Bad Jokes Thread

A man with a crow perched on his shoulder walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender.
"Old Crow on the rocks," the man replies.
"Oh, I get it," the bartender chuckles. "For your 'friend' there. And what will you be having, sir?"
"No, it's for me," the man explains. "But would you be so kind as to bring him some roadkill?"

There's a hole in her panties.

a physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions... when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "wait, professor! what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?"

and the professor responds, "that's no hydroxyl ion.. that's my wife!"

What do you call an elephant that’s unimportant?

An irrelephant

Where do wheelchair using Elk's park there cars?
In a deer-sabled parking space LOL

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s okay. He woke up.