was actually considered a cute dumb guy, one that was totally acceptable as a friend for Opie and other kids to hang out. Today? Most would probably see him as a mentally challenged man who was creepy for wanting to hang out with kids all the time, when he wasn't kissing up to Opie's dad and hanging out with the barber. Most parents would warn kids to stay away from him.
So when you think about things like that... you have to consider the fact that until late 90's it was the general attitude that every single woman are supposed to be delicate flowers who nurture children. So when the scandals with female teachers having sex with students broke out in the late 90's, Everyone was like: "Whoa, Females can be creepy Sex offenders too?!"
And now that Feminism has pretty much educated everyone that Women are like Men too in that they can have the same sexual desires, etc... and can be just as dangerous, Meg Ryan's actions would be seen in a less favorable light.
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I honestly thought that women in the 70's and 80's were portrayed better than they were in the 90's and even the '00 generally. it seems that when the popularity of feminism waned a little bit, and people started railing against feminism... the media in the 90's and '00 started to backslide a little bit.
Take comic books again (yes, I'm a geek I know). Lois Lane was at her very best in the 70's to 80's. She was a strong feminist without being bitchy, were funny and snarky. and she really could be nice when she wanted to.
Nowadays? The writers kind of alternate between writing her as this total bitch, because all feminists must be angry all the time! Or... they write her as being this kind of self-absorbed chick who always gets herself into trouble just because she didn't know any better (kinda like the lois of the 50's). Basically, just a flat background character that's trot out when Clark needs a love interest for a story.
The TV show Smallville's Lana Lang wasn't any better. Clark's high school sweetheart and co-star for most of the series. She wore A LOT of pink, often acted like a helpless damsel in distress. And she often got her way just by crying and talking about her totally tragic past every other episode. The thing is, the writers and other characters kept on claiming that she was a real feminist, just because she was totally used to having her way all the time. Right..... That's not a feminist, that's just a little girl with a strong sense of self-entitlement.
But to the back to the topic of stalking... I think Cultural norms do play a lot into it. I don't know if you knew this, but in a lot of old romantic stories from the 30's to 50's, There was a lot of men stalking women. and it was considered "romantic". whereas a woman stalking a man was considered pathetic because she was "too desperate" or something like that. I think it was basically to do with men being assertive, dominant, etc.
It seems that we're kind of backsliding to that too, with stupid movies like twilight where a creepy-ass 200 year old vampire stalks a teenage girl around and that's apparently romantic. oh, and he still goes to school full of teenage girls despite being 200 years old and having enough education in the entire world. yeah, that's not alarming at all.
In fact you can find out how utterly pervasive this kind of thing is by reading this page: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StalkingIsLove
(warning, will suck up a lot of your time!)
Yes! I think this every time I see it, that she's basically just a stalker.
shareShe did for sure but it wasn't that bad.
Who doesn't google people they have a crush on these days, she just used a fax.
And the spying wasn't intentional, she went there to speak to him but she lost her nerve.
I think there's a bit of an over-reaction to refer to her going to see him then chickening out before she talks to him as "stalking." I mean, how many of us didn't watch someone we thought was attractive for a while...in cognito...to find out what we can about them, to determine if they are really who we want to get to know and while getting up the nerve to talk to them. Maybe we asked some friends what they knew about that person...you know to check for any "obvious" defects.
I was more concerned with how she treated Walter. I mean, she did all this while being engaged to him and only tells him AFTER she has decided to meet Sam. I would think most folks would feel uncomfortable if someone did that to them.
But, I watch it occasionally and apply a healthy dose of suspended disbelief. It is, after all, just a story.
She definitely stalked the *beep* outta him. Called and hung up to get his last name, looked him up in a computer database, sent a private detective to take pics, got semi-jealous and disappointed of the woman (or "ho", in her words) she thought he was seeing, gets disappointed and agitated once she receives a positive response... This is not right. I realize this is a work of fiction, but you don't - regardless of your gender - do any of that in real life unless you're a sick psycho stalker...
There is a huge difference between Googling someone who willingly puts their info out there and what she did. She was incredibly sneaky.
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Who are you carrying all those bricks for?
If she routinely investigated people for her job, this may not have seemed so creepy to her. She did feel guilty about lying to her bf, tho.
shareLet's just say, if the roles were reversed, if they showed Sam tracking Annie down like that, the movie would come off creepy. It would be the perfect formula for a thriller like The Watcher.
shareShe's not a stalker because she's not a guy. Only men can be stalkers. When guys do it, it's stalking. When women do it, it's a romantic comedy. I pooped my pants.
shareI could get her looking him up on the database. Don't lie - you've looked up people you've had a crush on.
But her going all the way to Seattle, sitting in her car by the road, and watching him play with Jonah --- that wasn't right