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9 yr old's suicide for bullying for saying he's gay. This is maddening! 9 yr olds don't know

posted 6 years ago by ProductionNow (1072)
59 replies | jump to latest

A 9 yr old has not even entered puberty, yet he he decides to tell all classmates he's gay, and is bullied until he ends his life four days later. The fact that a child would know about suicide is also distorted. We have to stop exposing 9 yr olds to things which makes them even ponder if they are gay, transsexual, etc.. It's too young, not "progressive" of society. Of course the kids were going to bully him, but this rushed-exposure for a child so young to be examining sex and their sexuality is a sign that something is really wrong. They should be focusing on what toy they favor, or spending their time playing--not being influenced by something out of their realm.
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A Denver mom says her 9-year-old son died by suicide in their home on Thursday after experiencing bullying in school. She is now sharing the story in hopes of shining a light on bullying and suicide, KDVR reports.

Leia Pierce says bullying was a factor in the death of her son, Jamel Myles, who started fourth grade just last week. Over the summer, Jamel came out to his mother as gay, she said. "(H)e looked so scared when he told me. He was like, 'Mom I'm gay.' And I thought he was playing, so I looked back because I was driving, and he was all curled up, so scared. And I said, I still love you," Pierce told the station.

Jamel wanted to tell his classmates at Joe Shoemaker Elementary School. "He went to school and said he was going tell people he's gay because he's proud of himself," the mother said.

She said when her son came out, he also opened up about wanting to dress more femininely. Pierce said her son told her, "I know you buy me boy stuff because I'm a boy, but I'd rather dress like a girl."

Just four days after starting school last week and coming out to his classmates, Jamel took his own life. Pierce told KDVR that bullying was a factor.

"Four days is all it took at school. I could just imagine what they said to him," Pierce said. "My son told my oldest daughter the kids at school told him to kill himself. I'm just sad he didn't come to me."

The Denver Post reports the coroner's office confirmed the child's death was a suicide, and the Denver Public Schools sent a letter to families about the incident on Friday. The school district said it's providing extra social workers and a crisis team for students. In a statement, the district also said it will continue to offer support to the boy's family.

"We should have accountability for bullying ... I think the parent should be held [responsible] because obviously the parents are either teaching them to be like that, or they're treating them like that," Pierce said of school bullies. She said she hopes no parent ever has to go through this pain because their child is different from everyone else.

For immediate help if you are in a crisis, call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), which is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. All calls are confidential.

After a suicide attempt, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention recommends putting together a safety plan, a list of coping and support strategies for when someone is distressed or in a suicidal crisis. The Stanley-Brown Safety Plan app has been approved by the AFSP.

[–] Skullomania (483) 6 years ago

When I was 9 I knew I was a Jedi.

[–] overseas7 (4236) 6 years ago

That is endless sad.

[–] ItsTheAngelMan (135) 6 years ago

I agree it's totally insane. Stupid little kid got "encouraged" by equally naive "adults", into something he never should have done.

Whenever I've seen headlines on HuffPo or elsewhere talking about little kids identifying as gay or trans. I just cringe and think "why?"

What I would like to focus on now, is how the kids who bullied him are being treated. Are they proud of themselves? I hope the teachers and their parents are letting them know what a bunch of douches they've been and they are facing punishments.

If "society" thinks it's okay for kids to come out when they're 9 then kids should be able to be arrested at that age for harassment and whatever other charges you can throw at them. If you don't agree with that then let's stop exposing clueless little kids to information about, and questions of, sexuality and such.

[–] ProductionNow (1072) 6 years ago

Most 9 yr olds who bully are not at the age to feel shamed and guilt, and to understand cause=affect.

[–] ItsTheAngelMan (135) 6 years ago

Right so you're saying this should just go unpunished? jesus H christ. Wish R. Lee Ermey was here to ear-blast your face off.

[–] ProductionNow (1072) 6 years ago

I said nothing about being punished or unpunished. That's what you're saying that I said. The issue was the childrens' regret/shame/conscience (or lack thereof.) in correlation to the brain-development of 9 yr old

[–] ItsTheAngelMan (135) 6 years ago

Really? Well there are grown people who have also bullied people to suicide, in the workplace. With most of them, I wonder how much their brains have advanced. Horrible behaviour should be punished whether they "can help it" or not.
What was the point of your post, if not to suggest that they shouldn't be punished?

[–] ProductionNow (1072) 6 years ago

Look, confused poster:
People, unfortunately, will be bullied, and it will never end. That is what human nature causes people to do (among other things). But, we live in this absurd, idealistic new-age where we want/ need/ expect a solution to everything based on outrage. Bad things will happen to people like bullying, but the law cannot change the human-condition, for better or worse (especially for 9 YEAR OLDS). The quote "9 yr olds don't know " in my headline was referring to the suicide, not the bullies.

Laws control rules and concrete policy, but cannot prevent the human condition-- or we would have no suffering in the world like rape, sexual abuse, hate-crimes, robbery, etc. You must be projecting due your own history of being bullied, or something (or you are very young).

And you're being offensive by suggesting that I think anyone who does a bad thing should not be punished. That is YOUR interpretation. You can punish, punish, punish--that doesn't mean everyone is going to think "oh, look they got punished for bullying, so I won't bully", and expect them to change on-a-dime.

The "point" of my post is to be taken at face-value with no hidden-meaning, but that would be too simple for you. The rest of the posters understood the post at face-value, so question yourself as to why you are experiencing angst over it. I don't even know why I am replying to you, since you seem troubled or perhaps just wish to provoke.

[–] ItsTheAngelMan (135) 6 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ItsTheAngelMan (135) 6 years ago

ROFL. The mods deleted my awesome post. Looks like the mediocrities of the world work hard 24/7 to protect each other from too much reality.

[–] snepts (11123) 6 years ago

I don't know why or what kind of bubble I grew up in, but there was not a lot of bullying going on.
We didn't have a lot of diversity, but for every clueless person there were many more who were thoughtful and sympathetic. We weren't a bunch of angels, but people who were obviously mean and obnoxious were ostracized. They had very few followers, and sometimes a kid who was a physical match (or bigger) would warn a bully to "knock it off."
I'm dismayed we may be accepting bullying as part of the human condition and inevitable. Maybe with over-population and income disparity we are building a society where the art and craft of parenting is being lost for far too many children, not only the bullied for naivety and sensitiveness, but the bullies who have no care for the kids around them.
I would have thought we would have advanced a bit more by now. Talk about naive ! (Thanks Trumpers - sarcasm !)

[–] Starman (412) 6 years ago

Transsexual? So ignorant, trans people know they're trans or more accurately that they're the opposite gender than their body anatomy indicates even at 3 years old, before they can even fully talk or understand, and they know it till their 80's, to the end of life. Trans people are not even like most other people, their body biology is completely different from either males or females, they're medically recognized as intersex for a reason, and on average with a higher intelligence than most of the population, so that plays a role as well. It has nothing to do with sex, but the perception in the brain that a child recognizes very fast and early on if the body is right, because right around the age 4 we all are coming to be discovering our own body and physical anatomy. I dont know about homosexual people, as I have not studied the science behind it, but about transsexual this is something we know from research, it's simple nature, nothing to do with puberty or sex, but an intersex physiology of the body mismatching bio gender and bio sex, it's all about the brain neuro connections that regulate the body, not sexual orientation. I am sure that many of us already knew who we were attracted to already at 8, so knowing we'd be gay at 8 is also not far fetched. These things have nothing to do with society, but the body, society can only help to re-enforce what the body already knew in the first place. Thanks God that science does not pay attention to so many ignorant people who cringe because a little trans child knows something about themselves what can be already observed through the brain scans even at that age.

[–] snepts (11123) 6 years ago

I'm guessing a 9 year old is in the 4th grade. I recall feeling a little more sophisticated than perhaps kids are given credit for, and when I went to a new school in the 5th grade (age 9), I remember a pretty girl coyly showing me where my seat in the classroom was. So kids kind of have a vibe about attraction even if they don't know how to process it.
And I don't recall being all that interested in "toys." I think I was reading books, trying to play sports, watching too much TV, having a couple friends in the neighborhood. I didn't feel like a little kid.
Suicide, though, that's a tough one. I never felt that alienated until I was closer to 20 years old and started having miserable periods. Maybe I was just lucky -- and I didn't need to hide my sexuality. Nine does seem pretty young to take your own life.
But emotional pain is just that, even if you are only 9 years old.

[–] ProductionNow (1072) 6 years ago

Did you attend a private boarding school, or live in a very cultured area? That may be a factor in your comment about growing up in a bubble, or not.

And your sentence "I'm dismayed we may be accepting bullying as part of the human condition and inevitable." ..are you asking or surprised that bullying may have to be accepted as part of the human condition? If bullying has occurred for hundreds of thousands of years, we should expect it to cease and desist now? (the same for rape, assault, theft, etc.)

As much as we do not accept the atrocities in the world, they will still happen. I'm not sure why you're dismayed that we may have to accept that people are bad, do harmful things, and that it's not always the result of bad parenting. We do have prisons and jails (or a hair-brush to the backside of a child's butt) for such people, but that does not deter the next line-up of wrongdoers.

[–] snepts (11123) 6 years ago

Well. I sincerely thought we were evolving past these things. The people I grew up with were arguably good people, and I thought we would build on that. Apparently, maladjusted creeps like Trump are the norm now.
I'll try to adapt.

[–] ProductionNow (1072) 6 years ago

I think you're naive and/or lived in that bubble you questioned . Some things don't evolve in 50 yrs, if they do at all. You're living in some fantasy world if you think it will evolve into no wars, no discrimination, no injustice, no abuse, no this, no that. Human beings have innate-feelings about things (right or wrong), and are not robots that can be programed like a children's' doll. If anything, we are regressing, not evolving. And I don't blame Trump for his effort to keep Los Angeles from turning into a 3rd world country because it's not "politically correct". (Yeah, that's how we're evolving, by allowing illegal immigrants to be "legal", and leeching off the progress Americans made with this country). But if it doesn't affect you personally and where you live, you can sit back and go "tsk, "tsk, "tsk'. You're not in a position to call someone a creep, until you witness it for yourself. Nor does everything revolve around polities nor political party--that is simpleminded.
Yes, adapt, as if your life is that tough. Good-bye.

[–] snepts (11123) 6 years ago

Trump's a creep, of that I'm confident. If his followers admire that in him, one is tempted to feel the same way about them. But I'm not going after you, I'm just speaking my mind. Good day.

[–] AlfredTheGreat (471) 6 years ago

Hillary's a crook (and a polished one at that), of that I'm confident. If her followers admire that in her, one is tempted to feel the same way about them.

The above just proves we can sling mud at each other and accomplish nothing. Or we could discuss the issue for what it is which in part is that neither Trump nor Hillary invented bullying. I have to agree with PN in that some behavior is so ingrained from thousands of years of practicing it that unfortunately it will take more than a generation or two in modern times to eradicate it. I know quite a number of people from my high school class that have gone unchanged in their (negative) behavior from their school days. No doubt they cover the spectrum in terms of political thought, sexuality, etc. but the bottom line is that their behavior has not evolved.

[–] snepts (11123) 6 years ago

Hilary doesn't make a daily habit of making an ass of herself. "Crooked Hilary" is just a trope biased people like to repeat. Trump can't hide his awful behavior, but a segment of people accept it, which I don't understand.
And these are the sort of people who accept and encourage bullying, like it gives them a thrill to see someone dominating someone else. It's just awful.

[–] AlfredTheGreat (471) 6 years ago

There is no connection to who is in the White House and bullying. Bullying like in the OP predates Trump. It just did not get talked about unlike today which is unfortunate.

Actually, when Hillary could get cameras on her she did make an ass of herself. Trouble is the media is playing "Get Trump!" so unless Hillary wants to take some slush fund money to pay CNN the cameras will stay focused on Trump.

[–] snepts (11123) 6 years ago

One could argue the rate of certain crimes goes down as we become more cultured, and that should be the goal of humanity, to become more kind and cultured. That's what they state in Star Trek, that Earth had overcome most ill behavior. If a boarding school education and cultured community means a child is less likely to be bullied, we should be striving for more cultured communities. But there are pockets of people who will charge such people as being "elites" and out of touch with these great rural folks and threaten to steal their voodoo religion and precious armaments away from them.
Seriously, as a society we should be molding our child citizens to be kind and tolerant, and I believe largely we have. People want to emphasize bullying as a normal part of navigating one's existence, but it doesn't have to be this way, and we shouldn't simply accept it.
Maybe I was a little lucky. My folks were nice people, I wasn't bad looking and I've always been pretty sharp in social situations. Sometimes when faced with adversity I might not know how to react, sometimes I get inappropriately angry when I wish I had been more rational, bit I want everyone around me to maintain their dignity, not torment them for their shortcomings.

[–] AlfredTheGreat (471) 6 years ago

Admirable goals but we are not even close to living in the world of Star Trek. Bullies come in all sorts of colors, backgrounds, income levels, and political stripes. As to your notion people will want to tear down elites that is not close to accurate. The gun toters and Bible thumpers want vouchers so their kids could have a choice of schools as well as what you had.

[–] ProductionNow (1072) 6 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ProductionNow (1072) 6 years ago

Look, snepts, The straightforward-truth is that I think you are pompous & verbose in your wording (on every board), and come from some "superior" existence which is underlined by a sense of arrogance. "There are so many of your comments that I could argue about respectfully", well, la-de-da. You dont' sound sophisticated, but phony.

And how nice for you that you were not "bad looking" and were "pretty sharp" in social situations. Somebody filled your pampered conceited-head, sport.
This will be the last communication between us.

[–] snepts (11123) 6 years ago

I never meant to be pompous. If you read op-ed pieces in major newspapers, the writers try to explain their positions in a thoughtful, perhaps sophisticated to some readers, manner. I'm not trying be superior, but I am passionate about social equity and the abuse of power. I suspect you are frustrated at not being able to fight your fight without resorting to incivility. And what's phony about using the wonderful palette of words and phrases that language offers us? Where you seek simplicity, I see complexity.
btw, I don't take note of who I happen to be conversing with other than the content of the post. So choose not to respond if you want, but I have no idea who the heck you are. Just another random person on the interwebs.

[–] Frogarama (12942) 6 years ago

I knew sexual attraction before I was 9 years old, so I have no issue with him recognizing his own. I've heard a lot of gay guys and girls knew it when they were kids.

[–] PeteRose (2893) 6 years ago

I absolutely knew, and I contemplated suicide that young and younger. I was never bullied, I was never out as a child but I thought every day about how I was going to tell people. The world, up until the last few years has told gay kids they were wrong and evil and whatever. It projected these things consciously and overtly, and there are subtle and subconscious ways the world makes a gay child feel hopeless and different. If a boy has the strength to come out at 9 and risk the backlash he knows will come, I'd say he knows who he is.

[–] sslssg (34211) 6 years ago

I think that you are completely under estimating the abilities of children to understand themselves and the world around them. Toddlers can begin to understand consequences and from the ages of 5-12 children can totally understand cause and effect, right and wrong.

[–] ProductionNow (1072) 6 years ago

Yes, but those Toddlers are not necessarily thinking about those consequences being one of suicide from one of their peers. So, I think you're over-estimating the abilities of children in that context. If you ever teased or bullied one of your classmates, you rationalized: "I better not, they may kill themselves"? That is on a different level than being spanked or being grounded as a consequence.

[–] sslssg (34211) 6 years ago

Toddlers, no. But I do think that a 9 year old is able to understand those consequences. James Bulger's killers were 10 yrs old. They were found by psychologists to know what they were doing. They planned it out. Is that different than a bully thinking that their target will kill themselves? Perhaps, but I certainly think that a child at that age can mean it when they tell someone to go kill themselves and understand what suicide is and the finality of it.