A Christmas Carol - Movies Style - A Fanfic...
This was written a few years ago along with my good friend, JustVic, who lives in the apartment above mine. JustVic totally loves Christmas, especially Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. She has a number of different DVD versions of the story and one day we started discussing which parts of each move we liked best--which Bob, which Ebenezer, which Belle, etc.--and that inspired this story. Each night, we'd watch the same part of the story on each movie and JustVic would decide which one she liked best, and then I'd fit it into our tale, and then she'd get to edit it. This is the version we came up with. Because we used Gonzo's wonderful narration as the one constant throughout, I thought that Muppet Christmas Carol fans might enjoy it. Hope you do!
DISCLAIMER
This fic is based on movies that include Ebenezer Scrooge played by the following:
Michael Caine
Alastair Sims
George C Scott
Albert Finney
Patrick Stewart
Vanessa Williams (playing Ebony Scrooge)
Scrooge McDuck (with Bob Cratchit played by Mickey Mouse!)
Mr. Magoo
Fred Flintstone
and includes direct lines from those fantastic movies.
This story was written just for fun and the enjoyment of the members of this site. No infringement of any rights are intended.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL--MOVIE-STYLE
Based on the wonderful story by the incomparable Charles Dickens
Freely Adapted by JustEs and JustVic
Old Jacob Marley was dead, as dead as a doornail. This must be distinctly understood or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am about to relate. The registry was signed by his partner, Ebenezer Scrooge, and Scrooge’s name was good on the Exchange for anything he chose to put his hand to, so Jacob Marley was certainly dead.
Marley died on Christmas Eve. Scrooge never cared for Christmas to begin with, considering it a total waste of his time, and now, seven years after his partner’s death, he cared for it even less. Now he was a shrewd money-lender who charged people a fortune to live or work in cold dark buildings and then threw them out into the cold when they could not pay, never giving them a second thought. But Scrooge liked the cold. He was hard and sharp as a flint, secretive and self-contained. as solitary as an oyster. If awards were given out for the meanest man in the city, the award would most certainly go to him. He believed that there was only one good thing to be said for the season--people spent so much time, preparing feasts, giving parties, spending the mortgage money on frivolities, that one might say December was the foreclosure season, harvest time for money-lenders.
Now on this Christmas Eve, old Scrooge sat at his desk, counting his money and preparing to go out and collect rent, when he caught his clerk, Bob Cratchit, sneaking towards the coal bin, which Scrooge miserly kept in the relative warmth of his own office.
“CRATCHIT!” he bellowed. “You have your coal for the day and there will be no more!”
“Begging your pardon, sir, I simply thought, sir, since it is Christmas Eve, sir—“
“Since it is Christmas Eve, this would be a disastrous time for you, Cratchit, to find yourself without a position!”
“Oh, yes, sir! You are absolutely right, sir! Forgive me, sir!” and Cratchit slowly began to return to the so-cold outer office.
”And do not forget it! If you would spend more time tending to your job, you would not have time to feel the cold!” Then Scrooge returned to his counting, muttering, “Oh, blasted help situation! Next thing you know, they will want a featherbed and tea service! Now where was I?”
But before Scrooge could count another coin, who should walk in, but a handsome young man, smiling broadly, eyes twinkling. "A Merry Christmas to you, Uncle! God save you!" It was Scrooge's nephew, Fred Holywell, his only living relative.
"Christmas? Bah, humbug! What reason have you to be so merry? You are poor enough!"
"Come, then. What reason have you to be so miserable? You are rich enough."
"Bah, humbug! What is Christmastime to you but a time for finding yourself a year older and not an hour richer? If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!" and Scrooge rubbed his hands and cackled as he said it. "Much good has it ever done you, Nephew!"
"There are many good things from which I have not made money, including Christmas, but I am sure I have always thought of Christmas as a good time. Apart from its sacred name, it is a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time--when people seem to open up their shut-up hearts freely. Therefore, Uncle, though it has never put an ounce of gold in my pocket, I believe that Christmas has done me good and will do me good, so I say, 'God bless it!' "
During this speech, Bob Cratchit had risen from his stool and came to the doorway of the office, clearly touched by Fred's words. "Here! Here!"
"CRATCHIT! We will see how much you enjoy Christmas in the unemployment line!"
"Yes, sir!" and Bob ran back to his desk.
"Why be angry at Bob, Uncle? It is I who raised your ire, and it is only because you agree with me that Christmas has certainly done me no harm."
"No, your wayward nature has done that. That and your marriage."
"My marriage was the making of me."
"Your ruin, you mean."
"Why do you not come and see for yourself, if you do not believe me? Come, Uncle, dine with Janet and me tomorrow night."
"No, thank you."
"Why not?"
"Why did you marry against my wishes?"
"Why? Why, because I fell in love."
"Love? Bah, humbug! That is the only thing worse than Christmas! And you marry a woman as penniless as yourself, also against my wishes. Good afternoon!"
"But you never came to see me before my marriage, why give it as a reason now? I ask nothing of you. Why can we not be friends?"
"Leave, sir, at once! You keep Christmas in your way and let me keep it in mine!"
"But you do not keep it!"
"Then let me leave it alone! Good afternoon!"
"Merry Christmas, Uncle!"
Scrooge's face grew red as he yelled, "Good afternoon!"
Fred laughed. "And a Happy New Year!"
Even as Scrooge roared, "HUMBUG!", Fred ducked into
the outer office, where Bob Cratchit attempted to stay warm by keeping his hands near the candle.
"A Merry Christmas to you, Mister Fred, and to your lady."
"And a Merry Christmas to you, Bob. How is your lady and all of the assorted little Cratchits?"
"Well, sir, very well."
"Chomping at the bit for Christmas to begin, eh?"
"Oh, yes, sir, very eager, sir."
"And how is the little lame one? What is his name?"
"Tim, sir."
"Yes, that is right. And how is he?"
"We are in high hopes that he is getting much better, sir."
"Good. Well, a very Merry Christmas to them all!"
"Thank you, sir, thank you very much, sir. A Merry Christmas to you and your lady, sir, I am sure."
As they spoke, Scrooge muttered to himself, "There is another fellow, my clerk, with fifteen shillings a week and a wife and family and talking about Merry Christmas!" and he shook his head in disbelief, as he began counting his money again.
But again the door opened, this time to let in two gentlemen, one tall and thin with a bright red scarf wrapped around his neck, the other short and portly. "Scrooge and Marley, I assume. Do we have the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley?" asked the portly gentleman.
"Who are you?" Scrooge demanded from his office.
"We are from the Victoria Charity Association. We would like to talk with you about a donation."
"Charity!" cried Fred, winking at Bob. "Welcome! That jolly old gentleman in the inner office is Mr. Scrooge. He is very generous with charities."
"NEPHEW!" roared Scrooge in outrage.
The two gentlemen approached Scrooge's desk with Fred following them, the portly gentleman beginning, "At this festive time of the year, Mr. Scrooge, it is more than usually desirable that we should help the poor."
"Why?"
"It is at Christmastime that want is most keenly felt and abundance enjoyed."
"Are there no prisons?" Scrooge wanted to know.
"Plenty of prisons," replied the portly gentleman, as the tall one frowned.
"Are the workhouses still in operation? And the treadmill and Poor Law?"
"They are," the portly gentleman replied as the tall one's frown grew. "Still, I wish I could say they are not." and the tall one nodded frantically.
Scrooge smiled a smile that had no joy in it. "Oh, I was afraid from what you had said before that something had happened to stop them in their useful course."
The portly gentleman took out a pen and a small book with a flourish as he explained to Scrooge, "A few of us are trying to raise a fund to buy the poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth. What shall we put you down for?"
"Nothing."
"Oh, you wish to remain anonymous?"
"NO! I WISH TO BE LEFT ALONE! I do not keep Christmas merry myself--"
Fred grinned. "That is certainly true."
"--and I can not afford to give to make others merry."
"That is certainly not true."
Scrooge turned away from the two gentleman to glare at Fred. "Do you not have somewhere else to go, my dear nephew?"
"Sadly I do, so I shall make my donation," and he dropped some coins into the cup the taller man held, and both men cried out their thanks. "And leave you to make yours!" and tipping his cap to Bob, Fred left.
Scrooge attempted to go back to his counting. The two gentlemen waited for a few minutes, then the taller one made a noise. When Scrooge looked up, the portly one asked, "About the donation, sir?"
"I know how to treat the poor. My taxes pay for the establishments I mentioned and those who are badly off must go there."
The taller man shook his finger at Scrooge, while the portly man looked totally scandalized. "Many can not go there; many would rather die."
"If they would rather die, they had better do it and decrease the surplus population. Besides, it is not my business."
"Is it not, sir?" the portly one asked.
"No, it is enough for me to mind my own business rather than minding others. Mine occupies me constantly. Good afternoon, sirs!" and shaking their heads, the two gentlemen departed, leaving Scrooge to return to his counting.
As they left, Bob Cratchit looked up at the clock. It was only five o'clock; he still had two hours to go. He knew that around this time, his dear wife, Emily, would be going out to buy the goose that would be the family's Christmas feast. He desperately wished he could afford to buy them a turkey, especially since all of the children had been so very good all year long, but he knew he could not, although he swore to himself that some day he would.
He also knew that after Emily bartered the price down as far as she could, she would go out and go to the toy shop which was right next to the butcher shop.
There, their youngest son, Tiny Tim, would be leaning on his crutch, staring at all the toys. Bob also wished he could buy at least one of those beautiful toys for each of his five children, especially one for Tiny Tim, who was so very sick, but he also knew that was not to be, but again he swore that someday he would.
Then he smiled. Deep in his heart, he knew that even without a turkey or presents beneath the tree, his family would have a glorious Christmas, because unlike Scrooge, they would share it together.
Sure enough, at that exact moment, Emily Cratchit bustled up to their youngest child. "Come along, Tiny Tim, my dear. There, did you have a lovely time looking at all the wonderful things?"
"Yes, thank you, Mama."
Emily looked through the window. "Well, my little love, which one do you like best, eh?"
"All of them!" cried Tiny Tim in delight.
"Good boy! But why not just one in particular?"
"Well, you told me that I can have none of them, so why not like all of them?"
Emily smiled. "Tiny Tim, my dear, you are a philosopher and a gentleman. Now let us get ourselves home. This goose will not pluck itself!"
As they began to walk, Tiny Tim asked, "Did you get a big goose, Mama?"
Emily smiled. "The biggest goose you ever did see. As big as you and as fat as a beanpole. Just wait until your father sees it. His eyes will pop right out of his head, and he will forget all about that horrid old Mr. Scrooge."
Tiny Tim laughed, but then he had to pause, laboring to catch his breath. His mother watched him anxiously. "You are not feeling too tired, are you, dear?"
"Oh, no, not a bit, Mama."
Emily smiled sadly, knowing better. "If your father was here, he would carry you home on his shoulder."
"I love having a ride on his shoulder."
"And he loves giving you that ride, but that old Mr. Scrooge will keep him working in that cold, dark office all the way until 7:00, Christmas Eve or no Christmas Eve, the old miser."
Meanwhile, the husband of one and the father of the other continued to work, writing up the foreclosure notices that were to go out the next day, dreading the idea of those people being thrown out of their homes on Christmas Day. But he knew from past Christmases that it was better not to complain. The one time he had reminded Mr. Scrooge that it was Christmas, Mr. Scrooge told him that very well, he could gift-wrap the notices. Bob still shuddered to think about it.
Finally the bell tolled seven. Bob hopped off his stool and went into Mr. Scrooge's office. "Excuse me, sir, but it is seven o'clock, sir."
Mr. Scrooge continued to work, waiting until the bell finished tolling seven times before looking up. "Correct, Cratchit."
"Uh, I do not wish to be impertinent, Mr. Scrooge, sir, but would it be too much of a bother for me to have my wages, sir?"
"The trouble with you, Cratchit," Mr. Scrooge groused as he rose from his chair, "is that you only think of pleasure. Pleasure and squandering money."
"Yes, sir."
Mr. Scrooge walked over to a wall, where he took down a painting, revealing a safe. Twirling the knob, making sure that his body blocked Bob's view, he opened the safe. In the safe there were many drawers, each with their own lock. Taking a ring of keys from his inner pocket, he carefully chose one and used it to unlock one of the drawers. He opened it and reached in to bring out a small bag. Closing and re-locking all of the doors, he brought the bag over to Bob, opened it and slowly began counting out fifteen shillings, finding it hard to release each one, muttering as he did.
Once Bob had the coins in his hands, he then reminded his master, "I have a holiday, tomorrow, sir."
Mr. Scrooge glared at him. "I suppose you will want the whole day off?"
"If qu..qu..quite convenient, sir," stammered Bob.
"It is not convenient, sir," Scrooge growled, "and it is not fair. If I were to hold back a half-a-crown for it, you would feel yourself ill-used. And yet, you do not feel me ill-used, when I pay for no work."
"It is only once a year, sir."
"A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every twenty-fifth of December! Be here all the earlier next morning!"
"Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! A Merry Christmas, Mr. Scrooge, sir!"
"Take your infernal Merry Christmas and be gone from here!"
"Yes, sir, begging your pardon, Mr. Scrooge, I only meant--Good night, sir!" Bob grabbed his coat and his hat and his scarf and ran off, Mr. Scrooge's "Bah, humbug!" still ringing in his ears.