This movie is ridiculous


Though I have always liked it for the humor.

Some examples of absurdity:

1. The probe is supposedly intelligent, or at least, created by intelligence, yet it didn't know that its transmissions would wreak havoc on the planet? Not only was there not enough intelligence to predict such a thing, but there wasn't enough to detect it while it was happening either.

2. Uhura detects whale song from orbit. Not only do sound waves not travel in space, but even if there were some magical way to detect them without dropping a microphone down into the atmosphere, there's no way you're going to pick out whale song among the unfathomable level of noise present in a major city, without knowing exactly where to look for it.

3. According to Scotty, regenerating dilithium crystals can't be done in the 23rd century, even though it is as easy as collecting some nuclear fission radiation, and the device to do so can be cobbled together from whatever happens to be aboard the average Klingon ship. No one in the 23rd century ever thought of that, even though it took Spock all of 10 seconds to think of it. I guess this "discovery" puts a damper on the value of dilithium crystals and associated mining operations in the future.

4. The crew of the "nuclear wessel" detects a "power drain" while Chekov and Uhura are collecting radiation, even though they are only collecting radiation that has already escaped through the shielding that would otherwise just get absorbed or settle somewhere on or outside of the ship. That radiation is always escaping whether someone is collecting it or not. It would be like detecting a "water drain" if someone happened to be filling a cup with water coming out of their bilge pump.

5. Uhura detects Chekov at the hospital, but they can't simply beam him back to the ship? Even if for some reason they don't know his location precisely enough to beam him back at that point, once Kirk and company are right there in the operating room with him, they certainly could have beamed them back.

6. McCoy ridiculing the doctor who planned to evacuate Chekov's epidural hematoma:

"My God, man, drilling holes in his head is not the answer. The artery must be repaired."

Okay, genius, what are you going to do with the hematoma (blood clot) that's still applying pressure to the brain after the artery is repaired? Beam it out of there? I didn't know that little pocket-sized Heal-O-Matic was also a transporter. In any event, drilling a small hole in the skull to evacuate the hematoma is a sound procedure; I know because I had that exact condition (epidural hematoma) after a roll-over car accident in 1992, and the exact procedure mentioned by the doctor in this movie (evacuation of epidural hematoma) saved my life.

7. The probe receiving George and Gracie's whale song from outer space (see #2).

8. The whole idea that whales are intelligent and capable of anything beyond the most rudimentary "thoughts" and forms of communication that plenty of other critters are also capable of. They aren't even smart enough to avoid whaling ships. If they were even smart enough to "spread the word" among themselves that ships of any kind are best avoided, they wouldn't be in a mess to begin with, but that is far too complex a thought for them to comprehend. Their reputedly "intelligent" cousins, dolphins, aren't smart enough to avoid tuna nets, so we have to adjust our method of tuna fishing so the dumbasses don't constantly get tangled up and drown in the nets. Yes, they can learn "tricks", but so can dogs, elephants, monkeys, apes, and plenty of other creatures.


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Thanks for the post. Food for thought.

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the 'time travel' thing got me. Just ridiculous.

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Time travel is fine; it is part of the sci-fi premise of the movie.

I don't dance, tell jokes or wear my pants too tight, but I do know about a thousand songs.

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My apologies; I was being sarcastic.

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Perhaps you are taking the absurdity too seriously, for the sake of an adventure film. Interesting points, however in the context of the films story and the message it was giving, they are incongruous:

1/ It was an ancient probe that needed a response from the whales. It didn't need to be intelligent enough to know about the havoc it was creating on Earth. That was incidental. Since humans had made them extinct, it was in a sense creating a consequence of catastrophic proportions and all due to humans. Yes, it was a sledgehammer message; but so what.

2/The noise and sound waves were sensed, due to Hollywood manipulating science for the sake of entertainment. Did you want to watch 2001 A Space Odyssey with classical music and heavy breathing instead?

3/Perhaps humans in the 23rd Century weren't as logical Spock and once returned to future Earth, he could then teach them how to regenerate Dilithium Crystals. They can still mine for them, only now they would know how to regenerate them and preserve the crystal resource.

4/The escaping radiation may have been escaping at higher level than normally detected. And of course for the sake of the plot point to add some suspense to the proceedings, so Chekov could be captured.

5/Wasn't the transmission damaged or something and wasn't a beaming device needed. We also had to have some fun as an audience. Must pay more attention next time I view this scene.

6/You'd be surprised at what a pocket sized Heal-O-Matic can do in the 23rd century. Because of your traumatic experience, doesn't mean you have to expect Chekov to go through the same experience as you if not necessary.

7/The probe was directing an immense energy surge towards earth looking for a response. Whatever it was capable of doing, it's energy was picking up the whale sound and signal from earth itself and transmitting it back to the probe. It knew what it was doing and could even perhaps be more intelligent than you claim to be. 😏

8/They live in the moment and communicate telepathically, in a manner far more advanced and superior than humans. Humans aren't intelligent enough to see what they are doing to earth, in spite of all their own intelligence. The whales and dolphins are communicating within their own environment and too whom and what for? Having manmade traps in their path, is not something that is supposed to happen or hinder their evolvement. Whales even beach themselves. Why? Self-sacrifice. Is if for us to understand? What man does need to understand, is respect, care and concern for the planet, with it's variety of assorted life forms and vast astonishing environments.


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1/ It was an ancient probe that needed a response from the whales. It didn't need to be intelligent enough to know about the havoc it was creating on Earth.
The creators of the probe should have been intelligent enough to know that in advance, and as such, don't send it at all or redesign it to communicate in a non-destructive way.
2/The noise and sound waves were sensed, due to Hollywood manipulating science for the sake of entertainment.
That doesn't make it any less ridiculous. It is not as if there isn't a simple fix; i.e., simply have the probe enter the atmosphere before transmitting. Sci-fi, and all fiction in general, is more entertaining when suspension of disbelief is maintained. Blatantly ridiculous events disrupt willing suspension of disbelief.
3/Perhaps humans in the 23rd Century weren't as logical Spock and once returned to future Earth, he could then teach them how to regenerate Dilithium Crystals. They can still mine for them, only now they would know how to regenerate them and preserve the crystal resource.
Say what? It doesn't matter how logical humans are; Spock and plenty of other Vulcans are already from the 23rd century, where they should have already discovered how to recharge dilithium crystals.
4/The escaping radiation may have been escaping at higher level than normally detected.
That device simply collected radiation that was already escaping. It wouldn't be escaping any faster than normal unless the shielding around the source of radiation were damaged, and there's no indication of that.
5/Wasn't the transmission damaged or something and wasn't a beaming device needed.
I don't know what you're talking about.
6/You'd be surprised at what a pocket sized Heal-O-Matic can do in the 23rd century. Because of your traumatic experience, doesn't mean you have to expect Chekov to go through the same experience as you if not necessary.
This is a non sequitur. The point (which you missed) is: the 20th century doctor's solution actually works (drilling a small hole [not holes] in the skull to evacuate (remove) the hematoma (pool of clotted blood), and McCoy's proposed solution ("The artery must be repaired") doesn't work, because the blood clot is what's causing the problem (due to it applying pressure to the brain). If you only repair the artery, the blood clot is still there and will kill the person. Furthermore, the artery repairs itself just fine via a "magical" process known as "healing", and in cases of a hematoma, by the time it's diagnosed, the artery isn't bleeding anymore anyway, which is why the pool of blood is clotted.

So that's the main point of ridicule, i.e., McCoy's response didn't even make sense. Another issue is: what did the Heal-O-Matic do with the blood clot? Humans and their allies don't have handheld transporter technology in the TOS universe, so it couldn't have beamed the blood clot out of his head.
7/The probe was directing an immense energy surge towards earth looking for a response. Whatever it was capable of doing, it's energy was picking up the whale sound and signal from earth itself and transmitting it back to the probe.
There is no mechanism for sound waves travel from the ocean to outer space. The only way it is possible is if the probe had placed, e.g., a microphone in the atmosphere.
8/They live in the moment and communicate telepathically, in a manner far more advanced and superior than humans. Humans aren't intelligent enough to see what they are doing to earth, in spite of all their own intelligence. The whales and dolphins are communicating within their own environment and too whom and what for? Having manmade traps in their path, is not something that is supposed to happen or hinder their evolvement. Whales even beach themselves. Why? Self-sacrifice. Is if for us to understand? What man does need to understand, is respect, care and concern for the planet, with it's variety of assorted life forms and vast astonishing environments.
Is that a joke? Whether it's intended to be a joke or not, consider it dismissed as such.

I don't dance, tell jokes or wear my pants too tight, but I do know about a thousand songs.

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I don't think they got at that hematoma properly and it has caused you to be stiff. You missed the point and entertainment value of the film, in favor of dissecting the science which is negligible in the larger scheme of the theme and point of the film. You are trying to be too logical and making an ass out of yourself. Your pseudo smarts don't impress.

Your non sequitur points are duly dismissed.


Exorcist: Christ's power compels you. Cast out, unclean spirit.
Destinata:
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Preach !

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Whales and dolphins do not communicate telepathically. They use sounds, physical contact, and body language. Large whales can communicate over entire ocean basins. Telepathy isn't something that is supported by any evidence.

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You make some good points, although in regard to point 3:

3. According to Scotty, regenerating dilithium crystals can't be done in the 23rd century, even though it is as easy as collecting some nuclear fission radiation, and the device to do so can be cobbled together from whatever happens to be aboard the average Klingon ship. No one in the 23rd century ever thought of that, even though it took Spock all of 10 seconds to think of it. I guess this "discovery" puts a damper on the value of dilithium crystals and associated mining operations in the future.


Scotty actually said that they can't recrystallize dilithium crystals in the 23rd century. They also had problems with dilithium crystals in "Mudd's Women" which forced them to get more crystals at the Rigel colony.

SCOTT: Admiral, we have a serious problem. Would you please come down? It's these Klingon crystals, Admiral. The time-travel drained them. They're giving out. De-crystallizing.
KIRK: Give me a round figure, Mister Scott.
SCOTT: Oh, twenty-four hours, give or take, staying cloaked. After that, Admiral, we're visible, ...and dead in the water. In any case, we won't have enough to break out of Earth's gravity, to say nothing of getting back home.
KIRK: I can't believe we've come this far only to be stopped by this! Is there no way to re-crystallize dilithium?
SCOTT: Sorry, sir. We can't even do that in the twenty-third century.
SPOCK: Admiral, there may be a twentieth century possibility.
KIRK: Explain.
SPOCK: If memory serves, there was a dubious flirtation with nuclear fission reactors resulting in toxic side effects. By the beginning of the fusion era, these reactors had been replaced, but at this time, we may be able to find some.
KIRK: I thought you said they were toxic.
SPOCK: We could construct a device to collect their high-energy photons safely. These photons could then be injected into the dilithium chamber, causing crystalline restructure. ...Theoretically.

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Scotty actually said that they can't recrystallize dilithium crystals in the 23rd century.
What difference does that make? That I didn't use the exact word that was used in the movie doesn't affect point #3 at all.
They also had problems with dilithium crystals in "Mudd's Women" which forced them to get more crystals at the Rigel colony.
Yes, which is why it is ridiculous that they were able to recrystallize dilithium crystals in this movie. Dilithium crystals wouldn't be particularly valuable if they could not only be recrystallized, but easily recrystallized. As if no one in the 23rd century, including Spock himself, would have already thought of using nuclear fission radiation to recrystallize them, given that Spock thought of it off the top of his head in a matter of seconds in this movie, and it worked.

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Yes, which is why it is ridiculous that they were able to recrystallize dilithium crystals in this movie. Dilithium crystals wouldn't be particularly valuable if they could not only be recrystallized, but easily recrystallized. As if no one in the 23rd century, including Spock himself, would have already thought of using nuclear fission radiation to recrystallize them, given that Spock thought of it off the top of his head in a matter of seconds in this movie, and it worked.


Spock explained that he was speaking theoretically, so he didn't actually know if it would work. As to why it wasn't done or tested in the 23rd century, they didn't have nuclear fission reactors available as that technology was no longer used.

Of course, they would have known how to build one, but perhaps they thought it was too risky with toxic side-effects - and not worth building just for the sole purpose of testing out a theory as to whether it could re-crystallize dilithium crystals. This would be especially true if they had a steady supply of dilithium and had no pressing need to come up with something like this.

Scotty may not have even known about the theory, but since Spock knows everything, he would have known about even the most obscure and untested theories. But they were in a tight spot and had no other options, so it was worth a try. Even if the odds against it working were 7,824.7 to 1, Kirk would still go for it. Of course it'll work. It always works. ;)

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Spock explained that he was speaking theoretically, so he didn't actually know if it would work.
Yet it did work, and it only took him a matter of seconds to think of it.
As to why it wasn't done or tested in the 23rd century, they didn't have nuclear fission reactors available as that technology was no longer used.
Is that a joke? How long do you think it would take them to make a nuclear fission reactor in the 23rd century? We first made one in 1942, and there's even a naturally occurring nuclear reactor here on Earth - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_nuclear_fission_reactor.
Of course, they would have known how to build one, but perhaps they thought it was too risky with toxic side-effects - and not worth building just for the sole purpose of testing out a theory as to whether it could re-crystallize dilithium crystals.
Ridiculous. Nuclear reactors aren't even particularly risky with today's technology, and in the TOS universe, toxic waste could simply be dematerialized.
This would be especially true if they had a steady supply of dilithium and had no pressing need to come up with something like this.
Yeah, it's a wonder we ever came up with rechargeable batteries, considering we had a steady supply of disposable ones. In reality, being able to "recharge" the main power source of your most power-hungry devices would be a huge deal:
Dilithium can be found on only a few planets in the galaxy, and is therefore a rare and valuable substance.

One of the reasons why dilithium was so valuable before the late 23rd century was because dilithium gradually decrystalizes during use, and there existed no practical means of inducing recrystallization. However, during a time travel mission to 1986, Spock and Scotty developed a method of recrystallizing dilithium through exposure to gamma radiation.

http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Dilithium
Hilarious. So all that time using dilithium crystals, with them being rare and valuable, and all they had to do was ask Spock how to recharge them and wait a few seconds for the answer.

I don't dance, tell jokes or wear my pants too tight, but I do know about a thousand songs.

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Yet it did work, and it only took him a matter of seconds to think of it.


That's because it's Spock. And, as is common in Star Trek, the bizarre, untested theory which has little chance of working ALWAYS ends up working.

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That's because it's Spock. And, as is common in Star Trek, the bizarre, untested theory which has little chance of working ALWAYS ends up working.
No, there is a big difference. Normally in Star Trek, "the bizarre, untested theory which has little chance of working" is applied to a unique or highly unusual circumstance, which makes it believable that such a thing has never been tried before.

In the case of recharging your rare and valuable power source, that's a blatantly obvious goal that, logically, plenty of people would have been working on for as long as dilithium crystals had been used as a power source. In the 23rd century it is believed that it can't be done. Scotty didn't say to Kirk, "Hmm, recrystalize dilithium crystals; what a novel idea; I don't think anyone's ever thought of that before. Let me think about it and get back to you." Instead, he immediately stated flat-out that it can't be done even in the 23rd century, which means it's a well-known, long-standing problem without a solution. This is bad writing; it makes everyone in the 23rd century look like fools, including Spock himself, given that if the solution was so easy, he should have thought of it long before that moment.

I don't dance, tell jokes or wear my pants too tight, but I do know about a thousand songs.

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Scotty didn't say to Kirk, "Hmm, recrystalize dilithium crystals; what a novel idea; I don't think anyone's ever thought of that before. Let me think about it and get back to you." Instead, he immediately stated flat-out that it can't be done even in the 23rd century, which means it's a well-known, long-standing problem without a solution. This is bad writing; it makes everyone in the 23rd century look like fools, including Spock himself, given that if the solution was so easy, he should have thought of it long before that moment.


Yeah, perhaps it's bad writing to some extent. Maybe it was a veiled slam against nuclear power ("toxic side effects") and trying to suggest that they've gone way past that in the 23rd century. Things were quite primitive and backward back in 1986; that's what the writers were apparently trying to convey.

But the situation described here might be similar to "The Naked Time" when Scotty insisted that he can't change the laws of physics and needed 30 minutes to restart the engines. It was Kirk who suggested an alternate theory:

SCOTT: Captain, you can't mix matter and antimatter cold. We'd go up in the biggest explosion since
KIRK: We can balance our engines into a controlled implosion.
SCOTT: That's only a theory. It's never been done.
KIRK: Bridge, have you found Mister Spock yet?
SCOTT: If you wanted to chance odds of ten thousand to one, maybe, assuming we had a row of computers working weeks on the right formula.


And true to form, Spock came up with the right formula in a matter of seconds even while under the influence. Scotty is usually a play-it-safe type while Kirk is generally ordering him to push it to the limit.

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You forgot Scotty being able to use a very early Macintosh to cobble up the formula for Transparent Aluminum.

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I didn't forget that, because there's nothing ridiculous about it, aside from Scotty being able to navigate that particular piece of software so well. It was an engineering program of some sort, and Scotty input the information and it simply gave a graphical representation of that information. There's no reason why even primitive software couldn't take a typed-in chemical formula and display a graphical representation of it. It would have all of the graphical representations for each element already programmed into it, and all it has to do is draw them on the screen in accordance with the specific formula Scotty gave it.

It is really no different than if Scotty had just written the chemical formula (and/or sketched a diagram of it) and the name "transparent aluminum" on a Post-it note and not used a computer at all (i.e., the computer didn't actually do anything other than illustrate the formula it was given), but that wouldn't have been as entertaining.

I don't dance, tell jokes or wear my pants too tight, but I do know about a thousand songs.

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You make some good points Maxim, but you forgot a big one:

9. Kirk saying they don't use money in the 23rd Century

This movie was the first time the concept of "no money" was introduced into the Star Trek universe and it was a direct contradiction to the "credits" used in TOS and in Trek III when McCoy tells the lispy alien in the bar he "has money" to charter a spaceship to Genesis. There was also a contradiction afterwards in Trek VI when Scotty says "he just bought a boat" right before they are getting briefed about the Klingons.

The whole concept of no money is a farce and was written by writers who don't understand what it is and how it works. Money is just an agreed upon medium of exchange, it makes it easier to acquire goods and services, otherwise you would have to barter and trade things for everything that you want. It would take buyers and sellers forever to do that and money facilitates this exchange much quicker and easier.

TNG tried to carry the concept of no money forward but it also had its own contradictions which I won't get into here. There's currently a thread about this topic on the TNG board and is where I copied, pasted and edited one of my responses into this post, but the writers continually flip flop because they have no idea what they're talking about and they should've never introduced the concept in this film to begin with.

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I always took that to mean that they don't use cash in the 23rd century, not that 23rd century cash would work for paying for pizza and beer or anything else in 1986 even if they did use it. If the writers intended that to mean that they literally don't use money in any form in the 23rd century then that is indeed ridiculous.

I don't dance, tell jokes or wear my pants too tight, but I do know about a thousand songs.

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3. According to Scotty, regenerating dilithium crystals can't be done in the 23rd century, even though it is as easy as collecting some nuclear fission radiation, and the device to do so can be cobbled together from whatever happens to be aboard the average Klingon ship. No one in the 23rd century ever thought of that, even though it took Spock all of 10 seconds to think of it. I guess this "discovery" puts a damper on the value of dilithium crystals and associated mining operations in the future.


Late to the party but here goes my two cents:

Spock said we were still messing with nuclear fission and that may help with the crystals. By the 23rd century they had long since given up on toxic fission in favor of fusion.

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Though I have always liked it for the humor.
This is an incomplete sentence.

If this movie has so much to critique, why spend so much time evaluating, that is, watching it? Are you a masochist?

What do you like, that is, what would you not find so filled with flaws as to cause you to post a dissertation?

Never mind, I've wasted sufficient time.

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The comedy episodes of TOS have always stretched the plausibility factor. But who cares? They're entertaining.

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The comedy episodes of TOS have always stretched the plausibility factor. But who cares? They're entertaining.
Exactly. If you really want to enjoy ST, you've got to let some *beep* go. Not all of it works.

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I found the movie enjoyable and was not bothered by any of these "issues." Then again, I tend to watch movies for enjoyment and not nitpick them scene by scene, but OP made some decent points.

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Though I have always liked it for the humor.

This is an incomplete sentence.

It is a continuation of the thread title. Since you can't put two and two together, I'll do it for you:

"This movie is ridiculous, though I have always liked it for the humor."

Is that clear?

I don't dance, tell jokes or wear my pants too tight, but I do know about a thousand songs.

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