MovieChat Forums > Demi Lovato Discussion > Uh, why are we feeling sorry for her and...

Uh, why are we feeling sorry for her and wishing her well and shit?

posted 6 years ago by not_a_virus.exe (1267)
18 replies | jump to latest

Why don't those same people feel the same sympathy for the local crack addict bleeding out from their forearms in downtown Vancouver or San Francisco? I don't see any pity for them. We would all sooner have them OD just so we can be rid of their disgusting lifestyles littering up our streets, but this woman is different? Why? Why doesn't she get held to the same standard all other drug addicts do? If she OD'd on drugs, it's because she chose to take them in the first place. Why should anyone be feeling sorry for her?

[–] Wuchak (8733) 6 years ago

There's a difference between someone who has fallen into a lifestyle of drug abuse and someone who flirts with it seeking fulfillment. The former sought fulfillment at first too, of course, but now they're stuck in a pit of addiction and their lives & potential are essentially squandered, although there's still hope IF they have ears to hear (i.e. they're not too far gone).

We're wishing Demi well so she doesn't end up like that... or dead.

Besides, have YOU ever made a foolish choice? And weren't you happy you had the opportunity to turn around? And didn't you appreciate those who believed in you and didn't give up?

[–] not_a_virus.exe (1267) 6 years ago

I've made plenty of foolish choices yes, but nothing as foolish as "dancing and flirting with drugs to seek fulfillment". None of my bad choices in life have ruined it. They were lessons. But to suggest that taking drugs is the same as that is ludicrous. I honestly can't believe what I'm hearing. That there's a difference between someone who uses drugs as their lifestyle choice, and someone that uses drugs as a "game". Nothing short of insanity. Drugs are NOT a game. No one should be defending her decision to "flirt" with them in the name of spontaneous curiosity. We all know what drugs are, how they destroy lives, and if anyone chooses to ignore all that just to "flirt" with them, deserves absolutely no such sympathy at all. I hate this double standard that we have where we look down on drugs addicts on the street (and rightly so), but then this radically different tone of voice when it happens to a celebrity. Disgusting.

[–] Wuchak (8733) 6 years ago

I encourage you to read my post again because you misunderstood it. I never "defended her decision" to flirt with drugs, far from it. I'm totally against the misuse of drugs to seek fulfillment and I think that was pretty clear in my post.

My point was that there's a difference between someone who has fallen into the pitfall of drug addiction as a day-to-day lifestyle and someone who is foolishly flirting with drug abuse seeking happiness while not yet addicted. The former is in a dark, ugly pit and harder to "save" whereas the latter is at the edge of the pit and at high risk of falling in altogether.

Whether either of these people is a "nobody" on the street or a famous celeb is irrelevant.

As far as people caring about Demi's welfare, it's called COMPASSION -- "sympathetic understanding."

[–] not_a_virus.exe (1267) 6 years ago

I know what your point was. I didn't misread it. My point simply contradicted what you say. You saying there is a difference between chronic drug abusers and those who "flirt" with drugs is irrelevant because unless you were born into drug use with shitty parents, both parties had a choice. One fell of the deep end with their drug habits and the other didn't. but they both knowingly "danced" with a product that was entirely designed to fuck them up and they knew it. And for that, neither one deserves compassion. But somehow the richer and more famous you are, the more you get. It's completely perverted.

[–] Wuchak (8733) 6 years ago

Clearly you did misunderstand my post because you suggested that I was "defending her decision" to flirt with drugs, which is absurd. I wasn’t doing that in the least.

unless you were born into drug use with shitty parents, both parties had a choice.

You're stating the obvious. Where did I say otherwise?

You argue that neither type deserves compassion because they both willingly chose to misuse drugs. I see where you're coming from and agree to a point: IF the person stubbornly defends their foolish lifestyle choice and refuses to get out, get help, whatever, that’s where my compassion ends. But IF someone humbly acknowledges his/her mistake and WANTS out and is willing to do what’s necessary to be free, s/he is worthy of compassion.

Demi is in the latter category. Whether she’s famous or not is irrelevant.

[–] not_a_virus.exe (1267) 6 years ago

"You're stating the obvious. Where did I say otherwise?"

You didn't. Where did I state that you stated otherwise?

"You argue that neither type deserves compassion because they both willingly chose to misuse drugs. I see where you're coming from and agree to a point: IF the person stubbornly defends their foolish lifestyle choice and refuses to get out, get help, whatever, that’s where my compassion ends. But IF someone humbly acknowledges his/her mistake and WANTS out and is willing to do what’s necessary to be free, s/he is worthy of compassion."

Well at least you're fair.

[–] fabian5003 (63) 6 years ago

You have a lot to learn about life. People do not spontaneously decide to do drugs just for the sake of it. Addiction is way more complicated than just saying they chose that lifestyle. It's something that traces back all the way to the childhood of the individual, his attachment to his caretakers and his way to cope with problems. That's why addictions affect people all over the hierarchy.

[–] not_a_virus.exe (1267) 6 years ago

Bullshit. Yes some have it rough and are raised around drugs their whole lives, but I suspect that's not the case with her/ A woman so privileged and wealthy she has all the options at her fingertips. And she still chooses drugs? Absolutely no excuse for this.

[–] fabian5003 (63) 6 years ago

Dude, you think having everything at her fingertips equals optimal mental health? Celebrities ODing has been a recurring theme ever since celebrities have existed. Rich people see their wealth in the same way you see tap water in your house. You are grateful for it but the truth is that as time goes by we give it for granted. This is a consistent human behaviour across the world. We need to quickly adapt to what's new and good things in our life become commonplace.

You "suspecting" her case is different is just a baseless assumption. Just like the assumptions I could make about you just because of the posts you write. You know life is more complex than that. Only you know all the things that have happened in your life. Same goes for everyone. Even celebrities.

[–] not_a_virus.exe (1267) 6 years ago

But the difference is that I've never pitied any celebrity that has OD'd on drugs. Even as big of a fan of Layne Stayley as I was, the man made his own bed. No one could do anything about it. A LOT of people have mental health problems. Especially today. Yet none of them have the kind of money or reach she does to solve it. So why then should she of all people, with all of her potential solutions, be the one to get all this sympathy? She should be getting LESS not more...

[–] twinA (4921) 6 years ago

She's positively touched a lot of people's lives with her music. The fans relate to her that way, that she is part of their lives. Her shortcomings are overlooked because they are not taking her at face-value. There's a lot of athletes who have abused substances, not that I'm equating her as pushing the behavior, who's fans have forgiven them and were able to clean up their act in the public's eyes. It's no excuse but it's a reason.

[–] not_a_virus.exe (1267) 6 years ago

I see. So a drug users life is only worth worrying about if they're musicians or athletes. Makes sense. Pity only exists for the rich and famous. What else is new...

[–] twinA (4921) 6 years ago

In the context of people thinking they know someone, yes, whether it is true of not. The rich and famous are more visible, but at the same time as you are demonstrating here, much more open to scrutiny. Does the person in question deserve it though?

[–] not_a_virus.exe (1267) 6 years ago

Deserve which? The scrutiny or the criticism? I'm mostly at odds with the hypocritical double standard imposed by the very people that wouldn't give the light of day to their local crack fiends downtown. I really could not care less that Demi is using drugs. That's her business, but I also don't care if she OD's as a result. And I have a problem with those that do. It's disgusting the level of hypocrisy that rotates around these people.

[–] twinA (4921) 6 years ago

Both. In a just world, all people are deserving of compassion and help. We live in one where some need more of it than others, some get more of it than they need, and others flat out refuse to help themselves, as if they've given up. Objectively, it's better to try to help everyone as much as possible since there's no way to determine which needs helps those best as it is to everyone's benefit. I don't know where I'm going with this, like we're headed down the road of philosophy. By shedding light on how unfair the system is, Demi can focus on being the role model she needs to be. Disclosure, I don't consider myself a super fan of her.

[–] not_a_virus.exe (1267) 6 years ago

The problem is that I believe we give far too much sympathy and pity to where it's unjustified and to a degree, stifling. We teach our children "don't do drugs" all the time. There's PA's at the end of GI Joe not do to it. but they grow up and do it anyway. And something all of those warnings that they've ignored, somehow mean nothing because they make nice music for teenagers. There's no reason why this woman deserves sympathy. And even less reason why she should be a role model. Lest kids grow up to "dance" with drugs the same way she feels the need to.

[–] Fonz (638) 6 years ago

I feel for them too, but we just don’t hear about them unless we know them. With that being said I hope Demi recovers well.

[–] leader (1959) 6 years ago

She already did. Xtina visited her in the hospital.