"Ass" is in fact the correct spelling. Most Englishmen, (but not most English speakers), pronounce it as "arse", just as they pronounce "glass" as "glarse", "class" as "clarse" - and so on. They don't insist on spelling any of those other words the way they pronounce them, so clearly they shouldn't spell "ass" that way either.
No.
'Arse'
is the correct spelling if one is referring to the buttocks.
'Ass', meanwhile, is a synonym for donkey - due to it's taxonomical name, Equus asinus.
No 'Englishman' would pronounce 'glass/class' as 'glarse/clarse'. A correct phonetic spelling would be something approaching 'glahs/clahs' - no 'r' sound whatsoever. (The 'r' in 'arse', however, is most assuredly sounded.)
As for your final sentence, I can only roll my eyes at its sheer inanity.
The Adventures of The Man With No Penis:
http://tinyurl.com/8ezrkh
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