MovieChat Forums > It's a Wonderful Life (1947) Discussion > George and Mary's relationship.

George and Mary's relationship.

posted 7 years ago by CharlotteXavier (2357)
16 replies | jump to latest

First, why does George get so agitated that Sam offers him a job on the phone call? Is it because he's tired of being offered things he doesn't really want, including Mary? I know he actually does love Mary, but he's torn because marriage will tie him down and he's not the kind of guy to string someone along.

Or is it because Sam is being condescending to him, in addition to wanting all of his money? Or is it all of these things?

That scene confused me.

I also find George's treatment of Mary from the get go to be rather shabby, starting when they were kids. `He calls her "brainless" and keeps putting her down. When she's in a bathrobe after the dance he just leaves her there naked in the bushes. He tosses her bathrobe at her and leaves her to walk home improperly dressed all alone at night. It was an emergency but he should have brought her along to get some clothes and a ride home. He just didn't care. Later, when he shows up at her house he's really mean to her and ends up shaking her violently telling her he doesn't want her and they end up kissing. It's disturbing.

Right before he hits rock bottom he basically tells her he regrets having kids. I know he's in despair but still, that's a horrible thing to say. But this brings me to Mary's selfishness. She just doesn't really care about what George wants.
She wants him as a husband, which he's not 100% into, she wants a bunch of kids, which he didn't seem to want, she wants to live in a house that gives him the creeps and she gets it all.

Don't get me wrong. I find these character traits very interesting and realistic and they make the movie more complex.

Any thoughts?

[–] TM1617-2 (667) 6 years ago

CharlotteXavier, George is very self-centered, insensitive, and cold. He has no personal identity, and becomes the town activist as compensation. George is not worthy of the attention and assistance that he receives, and his neighbors' glamorization of him is grating. The man is locally involved only for the sake of a reputation. He and Mary want each other, but for radically different reasons, which dooms their marriage. While George gets married just to maintain his name, there is no reason for Mary to sentence herself to a lifetime with a cad. She surely can find a much better husband, so her remaining a maid in the alternate setting surprises me. There would be a stronger statement if Mary had a different spouse for the imaginary line. The prank with the robe is vicious. During the phone trio, George is fueled more by jealousy than annoyance. He knows that Sam and Mary have feelings for each other and wants to be the prime focus of the girl's existence. Mary uses that to see what sort of responses she'll get from both boys. Your suggestions play a role, though. The matter is George's defense mechanism against Sam's popularity. The first guy doesn't want to rely on his friend who outshines him.

[–] hyperjet (752) 6 years ago

TM1617-2 (207) You will be visited by three spirits. Listen to them and learn from them!

[–] TimeTunnel (4769) a year ago

Yah, the 3 Christmas spirits. 🎅 🤶 🧑‍🎄

[–] liscarkat (19418) 4 years ago

Excellent analysis, but I think the episode of the robe is simply thoughtless, not vicious.

[–] TM1617-2 (667) 4 years ago

Thank you, liscarkat. Robbing someone of the only clothing that she has access to in the moment is cruel.

[–] strntz (12773) 4 years ago

I think you're leaving out the parts when George and Mary were happy, which I would surmise was most of the time when Uncle Billy wasn't losing $8000 on the day the bank examiner arrived.

The point of the movie is for George to see what life would be like without him, so to that end, we first see all the good he did, then we see a crisis that drives him to suicide.

We're only seeing the snippets of his 40 years or so.

[–] Otter (24464) 4 years ago

Well, part of that is just the attitudes of the times. Back in the 1940s, women were told that they should never want anything but to marry that one man who's going to be the be-all and end-all of their existence, breed lots of children whether her husband wants them or not because he'll adore them once they're on the ground, and that they should be entirely supportive and forgiving towards that one man and never criticize him or resent any of the thoughtless things that he does. So Mary is written almost completely without a personality or inner life, she never shows any feeling but one-sided devotion to her husband and sprats, and when we are shown her without George in her life she's shown as someone who's basically a non-person.

The film is marvelous overall, but the character of Mary is basically not written at all, she's just someone's poorly thought out idea of the perfect wife.

[–] TM1617-2 (667) 4 years ago

That is the perfect explanation, Otter.

[–] Alerra (244) 4 years ago

And a poorly thought out idea of a spinster, too. I love this movie, but it was December of 1945. There would have been plenty of women in Bedford Falls at the time who hadn't gotten the chance to marry the man they loved. The idea that the only thing Mary could ever have been if she wasn't George's wife was a librarian falls flat, especially since we know of at least one other romantic interest of hers.

Also, as a librarian, it bothers me on a personal level -- but that's a different argument.

[–] Otter (24464) 4 years ago

The librarian thing is the biggest false note in the movie, I think it's intended to show that Mary is NOTHING WITHOUT GEORGE, but that's not how real people work, not even real straight women. Most people who don't get what they want or what they'd originally planned out of of life go on to build new lives for themselves, usually very good lives. I've done that, you've probably done that, and the whole damn movie is about George Bailey doing exactly that. Mary should have done that, and she would have, if she were written as a real, believable, three-dimensional person.

But she isn't, she's written as a 1945 straight man's idea of the perfect wife.

[–] strntz (12773) 4 years ago

And a poorly thought out idea of a spinster, too.

I agree, but in defense of It's a Wonderful Life, we see that everyone that George *didn't* touch by not being born didn't do as well if at all. That was the point: George's life had great meaning to people he didn't even realize he affected.

So I guess we had two options with regards to Mary never having met George: have her remain a spinster or be married to someone who abused her, or she was extremely poor, or otherwise had a life without George that was worse than what she had with him.

If George was shown that Mary had a better life without him, George might just make the sacrifice and remain "unborn" to help her.

[–] Otter (24464) 4 years ago

I wish they'd made her into a good-time gal who was getting arrested with Violet.

[–] strntz (12773) 4 years ago

LOL, I wonder how George would have reacted to that??

[–] Otter (24464) 4 years ago

Whatever he did when he saw that, I'm sure I would have found it hilarious!

[–] Alerra (244) 4 years ago

But it doesn't suit HER or the life we've been shown. Mary could have married Sam. And Clarence could have shown her living in the city in an unhappy marriage, where she is sad and lonely, missing her family in BF. She and Sam probably would have ended up living separate lives, in separate houses, and Mary wouldn't have had very many friends.

Also, we never once see Mary show any interest in the library. The only time we ever see her show any interest in academia at ALL is when she attends the school function. Adding to the fact that she would not have been the only unmarried woman in town eligible for the librarian's job, neither at the time (1945) nor when she would have been first old enough to leave home (she and George get married around 1932), the idea that being the town's spinster librarian is the only thing she could have done with her life (again, not the worst thing in the world to have done, but that's an argument for another day) doesn't work with her character.

Showing Mary as a lonely old maid proves its point -- but it's a cop-out when it comes to her character development.

[–] strntz (12773) 4 years ago

Showing Mary as a lonely old maid proves its point -- but it's a cop-out when it comes to her character development.

Sure, without George being in the picture, she quite likely might have married Sam, but that means that that marriage would have to have been unhappy on some significant level. Since we like Sam, we wouldn't want *him* to be the cause of Mary's unhappiness. How would that reconcile when Sam sends a telegram in the final scene and offers to advance George 20 thousand dollars to help him out?

I guess they could have had her settle and marry some other town schlub and been been unhappy, but that wouldn't really fit her classy intelligent persona either.

For the story to work, Mary only needed to be unhappy without George - the circumstances were unimportant.