MovieChat Forums > The Way We Were (1973) Discussion > Never feel this is a romance

Never feel this is a romance

posted 12 years ago by MistressKitty
13 replies | jump to latest

Their relationship was never portrayed in a very romantic light in this movie to me. I want to love them together and to love the movie but I don't. I just watched it again for the 3rd or 4th time and it still gets on my nerves.
She is so needy and he is so much of a jerk. He couldn't handle her being a strong willed woman and she never thought enough of herself to think she deserved him.
He cheats on her and then leaves her and his baby. This is not my idea of romance. There is also no chemistry between the two of them even though so many people seem to think there is. They never fit together. She fed his ego and he fed hers. That isn't love.

"Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble."

[–] !!!deleted!!! (5085627) 9 years ago

What I don't get, MistressKitty, is why someone would watch a film "3 or 4 times" that gets on their nerves. It doesn't make sense to watch something again and again that you dislike, so why do you torture yourself? Is it a Goth or Wiccan thing?

This is a story about opposites attracting, but the same differences that attracted them to each other ultimately divided and defeated them. There's still love and romance there whether you see it or not, and their relationship is certainly portrayed in a realistic light since not every pairing is a smooth and easy one with a happy ending. You're overthinking it and not keeping it in perspective...or perhaps you simply don't believe in romance for one reason or another. Your comments have a certain edge and sharpness to them, as if you've experienced your share of ill-fated relationships and therefore hate anything supposedly romantic.

If you don't like the film or think it's romantic, that's your prerogative, but if you don't see the chemistry between Katie and Hubbell, then it's you. Perhaps you should watch it one more time and pay closer attention. If you still don't see the chemistry, then by all means you should give up on love, romance, and repeatedly watching films you don't like. But above all else, you must remember this, MistressKitty:

Memories may be beautiful and yet, what's to painful to remember, we simply choose to forget...

[–] Prelude-in-C-maj 9 years ago

I can't speak for the original poster up top, but perhaps what she's railing against is the reputation of the movie.

The general "idea" of The Way We were is one of how terribly romantic it is. People adore this film, and speak of it as romantic.

When you actually watch it with that notion in your head, it doesn't feel like any such thing. Because it's clear these two people are just horribly wrong for each other, chemistry or no, and that, as the OP says, she's too needy and he's a jerk.

It's appalling in a relationship when people feel they have to change just to keep the other person. Although, that's what the movie is about I guess. The awfulness of that aspect in some people's pairings.

She starts out a strong woman, with opinions, convictions, and the poise of self-possession. Her infatuation with Big Blonde All American Boy there turns her into a needy, whimpering, simpering fool, and that's sad to see. It happens in real life but nobody thinks it's "romantic." And it's not romantic here either, it's mildly tragic. Although again I guess that is indeed what the movie is aiming at.

I'm just at a loss as to how so many people over so many years have adored this film as one of the most romantic ever, when that's essentially not what it is at all, unless a person likes torturing themselves with dead-end relationships and struggles just to stay together, when real love shouldn't be like that.

[–] IcingOnTheCake 9 years ago

I didn't see that either. She liked the way he looked and he liked that she was so into him. I never noticed any real love.