the term 'gaslight'


anyone have any comment on the term 'gaslight'? anyone have any experiences with someone trying to create paranoia in your life or someone elses?

reply

I have to laugh and tell you that this reference has been a private joke in my family for years. Such as when someone asks a question and you answer it, and then they ask the same question again, perhaps a day later, but yet they expect you will have forgotten the previous conversation and give a different answer?
Like when your teenager asks if they can get a pizza delivered, and you say "no there are cheeper frozen ones already here to cook and eat", but then they ask again later anyways, hoping you will give a different answer...

So then you say "are you trying to do a gaslight on me?"

reply

Upon seeing this recently after many many moons, I realized that the gaslight element of the film was the onliest thing Boyer didn't intentionally do to "Gaslight" Ingrid, but only because he didn't think of it, the cad. The inexplicable dimming of the light when no one else was using the gas was perhaps the most effective thing in convincing Ingrid she was losing it, yet it was only an unintended consequence of his using the light in the attic during his searches for the gems. I don't think it was even clear whether he was aware of it its effect on her as she only mentioned it in passing. Given that this was the title of the movie, you'd think they would've tried to have him use it as part of his many nefarious schemes to unbalance her once he'd learned about it.

reply

It's the title of the movie because the gaslight is one of the key pieces she has to prove she isn't crazy and one of the main links that ties her husband to his true activities.

reply

My husband and I use the term often.
We don't tease each other like this, but we'll say...
"I feel like I'm being *gaslighted*" :)

I'm surprised how often I have to explain it to people.

Good movie. It's on now, on TCM.

Be well...

Shal...

reply

Funny, my wife and I do the same thing.

"I was feeling well enough to eat the pears." -Lizzy Borden

reply

hehe well, I have had this be part of my life in 2 ways --- my childhood was in a family that liked classic movies - so, when we were confused or felt we were being played, we imitated Ingrid Bergman ---- flailing our head around and complaining about the lights dimming...... then as an adult, my bf and I would imitate Charles Boyers voice.... "Pawwwwwwla... youre imagining things again...." when we were trying to pull some wool over the other ones eyes....

reply

Surprised? You'd have to be like 90 years old to see this film when it came out in 1944 AD. To see Paula get married so fast, to have horrible personal boundaries, to take all that abuse, to not know to trust herself, to give away all her 'power' to such an obvious terrible romantic partner/husband, to allow herself to move back into her dark days with a murder in her old house, to be so bound by tradition & the custom of the day - well, I just couldn't watch it! Talk about the bad old days. How about something more comforting & familiar like Little House on the Prairie or children's shows or some old bible book about slaughtering gay or lesbian people or those from another nation-tribe to have sweet dreams?

reply

Gaslighting is a term used for psychological abuse coined from the Gas Light movie: see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

This abuse causes the victim to doubt themself: memory, perceptions, intuition,
etc. These behaviors are done in secrecy, behind closed doors, so that friends & community end up validating the abuser not the victim's experience.

See also the books: Verbally Abusive Behavior; The Verbally Abuse Survivors Guide; Controlling People; and The Verbally Abusive Man - all by Patricia Evans.
here is her web site - http://www.patriciaevans.com/
or see Borders.com or Amazon. com to order.

These books helped me see I was being psychologically and verbally abused and gave me the strength, and resolve to change my situation.

The perpetrator may have problems with alcoholism or personality disorders.

Please get help if you recocgnize a problem. Local domestic violence shelters, libraries, doctors, psychologists, churches, & Al-anon can be of help.

see also:
http://tearsandhealing.com/abuse2.htm?utm_content=2Abused-nomore-TkCare-Getbook&gclid=CODpktv-y5ACFRuhFQodBTLrXA

Love,hugs & blessings

reply

It can be fun if you let them in on it.
not in a long long term abusive way.


reply

[deleted]

You are far too inclined to worry, pocomarc! There's no doubt your right wing views are perfectly agreeable to all. You've just been a little bit tired and forgetful recently and are imagining that there is any of that nasty 'dissent' stuff out there.
_____
I suppose on a clear day you can see the class struggle from here.

reply

pocomarc is a typical rightwinger, spreading his stink and fixated hate even to something so dissassociated [sic] as a movie discussion thread.

"My brain rebelled, and insisted on applying logic where it was not welcome."

reply

[deleted]

I always wondered where the term came from?

reply

It's when you fart into a lighter and it creates like a fireball.

reply

I have been 'Gaslighted' as a means of harassment. To survive such a direct attack on one's psyche you cannot doubt your own sanity or memories.

reply

im assuming it has reference to the scene in which paula notices the gaslight in the parlour is not working at full capacity, meaning someone has turned the gas on upstairs, in the attic full of her aunt's belongings, and therefore it ties in with all of the insanity themes.

just one man's assumptions.

reply

I have heard this term on an episode of Law @ Order CI... pop culture w/ Eames and Goren. (Vincent D'nofrino & Kate Erbe)

It has been misused in other works, but to make it clear "you're being gaslighted" means someone has set you up good and you either start to believe it or believe it fully. The term is wrong when the person "knows" they are 100 percent correct about their sanity.

The CI Episode is squirelly but believes Det. Goran is losing it hence the correct reference...which eventually helps him through it.

You are being gaslighted if you have at least average intellegince and believe and even question what is happening is true. there are novels short novels, movies, etc. such as Invaders of the Body Snatchers where the character knows he is correct...there are other movies that tend to end with the audience guessing.

The second paragraph explains it perfectly.

reply

Not true. Anyone can be gaslit. There is no level of intelligence required to be the victim.

reply

[deleted]

Yes i have been a victim of Gaslighting. Look up the term Narcissistic Peronsalit Disorder. My ex has this disorder and Gaslighting is part of their traits. I was a victim of this for 3 years and had to have alot of therapy after & am still getting my head straight now. Alot of victims of Narcissitic abuse suffer PTSD as a result. It horrible!

reply

Yea me too, gaslighting is *beep* up. It started with an Narcissist and ended up in a mental hospital. The PTSD or even CPTSD is no fun at all. It took me years to convince my therapist that i was not as insane as they belived. It near killed me.

reply

[deleted]

Cool, I've only seen 2 references on tv/film since my post above. I need to check out the movie you quoted from...totally on topic.

They mostly come out at night...mostly--Newt/Eric Cartman...

reply

It might be a minor example, but All My Children's Erica Kane was convinced that one of her husband, Adam, I think, was trying to gaslight her. I looked it up and it made me want to take a good look at this fine film.

If it is not in the frame, it does not exist!

reply