WOrst movie I have ever seen in my life

This is bad on so many levels!

The most egregious cinematic failure is that we have to suffer not one, but two of that insufferable ponce Jon Clit Van Douche. He's the worst actor in the world, and I'd love to wipe that smug grin off his cheesy face.

With his dumb accent, and goofy looking face. Van Dongle with his stupid splits. Does he need to do the splits in every movie!? It's so lame, he looks like a girl with his ineffective splits! And his fake wimpy kicks. Can Van Douche beat a dude up without even having to kick? Can he take down 5 guys, barely moving? Can he do Aikido.........NO! His face just annoys me

We bumped into each other in a restaurant, and I immediately challenged him to a fight right there and then. Wimpy Jon Clot Van Nozzle laughed in my face!

I could tell he was scared, and he muttered something about his wife and kids standing behind him. I didn't care, mine were too, they've seen me beat up loads of guys, and are used to witnessing baddassary on the regular. Alphas do what Alphas do, top of the food chain, I could eat that little wimp for breakfast, and he knows it. Anyway, he skulked off to his table laughing and said something about organising a ring fight. Who does he think he is, I'm from the streets, guys like me throw down anywhere and everywhere. I eat from the street, sleep in the street, sweat, blood and tears, and cum in the street. He's too old anyway, past it, a dinosaur unlike me whose never changed one bit, I'm the same man I was 30 years ago.