***** Spoiler******
My favorite:
At the beginning when he is playing the piano/organ - whatever and the animals are howling - "Children of the Night - SHUT UP!"
Also - At the very end when they are flying off and he says you can only go out at night forever - and she says something like, "That's okay, it usually takes me til about 7 to get my sh*t together anyway." lol
I cant relate to 99% of humanity ~ Seymour, Ghost World
"With you never a quikie, always a longie"
It is just so cute.
"Are you high? Did you sneak a joint from my purse?"
That has become a natural thing to say between my friends and whenever we do something dumb or weird.
oh, yeah... that's my bf's favorite line.. lol.. "for you never a quickie, always a longie" that's hysterical..
I cant relate to 99% of humanity ~ Seymour, Ghost World
When Refield tells people from the government are at the door, and Dracula questions him as to how he knows they are from the governemnt...
Renfield: They are wearing shoes...
Give Blood Today
God Bless!
Have used the 'never a quickie, always a longie' since this came out in the theatre :-)
One other favourite of it is 'I never drink wine, and I never smoke sh*t' - a great play on the Lugosi and the Langella versions
i like the part where he starts whining about not being able to have "lamb chops, potato chips, mello-marts, chivis-rrrregall on the rrrrocks with a twist!". love that part. so many great ones though. "look, a black chicken"...the necklace part where he describes it nonchalantly as "its a..creature of the night...it flies.."
sharei like the bit when the guy breaks the window picks up the tv and says "its dudes like you that gives this nieghbourhood a bad name"
WHEN THE EARTH SPITS OUT THE DEAD
When the detective wants to borrow the cape in the end.
share"I'd say leave Cindy alone and find yourself a nice jewish girl doctor!"
"Ah, s***, it's the other one, isn't it?"
Confound it, the batteries are dead!
the scene with the judge is classic!
when they tried to explain to the judge that they need a search warrant for dracula!
and she replied
"i want you two to haul a** outta my court room!"
Mine would be when Sherman Hemsley's character is says "When you's is gone, you's gone. Ain't nothin gonna bring you back." And Dracula opens the coffin lid, sits up at looks at the mourners and says "Good evening." then everyone hauls @$$ outta the church, in fact that entire scene cracks me up, it's gotta be my all time fave scene in the entire movie. BTW, I'm around 3 months and 13 days OLDER than this movie.
shareSherman Hemsley's sermon is one, the other is the "It's a Black Chicken, boil some water"... "Come back here black chicken"
"The time is late, the man is tall
But I got a date, so he must fall."
www.rhodadettore.com
"You're getting sleepier..."
"No, you're getting sleepier..."
"No you are."
"No you are."
"No you are."
"No no you are."
"You are."
*Girl walks out on both of them.*
"No you are."
"No you are."
"No you are."
Classic.
It is so amazing to see Isabel Sanford curse twice in that scene. And she uses the word Honky.
shareHe broke the window because Dracula threw him into it when he tried to run away.
share[deleted]
Villager: You dirty bat! You bit my mother!
Count Dracula: What is your name?
Villager: Alexei. Rugalov.
Count Dracula: No, Alexei. I bit your mother ... and your grandmother.
(sitting in his coffin in the aircraft reading a book)
Whoop whoopy doo...red hot mama!
renfield- we could ring for the nightmaid!. he he he!
Customs guy (sarcastic) BANgladesh...allright stripe him down
I'm a doctor! I know what I'm doing!
You have 30 seconds to tell me where Miss Sondheim is, or...
Or what? You'll eat your lunch in my office?
No-o-o, my lunch will eat you.
We're going to make a hoist.
Heist!
Heist, heist.
Renfield why did you tell him that?
Because the bad guys always tell the good guys what they're going to do just before they try to kill them.
He's absolutely right, Miss Cindy, that's part of the rules. But in this case, WE are the good guys.
I showed him how God wanted him to have a swell time while he was alive. Because, brothers and sisters, when you is gone, you is gone. And ain't no way, no how, nobody's going to bring you back here once you is dead!
I'd say the entire movie is quotable.
George Hamilton had perfect romantic chemistry with Susan Saint James, and equally good comedic chemistry with Arte Johnson.
With Dracula and Renfield, one got the impression their relationship had long ago passed from master/servant to co-dependent friends.
One thing I do find ironic is that when Dracula is reading -in his reading light equipped coffin- the book on American slang, he's ticked off to learn that the phrases are decades out of date. (The book being written in 1926.) Now, when you watch this film, the phrases and wardrobes are about equally as dated.
[deleted]
Woman at the airport wailing over the coffin:
"Alvin, I told you to find your roots, but who told you to drink the water!??"
"Yeah I can see myself marinating chicken in that."
When the doctor promises:
" I'll be better than good1! I'll be perfect!"
and when Dracula tastes the drink Renfield has brought him in his castle at the beginning, and makes a face.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Renfield, BODY temperature!"
and favorite scene:
The cop is visiting the doc in his padded room and leans against the wall talking to himself, wishing that his big case could have been about a drug ring.
Meanwhile, the doc is on his knees in a straight jacket reading a tabloid account of Dracula's doings:
"turn to page 85" and turning the pages with his teeth. Hysterical!
"Now, the time is late,
The man is tall!
But I've got a date,
So HE MUST FALL!"
"See, he's a vampire. And he's gotta be destroyed. He's filth, he's corruption."
"Boy, this guy's really lost it."
"What are you doing? Get the air bubble out!"
The Falcon flies
See he's a vampire, and he's gotta be destroyed. He's filth, decadence yeah, he's unclean. He's gotta be destroyed. And you know what I think, I'm not sure about this but I just suspect...that a HE'S BETTER IN BED WITH MY GIRL THAN I AM!
This is a perfect example of a man taking charge of his own life, and I feel...pretty good!
What're you talking about? This is an elevator, not a lifeboat!
Me afraid of townspeople, a bunch of yokels?
Well Rene ran my ass off all day, I mean he maybe the best photographer in New York City but he's still a bitch.
Yes I know Jeffery, they love in their way, we love in ours, who's to say which is right by the 21st Century homosexuality will probably be the normal lifestyle.
Look it, I can't stand much more of this competitive macho sh it you guys, I'm warning you!
I do not drink vine, and I do not smoke, sh it.
Pardon me, would you like Chicken Kiev Chateaubriand or Veal Cutlet Florentine for lunch?
Everything you mentioned is dead. Don't you have anything that's alive and kicking?
I'll have the Chicken Kiev, miss. Oh, why don't you bring a nice juicy mouse for little Salome here?
Could I have one, too?
A little fight in you, I like that!
I actually stole that line ("better than good...perfect!" for a Halloween children's play I wrote one year...my homage to LAFB.
shareYou like your ankles licked.
shareMine is when Richard Benjamin says "I almost love you" to Cindy when she's in his office for a therapy session. The way he says it, so deadpan and nerdy.
I was in high school when this movie came out and for some reason that line never fails to crack me up.
I just watched the DVD the other night and was so upset that they substituted a lame no-name song for "I Love the Night Life". Not only did that song fit perfectly musically and to the dance sequence, but the title was perfect too, since Dracula is a "night person".
They do have the night life on UT. I didn't like that, but I can just switch over for one scene. It's just not LAB if it doesn't have that song. What can I say? Someone must have gone bonkers there.
shareI like it when the detective hands Geoffrey a gun to shoot Dracula and he says, "He's already dead!" just as the elevator door closes.
shareI don't drink wine, and I don't smoke *beep*
TOOOO FUNNY!!!!
I had to go through these again because I've seen the movie so many times and am such a big fan and there's an obvious one that's my favorite...
" It's Me! " - Rosenberg picking up his photo,
" You know why there's no pictures of him?- because you can't TAKE any pictures of him- that's why! "
and prior to that.. " Who does this patent leather pump belong to? Cinderella? "
And I do agree with another poster that the entire movie is quotable.
cindy:look vladmir, their still kissing. oh isnt that sweet?
Vladnir:children of the night! Shut up!
Rosenburg:what are ya talking about? This is an elevator, not a lifeboat!
Guy in elevater: i think im going to faint!
other guy: Well if ya do it will have to be standing up fruitcake.
cindy: are u stoned jeffrey? Did u sneak a joint outta my purse?
LT fergusen: if anyone breaks in, tell them your dad's a cop. that will scare em.
After biting the wino: "What was that maniac drinking? Tastes like the Volga river at low tide!"
Thank you for riding with MTA, New York City Transit.
when he gives her the bat necklace "Oh vladamir, it's so beautiful. What are those birds" Vlad: "a creature of the night, it flies"
reading all of these has brought back the old days of the movie of the week! Used to watch this every time it was on!
Use the radio! Call for help!
Yeah what am I supposed to tell them this is Lieutenant Ferguson, I'm on a stolen bike with a psychiatrist whose chasing after a vampire that's going to bite his girlfriend on the neck so he can turn her into a bat?
Yeah tell them that!
There goes my pension!
There is a vampire loose in the city, lock up your wives, your sisters, your daughters and your sweethearts!
Eat your heart out Burt Reynolds! Ha!
"Remember... Without me, Transylvania will be as exciting as Bucharest. On a Monday night!"
"They sucked his brains out!"
(As the townspeople are yelling and Dracula makes his way to the carriage)
Some guy hawking "Get your wolfsbane!"
Reinfield: "what do you want from him? Blood?"
(In the Love nest when Dracula as a bat interrupts their necking
session:)
Woman: What was that??
Man: My ex-wife! (yelling out the window after the bat) I TOLD YA, THE CHECK'S IN THE MAIL!!
(when Dracula and Cindy are in the cab)
Dracula: drive on the grass.
Cabbie: I can't do that, it's against the law.
Dracula: I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the car!
And Jeffrey's whole rant to Cindy about her sleeping around:
The last time this happened, you blamed it on low blood sugar. The glucose-tolerance test (growling) WHICH I PAID FOR (normal tone) proved negative. The time before that, you claimed you had reached a New low in your biorhythm chart. Now let's see ... No, no! Last night you were on a definite double upswing. So much for that bulls#%t. The time before THAT, you claimed the CIA has planted a mind-altering drug in your feminine hygiene spray! We checked it out! THEY NEVER HEARD OF YOU!!
So what's left? WHat is it that makes you act with such promiscuity ... (snarling) Little Miss Hot Pants!!!
Oh god I'd forgotten that rant! (of Jeffry's.) NObody however has mentioned when Dracula and Renfield are being kicked out of their castle and somebody says something about how theyre going to get an apartment with a bathroom...Renfield says, "Master, what's a bathroom?"
shareDracula: "Where am I to go?"
Government official: "You have a choice, Comrade Count. You can either spend the rest of your life in an efficiency apartment with twelve dissidents and one toilet, or, you can get your aristocratic s&%t together and SPLIT!"
(Government officials leave)
Dracula: RENFIELD!
(Renfield comes over)
Dracula: "What is an efficiency apartment?"
Renfield "I don't know, Master. What's a toilet?"