'Nother cow. Bill Paxton is a tool. A true story.
I woke up after three hours of sleep to a phone call. It was my sister, calling me from the hotel lobby where people eat and a nice media area is set up for the hotel guests. She asks me if I remember the monotone guy from the movie, "Titanic." You know, the one who with a southern drawl crawls out the words, "The Hope Diamond???" Anyway, let's move on.
Turns out, he's eating in the lobby. In a flash I run down the flight of stairs (I'm not an elevator guy) in hopes of catching a glimpse of an actor I already hated. It's him alright, but just to be sure my sister goes on the nearbye computer to search for pictures of him and his wife. Here it is:
http://eur.i1.yimg.com/eur.yimg.com/xp/premiere_photo/20050906/15/598151315.jpg
It was her, shorter hair though. Bill wasn't looking too good either. Nothing like he usually is. Must be tired from having a career in flops. So, my sister and I discuss what to do. Yes, we annoy celebs. But we're very polite and original. We never ask for an autograph, we think it's the lamest concept ever. So, she dares me to say "'Nother Cow" to him.
That's Helen Hunts line in Twister. He should say, if Bill Paxton has any sense of humor whatsoever, "No, I think that's the same one" in his amazing voice that holds absolutely no expression. I'm hesitant at first, it's the holidays and he's eating with his kids. **** it I say, I only live once. Plus, my sister promised me $5. Here's how it goes down.
I walk up to him and say excuse me sir. He IGNORES me. Oh no no *****, you're not better than me. I hold a 3.8 GPA and workout 5 days a week, you fail at acting. "Pardon me, sir" I say a bit more loudly, but politely thinking he might not hear me. Ignorance again. But his daughter is a saint.
"Daddy, someone's trying to talk to you!" she says in a cute southern twang. "Awesome" I think to myself. He looks at me. O_O
"I just wanted to say, I'm a really big fan of your movies. I'm sorry for bothering you and just wanted to say one thing."
"Movies???" ~ Bill Paxton
Okay, who the **** does this guy take me for? A moron? It's Bill Mother****ing Paxton here, acting as if he isn't an actor. It's like you calling a cable company to hook up a tv, and they say "Television???" as if they have no clue of what the concept is.
"Yes, uhm...movies. Well anyway, I just wanted to say...'Nother cow'. Sorry for bothering you and have a great vacation!"
So you know how you gag when you hear something funny? Then you laugh? He did the gag part, maybe a bit of a smile. Then...a scowl. I go back to finish breakfast and my sister tells me he looks really pissed off. So much so he's attacking his waffle [eating it savagely]. So, I escape the room. I take the flight of stairs to avoid him, and hide in my room. I mean, she told me it looks as if he was going to kill me here. So I hide out and tell them to meet me at the back of the hotel to pick me up. I wasn't going to run into this guy again. So I hide in the fenced in patio behind the hotel until they drive by to complete the search and rescue mission.
End story.