MovieChat Forums > General Discussion > Are we brainwashed to believe in Love?

Are we brainwashed to believe in Love?

posted 4 years ago by snepts (11123)
10 replies | jump to latest

Yesterday I felt like posting Alison Krauss singing When You Say Nothing on Shogun's What Are You Listening To thread.
But it seemed too sappy.
However, today the song is careening through my head.
I think it goes, The smile on your face lets me know that you need me. There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me.

I'm thinking - Sure ! If only Life was really like that !
So why do we believe in Love when we're very likely going to be crushed by it?

A Cynic is a Disappointed Idealist. That's one for the Aphorism thread.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

not at all. it's a real thing that people experience.

i mean, you could make an objective, maybe even utilitarian case that people might be better off avoiding the risk of trying, because it might all end in misery & divorce & debt and all that.

but there are lots and lots of people who don't end up that way.

& this is one of those areas of life where, even if it makes you unhappier in some concrete long-term way, you try because it's an integral part of the human experience. evolved impulses to have that kind of bonding exist, and even if it's fleeting, it surely can be rewarding.

not that i really know anything about such matters. i'm a troubled loner and a miserable failure at that stuff. but my life would be better if that wasn't the case for sure.

[–] snepts (11123) 4 years ago

Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply.
I'm not figuring to fix this ancient riddle, but struck me to wonder ....

[–] sslssg (35199) 4 years ago

I think that it's a chemical reaction that we have.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

May as well get something out of life while you can. If love is a disappointing to you then maybe you need to find out why before you ponder the question too much. You might be right but it seems that it's likely you'll be miserable either way.

[–] snepts (11123) 4 years ago

Interesting take. Sometimes I'm miserable, sometimes I'm amused/bemused.
In this instance, I thought giving yourself completely over to someone is asking for heartbreak, but yes, there is that wonderful impulse to wrap yourself in Love.
And it's a REAL coin flip how you're going to feel at the other end.

[–] snepts (11123) 4 years ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyEyDiEBgv8

[–] plusplus (467) 4 years ago

Biochemically speaking, falling in love is like being on drugs for about half a year

[–] snepts (11123) 4 years ago

Won't argue, and it's pretty funny.
I love the buzz of meeting someone who "checks all the boxes" but then there are so many other boxes I hadn't thought about.
Then they resort to - I'm more interested in ME than I'm interested in you, and I'll think - YES, I'm the same !
And suddenly - We don't care about each other.

Maybe I care about her, but she doesn't, so I'm the dope.

I'm supposed to be smarter than this, but it still hurts to be rejected for being endemically inclined to trust people.

[–] Wint3rFir3 (7386) 4 years ago

I think actual love is real, but that there's a difference between this and romantic love.

If you're talking about romantic love, then yes. We are absolutely brainwashed. Just take a look at what is acceptable in a relationship in one society versus a totally different one, or what was acceptable in a relationship 100 years ago compared to now in the same society.

We have very specific expectations about how and in what ways we want to be loved and how those ways should make us feel because they're all prescribed to us. I think that many people strive to achieve that ideal, and they either settle into one that is close to what is prescribed or become desperate/disillusioned when they don't or, if they do, when they don't feel the way they expect to feel.

[–] [deleted] 4 years ago

If you can’t love yourself, how the HELL are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen up in here?

*AMEN*

Alright now let the music play

🎶💃🎶💃🎶💃🎶💃🎶