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Does Anyone Else Hate/Fear Getting What They Want?

posted 2 years ago by HarveyManFredSin (4877)
25 replies | jump to latest

In case they end up disappointed?

Does anyone know that feeing at all?

It can be a minor thing, like a sequel to a favourite film, or a particular product/item, or something more significant, like a dream job, or a wife and kids. But there's this fear that the thing you've been looking forward to forever might turn out to be a big disappointment, which in turn makes a mockery of the fact you've been desiring it for so long.

Like the saying goes: "Be careful what you wish for. You might end up getting it."

[–] R_Kane (15828) 2 years ago

Oscar Wilde: “There are only two great tragedies in life. One is never having your heart’s desire. The other is having it.”

Oscar Wilde was a very smart man.

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

Indeed. One could live their lives by Oscar Wilde quotes.

[–] Otter (24464) 2 years ago

Don't be silly.

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

What's 'silly'?

[–] Otter (24464) 2 years ago

People who don't know what they really want.

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

I guess that makes me silly then, since I never know what I really want.

I do know that the things I *think* I want, scare me.

[–] Otter (24464) 2 years ago

If you never know what you really want, you're doing it wrong.

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

Tell me about it. But there's not much I can do about it.

I knew what I wanted as a kid. But then people fucked me up and destroyed my life, and I had to work hard to get back to where I was, and by then I was like "This is too much just to get to where I was in the first fucking place. Do I really want the things I've been busting my fucking ass for all these years?"

This is why I DESPISE people who crush other people's dreams and ambitions. What kind of fuckwit does that? Let people fucking be. What kind of sicko gets off in putting up barriers and keeping people down?

I was discriminated against for having a mental illness. I see the same shit being done in certain communities to people who are gay or trans. Once again, just let these people be. It's no-one else's business that they are what they are, but sadly some sanctimonious (usually religious) asshole always shows up, thinking he has a right to foist his idea of what every other human-being should be, on the rest of us.

[–] Otter (24464) 2 years ago

If you're constantly feeling like life is crushing your dreams, even in little things, that's probably because your expectations are unrealistically high. And that's all.

Too-high expectations are the enemy of happiness, they guarantee disappointment.

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

I no longer have any high expectations, but one can still be disappointed about the past. I had to drop out of a lot of things I'd been doing well in, because of other people's feelings and judgement.

But even when I still get close to having something I want, it's been so long that I fear the results won't be as good as the desire/dream. People who *automatically* get what they want, don't have this problem, of course. Spoiled fucking brats.

[–] Otter (24464) 2 years ago

No, the real-life results are NEVER the same as the dream or desire, sometimes the reality is better and sometimes it's worse. Get that through your head and you'll be much better adjusted to the real world.

As for other people's feelings and judgement, remember that the only common factor in all those situations was *you*, which yes, is an indication that you might have been doing something wrong. Perhaps something consistently wrong.

But I'm not going to help you figure it out. I don't like you and I'm not your therapist. Bye.

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

Tell me how I was wrong for being attacked, for being accused of something I hadn't said, for dropping out of my career when a colleague of mine made an allegation against another guy, and I felt so guilty for not preventing the harm? It wasn't me who did anything wrong in any of those situations, and yet, I felt so bad and overwhelmed by what had happened to other people, that I couldn't take it anymore.

Yet, you think that *I'm* the bad guy, and you think I'm unlikeable? Seriously? With all due respect, have you seriously considered what I've said.

Other people fucked up. I took the responsibility for their fuck ups (because, unlike them, I have a conscience/feel guilty, even about stuff I haven't done). How does that mean *I'm* in the 'wrong'?!?

[–] BeaSouth (3565) 2 years ago

You have a lot of wisdom Otter. I disagree with probably 50% of your political comments but I respect your reasonable approach and always read your comments.

[–] ShogunofYonkers (78608) 2 years ago

No, I want what I want and what I want is a cheeseburger deluxe with fries and a beer or six!

[–] [deleted] 2 years ago

"you can't always get what you want"

M Jagger
K. Richards

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

How are you doing hownos?

I don't know if you remember me from a few years back.

We talked a bit about Line of Duty on a few occasions, if you can remember those discussions.

[–] [deleted] 2 years ago

Malko?

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

Was that my username back then? It might have been.

I thought I'd always been Harvey..., but it's possible I was Malko, based on Being John Malkovich, another favourite film of mine.

[–] [deleted] 2 years ago

malkovich was british as i recall.

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

That was most likely me then.

Anyway, I'm back. How are you doing?

[–] [deleted] 2 years ago

good to hear from you. i didn't realize you were back. have you seen any uk crime shows of late?

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

Thanks for the welcome back.

No, I haven't really seen any new crime shows of late.

In the interim, I did see Vigil, a BBC drama/thriller set on a submarine, which I'd highly recommend. It is made by some of the same people connected with Line of Duty.

But I was a little disappointed by the last season of LOD.

[–] [deleted] 2 years ago

I watched The Rig which wasn't very good.

[–] HarveyManFredSin (4877) 2 years ago

I didn't see that one. I just did a check, and I see that it *also* stars Martin Compston, who's in LOD *and* Vigil. Anyway, I'd still recommend the latter, if you're interested. It's a decent 'who-dunnit' and it appears to be better regarded than The Rig.

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7386) 2 years ago

Not sure, coz I wouldn't even call it a fear, it's just a reality that coincides with our desires. Doesn't mean you don't want what you want, there's just a co-existing feeling of "well, this might not feel/equal what you think it'll equal once you have it", but it's never really stopped me from pursuing what I want or wanting it.