If Thornton had just been sitting in the hot tub like a normal person, I do not believe she would have been upset, even with all the girls there. But she arrives on the scene just as he is underwater getting an up-close look at the coeds' hoo-has, then when he comes out, he says "Now that's what I call Marine Biology!" Then when he sees Diane, he says something which is a) gross and b) grossly insulting to her intelligence, namely "Say hello to my nieces!" The combination of his icky behavior and his completely inappropriate excuse are what pissed her off.
As for Philip, she tried to get him to go into the party with her, but he was too much of a stick-in-the-mud. There is no reason for her to pass up some fun just because Philip won't go.
In terms of the dinner where she stood Philip up, she tried to call him to let him know she was going to keep tutoring Thornton over dinner. Evidently she couldn't reach him. Remember this was 1986, before the widespread use of cell phones.
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