What did you watch on this Simian week? (06/03-06/09)
Let'S talk about movies baby! Let'S talk about you and me, let'S talk about all the good things and the bad things.
The foreigner (2017 DVD): I’m a huge Jackie Chan lover and had to buy this but man, it was not better than all the rest of the crap that’s coming out these days. The story was just ok enough for me to care but the action, which is supposed to elevate the film, made the whole thing quite shameful. The first action we get to see is a cheap explosion that looks like a joke, the punch line being Brosnan’s reaction to it. Then when the police ask him who could’ve done such a thing as to put a bomb in his office, he lies and claims he’s clueless so he can send 4 of his guys to take care of sad Jackie. Do you think his 4 guys managed to do the police’s job? In Brosnan ingenious words; “One guy against the four of you and you lost him? Are you dumb and blind?” Yep, so what does our super-charismatic hero Brosnan does after? He sends more guys! Then he sends his nephew, Rambo. But turns out Rambo was banging is wife the snitch. Quite shameful I tell ya. 5.5/10
Planet of the Apes (2001 DVD): I never saw the original version but I enjoyed this one. I don’t know why I never watched it before because I love monkeys. For real, I always dreamed of holding one in my arms. It’s a fun movie but those monkeys like to talk a bit too much. I would’ve trimmed the script a bit and made the action more credible and violent. 7/10
Rise of the planet of the Apes (2011 Bluray): Great installment; they took their time for the story to be set and it was worth it. I love monkeys. I love them. Unfortunately, I am a ‘real monkey’ kind of guy, as in Monkey Trouble, so it took me a while to get used to the CGI but once I got pass that it was a thrilling and emotional ride. There are some very good special effects, especially toward the end. I like Franco but that was not his best performance, far from it. 7.5/10
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014 DVD): The main flaw in this one was the human characters; I failed to connect with them so I barely cared about their side of the story. The plot itself was so-so. The monkeys were great; they were credible and endearing. But then again, I’ve been a monkey lover for a long time, in case you don’t know. Finally, the action and special effects were solid and fairly entertaining. 7/10
War on the planet of the Apes (2017 DVD): Now I think this one is a great final achievement. What any final entry of a trilogy should be. Astonishing to see what would be a good movie with humans only, becoming a great cinematic experience with simian protagonists thanks to some amazing work by all involved. More monkeys + less humans + Badass Woody= 8/10