It’s hard playing piano with short fingers

I mentioned something about this on another thread. I have relatively short fat fingers. I joke that "I know this town like the back of my thumb."

Also hard to play the guitar.

Yes, the structure of your body can definitely suggest what your best options are in certain circumstances. It’s not the end of the world. Some pianists have enormous hand spans. Tall people can be better at basketball than short people. Small people have an advantage in gymnastics. Large people are at a disadvantage in marathon running because their skeleton is pounded more than lither people. If what you’re doing is a hobby, disregard your body and just have fun. If it’s more than a hobby, adopt a professional attitude and make the choice that is best for the tools and skills that you have.

Try playing those guitars that are two guitars

Just play piano (or any other musical instruments) on a laptop, deadmau5-style.

I have long skinny fingers too but I have been playing the piano since I was five years old, so did Mozart! I'm sure you can find a way to do this. Or maybe you can find another instrument to play. Best wishes! Music must be important to you.

What is average finger length? Does it vary between male and female? I assume it does, but how and when does one realize that their fingers are shorter than average?? I guess I'm thinking more in terms of having smaller hands so the fingers would be shorter. Am I off-base??

With shorter fingers you just have to get more creative and nimble in the way you move around the keyboard. There's no denying, though, that longer fingers/handspans make certain things to play on piano more easily and smoothly executed, particularly when involving octaves and greater spans.

I once knew a boy who not only had small hands but was born with missing fingers. Our piano tutor helped him adapt how to go about playing pieces, and he played astonishingly well, sounded no different to very accomplished players with all their fingers. But you can imagine the span limitations this guy had without all his fingers. He got around the challenge somehow and was a fantastic pianist.

As for independent finger movement - you can totally work on that. That's something nobody truly has a whole lot of naturally but they can increase it by regular and specific movements and exercises that work on finger independence either deliberately or as a by-product of some other activity. You can google on exercises for this. A lot of it is actually brain not physical.