I am little dissatisfied by the ending, and bit angry at the same time.
How could Sybylla lead him on like that? I thought it was a bit cruel, especially how long their promise to each other lasted.
I mean, why can't she write and have Sam? That would be perfection.
How far everyone is off the mark. Sybylla was a lesbian. Not active of course - she wouldn't understand anything about that - only confused in herself.
She sought to find out 'what is wrong with the world and myself', and concluded that the problem was partly herself. By the end of the film she realises that she is not interested in men, and yields fully to her intellectual and independent spirit. This same unwieldy spirit that had the older women clucking in rather fearful recognition throughout the film.
The film-makers certainly understood this, making Sybylla suitably tom-boyish with her pillow-fighting and tree-climbing, and hair seemingly calculated to repel men. Judy Davis, who specialises in lesbian roles, was perfect casting.
Really, if you miss all the nuance about Sybylla's sexuality you are missing the whole film, which is about understanding your destiny.
I there were a couple of reasons, yes she did care about him, but imo she accepted him because she thought he would be poor. Once she found out he didn't lose everything then she didn't want him. Plus, in the mean time she did find herself and she grew up. She didn't want to have her mother's life, or even her grandmother's life and she couldn't have what she wanted while married to him.
I think if he wouldn't have saved his fortune she would have married him. Also, maybe she didn't like how he was always playing around. Her aunt told her about all the women he flirted with in town, at the ball he was hanging all over that other woman and in the letter he was apparently again hanging all over a different woman. He wasn't constant and would obviously cheat. I think he loved her, but he was too cold. When he 1st proposed and she hit him he looked so angry and also so cold and then he walked away. If he would have hit her back she probably would have begged him to have her. She didn't want easy. She was a free spirit and tutoring those horrible children taught her how to thrive in any situation. She didn't need him, she didn't want him. Why would she marry him? I agree it was wrong to not write to him or something, but I think she honestly thought he had moved on and I don't think they were actually communicating with each other while she was gone.