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IMO, for your "Sam consented to a plan, he didn't know it involved an angel", I doubt Sam was mad that Dean saved his life, he was mad that he was LIED to and gaslighted for months to the point he was starting to doubt his own sanity and judgement. And I think Death was real because he is 2nd most powerful being in the universe, he waltzed through Hell and the Cage (where legions of angels fought and conspired for thousands of years to open Lucifer's Cage) so why couldn't he just waltze though Sam's dream/head. The actor played as if Death was real because he figured that's the writers' intention.

Sorry i'm rambling, I just discovered Supernatural and the awesome Jared.

Well if Death didn't want angels to interfere with the natural order, he would have stopped the angels many times over with their vessel making and apocalypse planning, but he never did. The most he interfered was giving Dean the ring. Death, like God, would rather just let the lower beings (meaning everything below them) hash it out on their own, free will and all.

Honestly I don't rely too much on what actors say at conventions because they are not the writers. Misha himself give contradicting stories about his character. Ultimately it's not up to the actor. Seriously, how much of the general audience stalk... I mean pay attention to interviews of spn cast and crew? A small percentage I imagine. I loved the show Buffy to pieces, but I almost never read interviews by the cast or crew.

The problems Sam brought up with his relationship with Dean was stuff that happened before the Gadreel business. Sam stopped the Trials because he trusted Dean that they will find another way. Then almost immediately Dean lied and gaslighted Sam for months. But this isn't new, it's been going on since season 6 (I've read posts that said it's been going on since season 2, the lying to Sam and undermining him). Dean tells Sam to make him "stone number one" and the next episode he killed Sam's friend after promising to trust Sam's judgement and then lying about for weeks? months?

I love this article by a Dean girl on why Sam setting boundaries is a good thing. ( http://arkvark.tumblr.com/post/75689489096/9x13-boundaries-are-good-ev en-if-other-people )

Boundaries are good, even if other people don’t enjoy it when you set them

Brodependency has long cast Dean being more codependent on Sam than Sam on Dean. This does not mean that Sam loves Dean less than Dean loves Sam, but being that Dean is Sam’s figurative father, in the natural order it is the child who looks forward to leaving the parental home, it does not mean the parent-child bond is broken, it simply means it is different but no less loving.

Dean physically took care of Sam, and Sam tried to make things easier for Dean. How? Sam did what I have done, erase himself bit by bit in vain hope that he will be rewarded by Dean in form of acknowledgement for what a great person Sam is and presto, equal partnership. Right away an objective person can see the fallacy of this thinking, but people in relationships do this all the time - women who are sooooo understanding and supportive, believing their partner will magically see what awesome girlfriends they are…. except there is no award for the most understanding girlfriend. I was the “good daughter” trying to bribe my mom to be a good mother, but all it did was give my mom permission to treat me like an object.

Sam’s passivity didn’t solve the problems in their relationship, so finally Sam is setting boundaries and saying hard to hear but necessary words. Boundaries are words enforced with consequences, so there can be no “gentle” words in boundary setting because the partner will think there is still a way in or around the boundaries. People who are getting the boundaries usually don’t understand why it is happening, so Dean is in total character for not apologizing. If people honor the boundaries then at least they have the chance of still being in the person’s life. And if they learn and understand why the boundaries were necessary, then that’s a HUGE bonus and happy ever after for everybody! Except that rarely happen and usually the best case scenerio is both parties learn to work with the new relationship policy according to its script

Personal thoughts: I think Carver was telling the truth that he has a 3 year arc plan, there is a structure that’s starting to take shape before my eyes. He’s breaking down the relationship so he can rebuild it to his vision and that process of course is going to be hard to watch, though after first half of season 8, season 9 is feeling much less heart stabby. My best hope is the angel business is done by the end of season 9, and we go into season 10 with the Mark of Cain business

I apologize for my linking spree, I just love it when Dean girls get it.
(http://mallorytoyourmickey.tumblr.com/post/78851645886/battlewornhero- dean-forgives-those-he-loves)

I have to say this as a Dean!Girl I am desperate for Dean to apologize. I am desperate for character growth for Dean, I don’t want him to be the angry surly man he is anymore. I want him to see that he can count on his brother, without the need to tether Sam to him. I want him to see that he can let Sam go and be released of the responsibility that was laid at his feet by a father who might have had good intentions but poisoned the waters for his sons.

I want Dean’s apology to Sam to be epic. I want it to move Sam in ways that Sam thought he was too depressed or to far gone to feel. I want it to drip with sincerity and have the promise of an equal partnership and a renewed brotherhood.

I want Dean to feel like he has been set free when he apologizes. I want him to do this for the brother he has loved his whole life and took care of and cherished. Dean owes Sam this respect.

If you love Dean, you should want him to apologize, you should want him to face what he did to Sam, and face Sam’s feelings of hurt and betrayal head on. It’s the path to the love of his brother and perhaps even a path for Dean to discover what the wonderful, amazing, loveable person he is.

I am hopeful, so hopeful they get Dean to this point. Can you imagine what our boy could be if he was allowed to grow this way?

I apologize for my linking spree, I just love it when Dean girls get it.

So... not only do you totally ignore Sam's faults, but you actively want anyone that is a Fan of Dean to "Get it".

And you wonder why people jumped on you on the SPN board.

Yeah, you're a piece of work, not only do you NOT have a decent thought of your own, but all you do is shove other people's attacks on Dean down people's throats.

Yeah. Stalker for Jared/Sam with no critical thinking at all.

"Slice, Pull, Staple, its a boy!" - Maul57
I can handle the whatever!

This blogger gives me optimism on where the road might be heading:
(http://waterbird13.tumblr.com/post/73393260379/okay-so-i-have-a-lot-of -thoughts-bear-with-me)

A lot of people blame the writers for Sam’s lack of agency and the attitude Dean takes towards it. But I do not nor have I ever seen it that way. This isn’t an accident. The writers aren’t like “whoops this guy has no agency, this guy takes advantage of that and evidently doesn’t know how to apologize, clumsy us.” These are deliberate choices. They are character traits, and they reflect their arcs, their stories, and their progression perfectly.

Look. Look at season one. Look at Sam as that kid who gets ripped around and remembers a childhood where he was at his father’s and brother’s whim and had no say in anything. Look at Dean as the bossy older brother who likes being in charge, who thinks he knows best and is rarely able to concede anything. I don’t know why people thought these traits disappeared, because they never did. People act surprised when they re-manifest.

The fact is, Sam’s entire life has been ruled by external forces. He’s been taught that virtually every independent decision he’s made is wrong. Dean’s entire life has been about control, and solitary leadership, and the appearance of such. Guys in charge don’t apologize. They do what Dean did in this latest episode—they justify their failures until they’re blue in the face, and, sure, they admit failure when they have to, but they sure don’t say sorry. Dean can claim Kevin’s death as his fault but he can’t say “sorry Sam, I let an angel possess you against your will.” No, he justifies.

See. I expect that from these characters. And now, back to me being an optimist. I also expect it to change.

First of all, recently we’re seeing a ton of arcs and parallels and calls to how Supernatural has treated Sam’s mistakes and Sam’s agency and Dean’s famous inability to let go and apologize where he needs to. Dean and Cas had their heart to heart about how they “just got played.” Now, the pessimist in me is seeing this once again as Dean and Cas getting off consequence free (or relatively consequence free) and Sam being left in damnation. But the optimist is hoping it’s an enlightenment, where they will understand how Sam’s life has been and how the consequences he continually faces are not fair and frankly terrible.

Gadreel’s arc is of course a parallel to Sam’s, and while I don’t know where it’s going to lead, one can only hope good places.

Sam throws the angel possessing him out of his body, proving how strong and powerful and ultimately in control of himself he is. Will this fix everything? Of course not. Sam has depression and low self-esteem and a fractured relationship with his brother to repair first. But it’s most definitely a start, a showing of “look, Sam owns that body.”

Dean’s inability to apologize is of course tied in to Sam’s agency, because as long as Dean refuses to admit what he did was wrong, then Sam really can’t claim full agency. As long as the idea exists that Dean can do whatever he wants as long as he feels it best, then Sam does not have agency in that relationship. Which is where the bridge scene comes into play. Sam was willing to talk if Dean stayed. If Dean had stopped, Sam would’ve told him that he wasn’t mad because of the reasons Dean feels guilty. He would’ve taught Dean to (for once) think beyond his own guilt and pain and face up to the consequences of his actions. Sam wants an apology. He wants a promise for Dean to trust him, to not lie to him (something Dean has always demanded of Sam, I should note). He wants to be equals. He wants to have as much agency in that relationship as Dean does. Sam is getting closer to ready to claim agency of himself and his body, and maybe, tentatively, ready to force the idea that others should accept his own personal agency as well. Because the supernatural has screwed with Sam plenty, but the one who has done the most damage—mentally, especially—is Dean.

And Dean asked “What’s that supposed to mean?” He walks away, so he doesn’t get an answer. He’s evidently not ready. But I hope the question sticks with him. I hope when they reunite (which we all know must happen), we won’t get a “woe is to Dean, sweep the consequences under the rug and let him show man-pain” once more. I hope we’ll get a conversation. I hope they’re reaching the point where Sam can say: this is my body. And I am your partner. Treat me like you want me to treat you.

Long story short: This is the longest, most grueling arc in Supernatural. And they’ve set it up where I could potentially see the start of a real resolution. And I’m optimistic enough to tentatively hope that that’s where they are steering this show.

If Dean does indeed come to see Sam as an individual and treat him as an equal, then it was indeed the longest, most grueling arc ever! Demon deals are 10 years, right? It's as if Dean really did get 10 years out of his demon deal back in season 2 and seeing that there are 2 years of time jump in Supernatural, it could all make sense! Whoa.