The most horrible guy I ever met.

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Sorry about that bro.
Guy's a p.o.s. by all accounts.

I had a copy of Out for Justice that had already been signed by Gene LeBell. I saw Seagal coming out of an essential oils wholesaler one day, so I walked up to him and asked him if he'd be kind enough to sign it (I carry it with me wherever I go). He looked me up and down, left and right, and walked around me three times counter clockwise. He then kicked me in the nuts to see if I was wearing a cup and flipped me around several times like a little oriental guy for good measure. He then smiled, informed me that I was one tough SOB and said he would be happy to... but then literally passed out and sh!t in his pants when he saw Gene's signature on it.

Monkey with small testicles roar loudest -- Confucius

I have this copy of Nico, used to take it with me everywhere I go. Met Steven Seagal at a McDonald's and asked him to sign the tape.

He ate it and didn't even flinch.

Russia can have him.

I once saw him coming out of Subway. He was still hungry, ran into me, accused me of being a sandwich so he chased me for five seconds, ran out of breath, passed out and farted into his moo moo sized martial arts jump suit, which proceeded to inflate with each passing fart. He then floated away into the sunset.

Wow, what a comedian.

I once met Steven at a bar in Montreal. I immediately gave him my Marked for Death DVD for him to sign (I carry it with me all the time), he looked at me left and right, asked if I was hired to kill him... cracked my arms, crushed a jagerbomb on my head and said to me: "youre lucky I'm in a good mood". I cried all the way back home, in the taxi and left the DVD with the driver.

You will rise... from the ashes... of this world !