Light sabers make no sense
I think I have written 'enough' (nothing is EVER enough! NOTHING!!11) about Star Wars, light sabers and such, but every now and then, a 'new idea' pops in my head, and I want to leave it somewhere before I leave this planet.
So bear with me.
Light sabers are cool. I mean, they could be warm for all I know, but as futuristic sci-fi melee weapons, they're exciting and fantastic - until they are used too much and completely wrong, so they lose their luster, but in these original movies, they're still 'cool'. Almost any kid watching these in the eighties would agree, I am sure.
However, my mind's problem is.. 'possibilities'. I always think of more. Why don't the Jedi?
I have already talked about how the Jedi don't seem to quite grasp the possibilities of what they could do with 'the force', if they wanted. They could, but they won't. Luke throws rocks and uses some bone instead of telekinesis and mind control when fighting some mindless beast, and so on. Can't understand.
Darth Vader is completely satisfied with just telekinetically 'throwing big chunks' at Luke instead of doing something more subtle, as in clouding his mind, closing his eyelids telekinetically, messing with his brain cells, flicking his light saber off, ripping his light saber apart molecule by molecule, and so on and so forth (I am sure people can think of more imaginative stuff as well).
Even if we forget 'the force' completely (a really problematic thing to introduce, so they had to almost never use it when logically and realistically it SHOULD'VE been used SO MUCH more)..
..there's the problem with the design of the light saber.
First, what and who dictates the 'length of the blade'? Can it be lengthened? Can it be 'curved'? Can it be 'fluctuating' or 'adjustable'? I am sure the reader realizes where I am going with this. When you get relatively close to your opponent, could you just point your light saber at them, then EXTEND the blade to suddenly stab through their face?
I mean, SOMETHING controls the length of the blade, so what limitation is there and why? Could it be 100 meters long, even if just temporarily? Remember that it doesn't WEIGH anything, so you could basically make a 100 km light saber and slice the Death Star apart with a few flicks of a wrist!
(Of course the actors using the props still look like they're using something that DOES have weight, because the props DO have weight in their blades, which makes EVERY SINGLE light saber fight unrealistic just for that very fact, but we'll discard that for now)
So the possibility of an 'adjustable blade length', as dangerous as it could be, makes me wonder if someone could create such a blade.. it would be normal in most situations, but it would have a special button or switch, and it would function like 'high beams' in cars, where you could just suddenly flick the blade to a spear or double-spear length and back. A quick stab without having to telegraph anything would be DEVASTATING in the right sitution and almost impossible to defend against!
Of course this, just like the realistic usage of force powers, is never explored in the movies, which doesn't make sense, because SURELY, in real life situation, this DEFINITELY would be explored, right?
The movies never tell us what I want to know - WHAT limits the blade size and length? What powers the light saber? Why does another light saber stop it, when it's basically 'destructive light' that shouldn't get stuck to anything? Could you just quickly flick it off and on again to get rid of the 'stuck' phase? Why wouldn't some engineer dedicate their life to researching how to make 'adjustable blade length version'?
Just think what we could get if force users ACTUALLY used force more, if light sabers had these 'sudden very long blade' buttons, if light sabers were used correctly, and so on.. what would it look like, when there's no 'heavy blade' but a completely weightless one? How FAST would those movements be, when the physical weight is not there to encumber and slow the movements? I mean, the blades would move as fast as you can move a small flashlight around.. it'd be CRAZY fast!
Also, wouldn't more research go into making the lightsaber HANDLE as lightweight and tiny as possible, so it would be even more efficient and weightless, allowing even faster movement?
Light saber fights, even if we forget 'the force', should look like ridiculously crazy, superfast mess of light patterns the eye is too slow to fully even register before the fight is over.
Instead, we get 'baseball swinging Rey' .. oh, sorry, wrong movie. I mean, we get 'normal, heavy-bladed swordfights' even though the blades are not supposed to weigh anything.. and not much force usage, sigh.
In any case, the whole big problem with light sabers is that Lucas wanted to just copy what he had seen on television as a kid, the old-world tech, as in propeller bombers, machine guns, steel swords, knight duels and so on, but IN SPACE..