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Anyone else find jadedness to be toxic/stressful?

posted 5 years ago by SolemnMime (174)
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People in particular who have that sort of jaded/lack of hope/extremely nihilistic approach to everything. I can't stand this as it's toxic in the sense that this rubs off on you -- makes you feel the same way. Think like being around angry people all day -- you'd probably feel angry yourself too, no? But there's just something about jaded people that rubs me an even worse way than just a short fuse -- like some just involuntarily suck you in to that mindset/mentality. I am open to different views, but these people just bring me down and demotivate me with the whole "nothing matters" and "whatever" approach to anything -- like it feels like some have just given up in life and just live through in a state of acceptance of enduring failure/like they're unable to make changes/just don't care about things much. I'm not saying it's specifically outright depressive moods, but there's likely some overlap with it as the mindset is that of hopelessness/no effort to change a bad situation/etc. I think some people try and fail, then just accept that they're "in that bad place" and give up trying.

Call it delusional and maybe it is, but I prefer positivity over learned helplessness/more sullen outlooks that some have.

[–] themercdee (39) 5 years ago

Everyone goes through a peroid of where it seems nothings going right and the future seems to hold the same. The key lies in whether the person is willing to get over it or do they want to stay there.
If the former then lets help the buddy , if the latter then burn on your own till you see the light buddy.

[–] SolemnMime (174) 5 years ago

I agree (even as multiple periods), but not everyone falls so far down the rabbit hole of insurmountable ill/woes.

I think it's all about how fast you can pick yourself back up mentally -- and avoiding becoming engrossed in a "toxic mold" of helplessness/stuck in bad situations/etc. This is how I see the issues with some correlations such as crime/jailing, depression/anxiety, stressful/dysfunctional family situations and etc. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy of stress, pain, inadequacy, ignorance, etc. -- it feeds off of its own effects and then recycles them. I know it isn't all mental, but the mind is very powerful in outlook/perception.

[–] themercdee (39) 5 years ago

Sometimes fast is not possible...sometimes you need to stare As horror looks you right between your eyes.
and you 're paralyzed '
Coz this is Thriller!!!!!
I mean yes you are paralyzed by the belief that no matter what you do it wont work. SO you need to face that place stay there then get out and that is not always necessarily easy to do quickly....sometimes someone needs to be left alone and stay there till they get tired enough of it to get out .....

[–] SolemnMime (174) 5 years ago

Hmm ... Interesting way of putting it. I guess when you put it that way it does make sense -- at least in some cases.

I suppose my "fast" was that the faster you snap back the better things are bound to be than digging yourself out of a hole.

[–] themercdee (39) 5 years ago

For some they cannot do it fast maybe because they dont have the tools to do so. Either the way they were raised or their current other circumstances.
Some people dont even know or believe what you last said namely" I know it isn't all mental, but the mind is very powerful in outlook/perception."
They have been taught otherwise . They are not aware the power they have to change their situation

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[–] Wint3rFir3 (7146) 5 years ago

I will say, I think it's important to show compassion for people who are jaded. However, I still often find such people to be self-indulgent fun-suckers.

I have a friend who is the very definition of the word. Let's call my friend Mike. Over time, Mike went from being a sweet introvert who shared some of my interests to a very vocal vacuum for happiness every time we would talk - which we only do online because he rarely leaves his house anymore. It started when he finished university and became disillusioned by the fact that success isn't automatically handed to you after you graduate, but that was years ago. He refuses to acknowledge that life can only change if a person changes their actions/mindset etc. and would never even consider trying something different to achieve a different outcome.

It's such a bummer to be friends with a person like that, so I've drastically cut back our interactions over time. There's only so much support you can give someone before you realize there's no benefit from such a friendship for either person.