How do you tell your partner, 'you're in the mood'

I wear sexy lingerie.

I announce it out aloud in public so everybody else can hear.

I approach her from behind, put my hands on her hips, whisper in her ear that I love her, brush her hair back, breathe some warm breath on her neck before I lightly kiss it, and then I press my erection into her butt so hard it leaves a bruise.

I seldom get that far, the spray bottle with the ice water comes out before the whisper...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMGC3ptt7ew

I take a dump in the house, somewhere ‘hidden’ like behind a cupboard, and wait for her to follow the stink until she finds it. When she does and looks over at me with disgust, I’m standing there naked, winking at her.

When she calls the police I come 😉

REVEALED: How John Lennon told Yoko he was in the mood
https://www.101soundboards.com/sounds/133875-i-want-to-fuck-your-big-droopy-yellow-tits

Play some Glenn Miller.

I bring her Tylenol. She says "what's this for? I don't have a headache?"

Then I proceed to ram it in.

Signed, million man.